I feel ungrateful

We are currently doing IBI (intensive behavioral therapy ) for autism with my 4 year old in our home for 30 hours a week. I have a schedule and rarely is it correct-this irritates me. It is one thing if it is just a different therapist but when they are early or late or dont show up because the scheduler screwed up (and this happens often) then I just need to roll with the punches I guess. Yesterday Im thinking cool no therapy this morning Ill actually get to relax for a few minutes-then a therapist shows up, and she then informs me that in the afternoon two of her bosses are coming too-I have to say that this pissed me off-it is one thing to expect 1 therapist but 2 more and an additional college student too! Plus it was completely overwhelming for my son who ran in the bedroom and cried and shoved his head under his big stuffed dog. But then I feel ungrateful-these people are trying to help and I am griping about being inconvenienced-I need to suck it up......right?

I kinda think I would be a little annoyed too. I'm very sensitive to my routine, though. I also like to know when someone is coming to my house because I'm kind of picky about making sure it's really clean. Dumb I guess, I'm pregnant, work full time, full time college student with a toddler who obviously loves to make messes, 2 dogs and a cat but it's important to me because my mom is an effing slob that no one sees my house dirty so I can't stand it when people show up I wasn't expecting   My MIL was bad about just showing up and I literally flipped my smurf. I've hidden dirty dishes in the stove when they text us saying "we're five minutes from your house" I don't know why. Their house is far from perfect but it bothers me a lot, so I don't think you're being ungrateful.

I dont think its ungrateful and you have a right to be irritated. They should be organized enough that this doesnt happen all the time. Wouldnt they be mad if they came out to your house & you werent there. They should at least call and let you know that the scheduling has changed

Quoting Reise's Mommy:" I kinda think I would be a little annoyed too. I'm very sensitive to my routine, though. I also like ... [snip!] ... house" I don't know why. Their house is far from perfect but it bothers me a lot, so I don't think you're being ungrateful."

Im a clean freak too-that is why I like to know, to make everything perfect,lol

My son has home visits too for speech therapy twice a week. They sometimes text me and say they can't make it and they're frequently 10-15 minutes late but that's nothing like showing up on off days.

Quoting Misty Walls:" I dont think its ungrateful and you have a right to be irritated. They should be organized enough that ... [snip!] ... they came out to your house & you werent there. They should at least call and let you know that the scheduling has changed"

I made sure I repeated the fact that it was lucky that we were still home a few times, to drive the point home. The scheduler is also one of the therapists so I am nervous about pissing her off because that would just be awkward.

Quoting mama3trish:" Im a clean freak too-that is why I like to know, to make everything perfect,lol "

I clean way too much. I mop on my hands and knees like every other day. I wasn't THIS bad until about 24 weeks into this pregnancy. Now I refuse to even use our Swiffer wet because the floor still feels dirty to me. My husband thinks I'm insane and gets mad at me, but I can't help it. I grew up in rented trailers and apartments and got made fun of for having clothes that were always too small and being poor so my appearance to others is a little too important to me. I try very hard to have nice things and have a nice house and be the perfect little family.

Quoting Reise's Mommy:" I clean way too much. I mop on my hands and knees like every other day. I wasn't THIS bad until about ... [snip!] ... is a little too important to me. I try very hard to have nice things and have a nice house and be the perfect little family."

Awe Im happy that you have a house that you can be proud of. My husband makes fun of me because we have been through 3 vaacuums in a couple years and says that normal people dont vacuum every single day,lol

Quoting mama3trish:" Awe Im happy that you have a house that you can be proud of. My husband makes fun of me because we have ... [snip!] ... of me because we have been through 3 vaacuums in a couple years and says that normal people dont vacuum every single day,lol"

I'm a freak then too haha. I get worse the older I get. I quit smoking with this pregnancy because the ecigs came out here recently and I COULD quit (tried with my first with the patch, severely allergic, tried cold turkey and my doctor flipped because my blood pressure went through the roof so I just cut to like 4 or 5 a day from like 30, but been almost 6 months nicotine free now!   ) and now I smell EVERYTHING. I could sniff out anything, I think. So I'm constantly mopping and vacuuming and mopping again trying to hunt down things no one else can even smell haha. We have a $400 vacuum and I don't even like it. It's the Dyson Animal. It's great for hair and dirt and things but Cheerios? Not so much. Just pushes them around. I hate that I spent so much money on the stupid thing  

Quoting mama3trish:" We are currently doing IBI (intensive behavioral therapy ) for autism with my 4 year old in our home ... [snip!] ... I feel ungrateful-these people are trying to help and I am griping about being inconvenienced-I need to suck it up......right?"

I know how you feel. I get a new schedule like, every week and last week I must have had an old schedule up because our Friday was jacked up. We had friends coming from 2 hours away to spend time with their family for Thanksgiving, but they stayed at our house. Q's schedule was supposed to be a morning shift with a break in the early afternoon, and then a couple more hours late in the afternoon. Ok, I can live with that. It turned out that his whole day was actually scheduled out so one therapist actually suggested she not come back in the afternoon so Q could just spend some time with his friends that were over. Then I checked the mail over that weekend and had a reminder letter that if we cancel our hours with less than 24 hrs notice we get billed DIRECTLY. I will be so pissed if I get a bill for that day. SOOOO PISSED. Not to mention the days when literally three people show up instead of one and I'm like, oh, I didn't realize we were having a party today... But I do try to remind myself that it's awesome he even has this opportunity and I know that they are trying their best to balance the schedules of all the kids and adults (who are all on multiple teams and usually have another job, too). So I know how you feel but I do try to just suck it up. It could be worse... he could be going without!

On one hand, I'm totally jealous of you! lol

On the other, my son NEEDS a schedule so I NEED a schedule, so it better damn well be the way I think it was supposed to be!

Quoting 1234567:" I know how you feel. I get a new schedule like, every week and last week I must have had an old schedule ... [snip!] ... another job, too). So I know how you feel but I do try to just suck it up. It could be worse... he could be going without!"

I think th other reason I feel like I am being ungrateful is because this is paid for by the government-not one penny out of our pocket except the 2 days he be requested to attend daycare (so $305-350 a month). If we paid for it then I wouldnt feel bad for being picky-kwim. And I do agree that he is a lucky boy to be getting such early intervention when some people have waited 4 years to get the help.

Quoting Mommy of a giggler!:" On one hand, I'm totally jealous of you! lol On the other, my son NEEDS a schedule so I NEED a schedule, so it better damn well be the way I think it was supposed to be!"

Are you guys on the list for IBI or is it not available to you? I was thankful in one way that Brady was relatively severe because we do seem to get help quicker and havent had any hesitation in his diagnosis-it was obvious.

Quoting mama3trish:" Are you guys on the list for IBI or is it not available to you? I was thankful in one way that Brady ... [snip!] ... was relatively severe because we do seem to get help quicker and havent had any hesitation in his diagnosis-it was obvious."

Nothing here locally - if we were in Edmonton (2 hours away) we could get a lot more. Up until this September, technically, there wasn't even OT or SLP available to kids in the PUF program (early education funding through the schools). Long story short - Alberta Health employees can't work with PUF kids unless they have room in thier caseload. One worker to 12,000 people in our area = no room. The only OT and SLP we had were 1 of each, and both worked for Alberta Health. They would work with them anyway, but it was limited.

We don't even have anyone at all local who does behavioral. I have a woman that comes from Edmonton once every 3 weeks or so to work with him. We are lucky, he's not to severe, and I work my ass off with him and he has a GREAT team  

Quoting Mommy of a giggler!:" Nothing here locally - if we were in Edmonton (2 hours away) we could get a lot more. Up until this ... [snip!] ... 3 weeks or so to work with him. We are lucky, he's not to severe, and I work my ass off with him and he has a GREAT team  "

This place we deal with is located and hour and a half away, but the team comes to you after you are accepted. The wait time is usually 2-3 years and the child has to be fairly severe-otherwise you are left with Pathways and they only are allowed to offer up to 1 hour a week......and they are kind of useless,lol. I can imagine you did work your ass off, I can tell you are a fantastic advocate and Mom. I really wish we had food therapists here-seriously wish. Next month we have a feeding team coming out and this consists of a ST and OT, so we will see what happens.