Toddler won't listen

My daughter is almost 3, and she has such a hard time listening to my directions. For example, she KNOWS she should not run away from me, and needs to hold my hand, but she fights me when we are in parking lots or other places, (I think it's because she wants to be a "big girl") and she will run from me and think it's funny. I will swat her butt when she does this, because she needs to know it is NOT okay and I tell her she could be ran over by a car and mommy would be very sad. But she won't stop doing it. I have been trying to work with her and praising her for when she does hold my hand, I tell her she's being such a good girl and mommy is proud of her and she smiles. I am worried about when this baby is born and we go places.. I can't hold the baby carrier AND chase her around a parking lot because she chooses to not listen.. How can I get her to listen to me?? and people have told me to get one of those child harness backpack things.. I am actually considering it even though people think it's "bad".. because I'd rather have her on one of those than get hit by a car or something.. I am just at a loss of what I should do.. help?!

we are working on this as well... and btw I have 3 of those harness backpacks. I have no problem using them...

Quoting J+D=4:" we are working on this as well... and btw I have 3 of those harness backpacks. I have no problem using them..."

I looked them up to see which ones they have at Walmart.. and the elephant is actually really cute! So I was thinking about getting it for her and telling her it's a backpack.... but we'll see how well that works out ha.

I got my son harness I'd rather have him safe. Then hurt because he wont listen at times.

Don't give her the chance. She doesn't get it yet and since you know it's not a game you need to make sure she doesn't even get the chance. Don't let her down in the parking lot and explain to her why you're not and let her know it's a very serious issue. The listening thing is a separate issue. Make sure you're getting on her level (or bringing her to yours) look her in the eyes, make it simple and in words she can understand. If she doesn't do it right away be patient and wait a minute or two, toddlers can be very resistant when they feel rushed around and usually toddlers are being rushed constantly. It can be frustrating. Then repeat yourself again, hold your hand out and take her to do whatever you're requesting. Also think about how you phrase things. Give her the opportunity to take responsibility for certain things. If it's picking up her toys instead of saying "Pick up your toys" try something like "Wow, it's so messy in here. How do you think we can fix this?/ I have a problem, can you help me? It's almost time to leave and this stuff is everywhere. How can we fix that?". Get her involved in the process of figuring stuff out and actually taking responsibility for things like that instead of having to be told multiple times.

Quoting Δ ☮ ∂:" Don't give her the chance. She doesn't get it yet and since you know it's not a game you need to make ... [snip!] ... of figuring stuff out and actually taking responsibility for things like that instead of having to be told multiple times. "

I try, it is just so frustrating. It's the second I get her out of her carseat she starts fighting me trying to get down and she pushes with all her might against me and kicks and hits. it's hard, she weighs 31 pounds and I am 9 months pregnant.. it's even more hard when I try to put her into a shopping cart so she can't run around.. she kicks and screams because she HATES carts.. and once the baby is born I won't be able to hold the baby carrier AND carry her inside the store..

Quoting Δ ☮ ∂:" Don't give her the chance. She doesn't get it yet and since you know it's not a game you need to make ... [snip!] ... of figuring stuff out and actually taking responsibility for things like that instead of having to be told multiple times. "

but I will start trying your technique about staying calm and giving her time. hopefully it works!