Quoting [Living Dead Girl]:" When I asked him why it's so important for him to be friends with her he said in his past he couldn't ... [snip!] ... girls without his dick getting into the way, and now that he's married he doesn't have to worry about that. I'm just at a loss."
That's a terrible excuse. That's not even an excuse, really. It's just plain backwards. I don't even understand his logic here.
He's basically saying now that he's married it's okay for him to befriend women on a very intense level because now society considers it very unacceptable for him to procure an inappropriate relationship with another woman and as such he is less likely to fall victim and have his "dick get in the way." He's saying that being married supposedly motivates him to be less of an smurf and subsequently less likely to cheat on you because your relationship's title has changed from "boyfriend and girlfriend" to "married couple." Since when did a change in title prevent infidelity? Yeah, being married might motivate the average person to work harder at NOT cheating but it certainly doesn't hinder a spouse's ability to be a douche bag and cheat. I mean that's what he's trying to say, right? He's basically saying that now he's married he suddenly has more of a reason to not go behind your back and form a relationship with another woman but we all know marriage is not an automatic deterrent for infidelity. It doesn't somehow prevent people from engaging in outside relationships like he's suggesting.
Like I said before, I'm sorry to say but this situation reeks of bullsmurf. He is in absolutely no position to be defensive about this either. You're the one who should be upset, not him. He's acting like a twat on top of being totally suspicious. To me that screams something is up. Often times people who are cheating tend to act like smurfs by doing things like accusing their partner of going out and cheating in order to take the spotlight off of their own smurffy actions. Not only this but it makes them feel better about what they're doing when they can make their partner look or feel as if they're doing something wrong. It sounds like this is exactly what he's doing. He's trying to make you feel bad for even suggesting something could be up but come on, 500 text messages in one month? That's more than enough evidence that something is going on. There is NO reason he should be exchanging that many messages with another woman. Maybe if it was a few texts every couple of days and they were about totally innocuous things like what time the boss is getting back from lunch or something then I would say you're overreacting but that's not the case here. You have every right to be worried.