re: Deleted.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kaelyn & Kamron's Mommy:</b>" I completely unserstand what you're going through bc my mom is a drug addict & has been for almost ... [snip!] ... bc she was such a horrible mother to me. But i dont want to lose my sister also. So i kinda have to deal. Ughhh so stressful."</blockquote>




Geeze, that reminded me of when I had Grey I didn't tell her because I didn't want any stress at the hospital. She found out because one of my friends congratulated me on fb. She came to the hospital at 11pm, lied to the nurse and said I called her, busted in my room wasted with her friend, taking pictures of Grey with the flash on and he was sleeping and almost dropped him. I called security.
I offered to fly her back down here, found a rehab for her that would be free for her to go to and was willing to work with her, but obviously she doesn't have any reason to go to rehab.
Oh man, I feel bad for your little sister, she still have eleven years before she can do something about it :/ at least she has you..

<blockquote><b>Quoting The Lily:</b>" So you are being a bitch to me biased off of my opinion of the 3 small paragraphs you wrote? If you ... [snip!] ... of what you wrote.... You are obviously a smurf, no wonder your mother didn't want to change for you, I wouldn't have either. "</blockquote>




Why be so mean? I don't get it. Do you know the OP? I feel for her. You obviously don't know the pain of not having your mother in your life. There is nothing that compares to the pain knowing that the person that gave birth to you doesn't care about you. Only themselves. They are the one person in your life that's suppose to love you unconditionally. As a mother myself I can't imagine treating my children like the way her mother treated her and how my mother treats me. I told my mom thank you for being such a smurffy mom cause now I know how not to treat my kids.

Sadly some peoples rock bottom is the morgue. Mine was being told that I would only get to see my son 1 hour a month. Like one of the girls said love her from a distance. Also, I think you should talk to someone. Addictions doesn't just affect a single person.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Lulafortune:</b>" Speaking as an older Mom who has a mother similar to this...my Mom never got better. I have had to mourn ... [snip!] ... has never even met my youngest child who is 3. Honestly, it gets better. You get used to it and you find a way to move on..."</blockquote>




That is an awful story, I am sorry, you sound like such a very strong person!
I luckily had great grandparents on both sides who were there in my parents absence. I let myself stay raw to it, I have a lot of hurt that needs to heal and right now it's turned into anger towards her. I just want to move on, she has, it's only fair.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Amy Burnham:</b>" I have a mother who is ok with not having Me in her life. I really understand what you mean though. I ... [snip!] ... there away to flag it as drama if it's not your post? That was cruel and mean. I don't understand how people can be like that."</blockquote>




Unfortunately you will come across a handful of people like that on here. I think you can mod their post, but I'm sure shes gone.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Amy Burnham:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting The Lily:</b>" So you are being a bitch to me biased off of ... [snip!] ... her and how my mother treats me. I told my mom thank you for being such a smurffy mom cause now I know how not to treat my kids."</blockquote>




Exactly. I couldnt fathom being the root of my children's pain. I will never understand that now that I know how immense a mothers love should be. I can count on one hand how many times we have hugged and she had said "I love you" combined, in the last decade. But it makes me love my baby just that much more!

<blockquote><b>Quoting GL♣05/08/2013:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Amy Burnham:</b>" I have a mother who is ok with not having ... [snip!] ... you will come across a handful of people like that on here, I think you can mod their post, but I'm sure shes gone."</blockquote>


Good cause people like that shouldn't comment. They should keep that kind of stuff to their self. I never understood why people are mean like that. It blows my mind. Idk why it ruffles my feathers so much. But karmas a notch and she will get hers. Obviously she doesn't have passion for other people's pain. I'm a Damn hippie Im all about love cheesy I know. I think having such a smurffy mom helped me become the person I am.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Moody Momma:</b>" Sadly some peoples rock bottom is the morgue. Mine was being told that I would only get to see my son ... [snip!] ... girls said love her from a distance. Also, I think you should talk to someone. Addictions doesn't just affect a single person. "</blockquote>




That is what I am afraid of and I know she doesn't care about herself, part of me feels like I'm doing this in preparation for when that moment comes.. As if it will make it easier to distance myself before it happens. I did not end things on a bad note, I didn't say any terrible things or anything I would regret, I finally got MY feelings out. I told her I can't deal with wondering if I am going to get a phone call to identify her body. My final straw that trip home was when we were at a family gathering And my son and I walked in on her in the bathroom doing coke. She's just so ate out now, talking to her is like talking to an infant who doesn't understand a word that is coming out of your mouth.
I want to talk to someone, my husband and I just discussed this, I need to talk to someone. When I was a child I asked to talk to our counselor but my mom refused to sign the papers, she told me if i Talked to them they would take me away. So I just learned to ignore it, ignore everything, but I can't anymore.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Kimber-lily:</b>" That was mean. She is obviously sick and needs help. And you practically abandoned her. "</blockquote>



Unless you have been basically abandoned by someone who was supposed to be there for you no matter what for something like drugs or alcohol then you have no smurfing idea how it feels. It feels unfair and heartbreaking and you wonder why you weren't enough. That's the feelings of it.

The reality is that addicts and alcoholics cannot change unless THEY want to. No amount of feeling guilty, not having anything, losing your home, job, family, etc phases them. It took me a very long time to learn and accept that, however, the natural feelings still surface at times when I look at my daughter and think that I could never just let her go.

OP is not "mean". She is honest.

Quoting GL♣05/08/2013:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Kaelyn & Kamron's Mommy:</b>" I completely unserstand what you're ... [snip!] ... I feel bad for your little sister, she still have eleven years before she can do something about it :/ at least she has you.."

Omg i wouldve called security too. I literally screamed at my mom when she passed out with Kaelyn. She denied passing out of course, like I was stupid. My husband & a mutual friend of mine & my moms was sitting there & watched her. Another thing, my husband didnt tell me until after she left that day... is that when i was in labor, my mom was in the corner of my delivery room sneaking pills into her mouth. Really bitch? You wanna get smurfed up while im in horrible labor pain over here? Oh i was so mad.

I know how you feel. It's really sad when you have to give up on someone you really don't want to. I'm sure you know your mom is sick and it hurts like hell to watch some degraded themselves so much. I feel SO much guilt over my mother's illness. I had a mom that was normal growing up until I was 9 then something snapped. I kinda' wish I never saw what a good mom she could be so I didn't miss it so much. Or know that my daughter is missing out on a grandmother.
Grrr I hate pills.

I think all of us are pretty glad you posted this topic, bc its allowing all of us to vent about our addict parents too!

Maybe you should go visit her alone and help her.
Talk to her in person, tell her how you feel, explain to her what you see in her from your perspective.
Tell her you want to help her so that she can better herself and be involved in your childs life.

Walking out on her will only make things worse on her. She needs you more than you need her right now.

Quoting Kimber-lily:" So you are being a bitch to me biased off of my opinion of the 3 small paragraphs you wrote? If you ... [snip!] ... of what you wrote.... You are obviously a smurf, no wonder your mother didn't want to change for you, I wouldn't have either. "

Wow,how immature can you be to low blow someone like that and say something completely uncalled for and disrespectful?! Her response to you was completely justified,you threw out an insult as if she was just trash talking her mother which she clearly wasn't she was venting because she's distraught and hurt by the situation.
Great job at being a decent human being!

My mom was an alcoholic and was/is a computer addicted. She spends night and day on the computer and remains unemployed with two single mom daughters living with her with their kids; one of them being mentally disabled. My dad is physically disabled as well. She doesn't care. She doesn't clean, she doesn't cook. She doesn't even leave the house anymore. She just sits on her computer all day and all night. If you don't step in for her during a game of whatever she has be it farkle or bingo she will cuss you out and scream at you until you do and freak out if you make her lose. She has no grasp on the reality of things that they don't have a pot to piss in most months when their bills nearly go unpaid and they run out of food every month yet she won't work. She sleeps like 12-15 hours a day some days too. She is out of control. She used to be like this and an alcoholic. I remember having to steal the ebt card out of her purse to go to the gas station for food with my sisters because she was too absorbed in her computer and all we had was spoiled food in the fridge. We would go weeks without things we needed until our dad found out and he would spend what little he had after child support with his fixed income on stuff we needed. My dad was nearly going without food himself and he is a diabetic. She was spending the child support on beer. She actually dated a real creepy guy. A few years later he got busted for sexually assaulting his next girlfriends daughter who was my age. Smurf was just bad and sad and things haven't changed all that much. :/ just substituting alcohol for milk, religion and Effexor. I can't walk away. I want to but if I do I lose my dad too. I love him dearly. I couldn't isolate myself from my mom in order to show her i mean business without isolating myself from him or the rest of my family.