I have two little girls from my ex. The relationship that we shared has become very violent. He was cheating throughout the past 6 years that we have been together and recently throughout the past 2 years he has become violent towards me. He has strangled me on multiple occasions and has put a gun to me.... He has went to jail, and has a pending case against him for what he did to me. He is out on bond, and has been telling me that what happened didnt actually happen and that he never hurt me. He tells me that he loves me and that he will never hurt me again, but even I know this isnt true. Financially, I have provided for my children on my own, he only gives money sporadically, never on a consistent basis but he works full time and is on child support but he doesnt pay that. I know that from the outside looking in, the obvious answer to my problem is to just leave, but still I haven't been able to do this. I find myself being so depressed because my whole adult life (since 1 I have been in a relationship with my children's father and to completely walk away from him frightens me so much that I can't do it. I know that if I chose to stay I will end up dead possibly... and that is what is causing me to look for help or some type of outlet to get the courage to end this before its too late. So if you are or have been in a violent relationship, can you tell me how you went about leaving.
These are my obstacles on why I can't leave:
*I cant afford childcare (My daughters attend their father's aunts daycare for free)
*I just lost my job in Sept. and I have little money to move
*I have no family that I could live with, so when I move I would be starting off completely on my own
*My own feelings of loving my ex keeps me going back to him
I've never been in such a situation, but my mother was and wouldn't leave for financial/religious reasons. Please don't do that to your children. I'd honestly rather have been living in a shelter than that place. Have you applied for assistance?
My mom was in an abusive relationship. She got into a Domestic Violence shelter and we stayed there until she got on her feet. They help with financial aid that you can wean yourself off of. In Ohio we have section 8 where they will pay for ALOT of your rent and also heap/pipp that can help you pay your electric bill. They have so many programs that can help you out in this situation. You just have to find that courage to leave. My grandma and mom was abused and they stayed for a while. My grandma had her jaw broken, metal plates in plenty of places in her skull. It will only get worse. Love shouldnt hurt. You deserve way better than anybody that thinks its okay to lay a hand on you. The relationship won't get better from domestic violence classes or jail time. It may start to look better but he will revert back to being an abuser. I know for a fact its hard to leave an abusive relationship. I always told myself, any man who lays a finger on me will be gone in a second... But then you start to thinking, he loves me, he said he wont do it again, hes changed. Its bullsmurf! complete bullsmurf! I am still struggling with getting the courage to leave. But once your able to take that step, your life will move forward and no matter how much you struggle you and your kids will be better off. I hope you find the strength that i dont have right now and i hope you get out for the sake of your life. Your girls need their mommy and i believe you will find the strength to leave. Good luck! Stay safe. There's always another option.