HELP!!!!!!

So I have a five year old step son who has major behavor problems! He is with me most of the time and I just can't control him. I ask why he doesn't listen and he responds " I dont want to" or " I dont care". I know kids will be kids but he is way over board. I've taken things away, put him in time out, and if he is super bad I will spank him( very rare) . I just don't know what to do any more?!?!? I could pull my hair out. He gets in trouble at school everyday and doesn't listen to his actual mom. Any advise on how I could handle this differently? Sometimes I.find myself yelling and have to.calm myself down..I don't want to yell at him but I fell its the only way to get through.

Quoting Kaylee Nelson:" So I have a five year old step son who has major behavor problems! He is with me most of the time and ... [snip!] ... I.find myself yelling and have to.calm myself down..I don't want to yell at him but I fell its the only way to get througid say its his normal house like

is probly his home life

What are his specific sissues?

You're headed down a very slippery slope spanking someone elses child.

- At this age, and with his family dynamics, Id look into counselling and/or boys programs (like after school where they build self esteem etc)

Quoting Shannonsfirst:" You're headed down a very slippery slope spanking someone elses child. - At this age, and with his ... [snip!] ... with his family dynamics, Id look into counselling and/or boys programs (like after school where they build self esteem etc)"

i believe if you cant disipline a child in your care dont watch him you need to ask about his home life.

Quoting crystalgayle2011:" i believe if you cant disipline a child in your care dont watch him you need to ask about his home life."

shes not 'watching' him, she is his stepmother.

And Ive read some pretty bad stories on BG about step moms using spanking and then the father, inlaws and/or biological mother attacking them and/or having them charged....thats what I mean by slippery slope.

Quoting Shannonsfirst:" shes not 'watching' him, she is his stepmother. And Ive read some pretty bad stories on BG about ... [snip!] ... the father, inlaws and/or biological mother attacking them and/or having them charged....thats what I mean by slippery slope."

well she is watching himbut she is his step mom id talk to your husband becuase he needs to learn you wont tollerate his behavior

Counseling! It is either issues at him (whether your home, moms home or both) or a behavior disorder like ODD (problem with authority figures) or other ones....either way a counselor would do him good.

His mom was in the national guard and was never around. She knows I spank him sometimes and she is ok with it. But she doesn't have any rules and let's him run around crazy. He one day.. while we were out to lunch.. let him run out of the restaurant and all around the parking lot and let me( like 7 months pregnant) run after him. He screams everywhere, he uses bad words, you have to tell him everything ten times, his bedtime is nine and he gets outta bed all night to play. Everything is ny mom says I can. It just goes on!

Quoting Kaylee Nelson:" His mom was in the national guard and was never around. She knows I spank him sometimes and she is ok ... [snip!] ... ten times, his bedtime is nine and he gets outta bed all night to play. Everything is ny mom says I can. It just goes on!"

teach him how there may be a different expectations at his moms house, but this it the way he is to behave when in your care, and let him know what will happen for breaking the rules and then stick to it.

Oh he knows rules at mommys, rules at days.. he says that but does what he wants anyways. It's hard to put him in a program having him half the week. Id like to put him in counsiling but I doubt shed let me or his daddy.

Quoting Kaylee Nelson:" Oh he knows rules at mommys, rules at days.. he says that but does what he wants anyways. It's hard to ... [snip!] ... hard to put him in a program having him half the week. Id like to put him in counsiling but I doubt shed let me or his daddy."

His father has rights to as long as he is on the birth certificate and is documented as his father.

Quoting Kaylee Nelson:" Oh he knows rules at mommys, rules at days.. he says that but does what he wants anyways. It's hard to ... [snip!] ... hard to put him in a program having him half the week. Id like to put him in counsiling but I doubt shed let me or his daddy."

then when he beaks your rules, he needs to know what wil happen, and you need to stick with it.