Miscarriage :(

About two years ago I had a miscarriage, it all seemed so crazy at the time. I was 18 years old - right out of highschool. I had been doing bad things, not taking care of myself at all( which I now regret). I took Xanax( not when I knew I was pregnant) and smoked weed. I had been sleeping around quite a bit and with all the
Wrong people... I remember taking the test and freaking out. It was a happy freak out tho lol. I kept It to myself for a few days and then one day in the shower I started to bleed ( I had never actually been to a dr I know stupid me but I didn't know how to without telling my parents) so I called up my dr and told her what was going on and she told me to come in or monitor it and go to the er if it got worse. The bleeding stopped so I thought I was ok ( dumb again) I feel like it hadn't registered to me how important this really was yet, and the father had nothing to do with me. It was around Christmas Time so me and my friend went shopping we were gonna buy the baby it's first outfit. Then I started feeling cramps and went to the bathroom and I was bleeding again this time with the worst cramps..

There's a part of me that will always hate myself for not taking care of myself from the start. I was young I was dumb and maybe this is the way things were supposed to turn out but I can't help but feeling this way...

I was 17 when i had a miscarriage 2 years old. It's hard to deal with. January my child would have been 2 and its crazy to think about. I remember the day i miscarried like it was yesterday still. It was hard i followed my pregnancy ticker and the things that would tell me what would have at certain week and when it come to my due date i cried, there was nothing i could do, but at the time i blamed myself sometimes i still do. Every year around this time is hard on me because it reminds me of what could have been. So i understand how you feel. if you ever need someone to talk to im here.

<blockquote><b>Quoting |♥| Jayme |♥|:</b>" I was 17 when i had a miscarriage 2 years old. It's hard to deal with. January my child would have been ... [snip!] ... on me because it reminds me of what could have been. So i understand how you feel. if you ever need someone to talk to im here."</blockquote>

<blockquote><b>Quoting |♥| Jayme |♥|:</b>" I was 17 when i had a miscarriage 2 years old. It's hard to deal with. January my child would have been ... [snip!] ... on me because it reminds me of what could have been. So i understand how you feel. if you ever need someone to talk to im here."</blockquote>


Thanks girl. It really is hard. I had just told my mom ( she was a bitch about it) and its hard to think about my bf has a 2 year old and I get jealous sometimes because why don't I have my baby ? I always thought she would be a girl   she would be about 1 1/2 now it's crazy. This time two years ago I was pregnant and it seems so far away

Quoting babymama0324:" <blockquote><b>Quoting |♥| Jayme |♥|:</b>" I was 17 when i had a miscarriage ... [snip!] ... she would be a girl   she would be about 1 1/2 now it's crazy. This time two years ago I was pregnant and it seems so far away"

No problem! I know how hard it is. I always thought i was going to have a boy I just had the strongest feeling that is was going to be a boy. I have a friend who was a month farther then me in pregnancy and for the longest time it was hard to deal with, but i try to keep in my mind that my baby is in a better place even though he/she can't be with me.