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Send them this:

When DS comes in April that I do not want any visitors at the birthing center and for at least a week after the baby comes. So that we can have time to bond as a family without visitors like last time when no one would leave. So this means that I don't want anyone seeing DS for at least week after he's born..

Maybe over dinner? Something like that I'd prefer to hear face to face that's just my opinion though.

Don't tell them when he is born?

I am not trying to be rude about it, but last time they had done me so dirty I'm still mad about the events that had happened.

Don't tell them that you had the baby, then invite them when you want them to see the baby and say SURPRISE! lmao


On a serious note, just say it exactly how you explained here, tell her you wanna bond and have some alone time for the first week. Don't make it seem like it's because of them but more because you want to have some time alone as a family to adjust.

Just say that the week after his birth is going to just be for you DD and DH (or whoever) for some bonding and adjusting.

Quoting Mommy2Kay:" Don't tell them that you had the baby, then invite them when you want them to see the baby and say SURPRISE! ... [snip!] ... week. Don't make it seem like it's because of them but more because you want to have some time alone as a family to adjust."

But it IS because of them LOL!! Last time I let mil in the birthing room, she called SIL and gave her a play by play of the entire birth and SIL had the phone on speaker for everyone in the waiting room to hear. They also took turns going in and out of the delivery room while I was getting stiched up, not having respect for my privacy took pictures of daddy cutting the umbilical cord.. but that's not all that was in the pictures. Also they wouldn't leave.. they stayed at the hospital and we just wanted to sleep, SIL and MIL also stayed at my house without my permission for a week after she was born and wouldn't leave. MIL would take it upon herself to take DD out of my arms without asking and when DD would cry for breastmilk mil would think she could calm her down when I had to just say no give her to me.. and DH and MIL were both saying "no let her try and do it" just makes me furious to think about it.

Quoting cookie monster (a, +1):" But it IS because of them LOL!! Last time I let mil in the birthing room, she called SIL and gave her ... [snip!] ... say no give her to me.. and DH and MIL were both saying "no let her try and do it" just makes me furious to think about it."

But since they are family you wanna try to at least make it civil and not add drama. You can just tell the hospital you don't want visitors, they won't allow anyone to go in.

Quoting Mommy2Kay:" But since they are family you wanna try to at least make it civil and not add drama. You can just tell the hospital you don't want visitors, they won't allow anyone to go in."

We're having the baby at the birthing center.. and I'm letting them all know very soon and I will tell them a few times to make sure they all understand. If they think I'm being rude then that's too bad. Hopefully the same applies at the birthing center that I can tell them I do not want any visitors and since I would like DD present I won't need a baby sitter either.

I have been debating the same thing. There's one inlaw that I tend to clash with who wont listen to me as a parent and complains about my parenting. But I got an e-mail a few days ago where they pretty much are inviting themselves to come stay with us for a week when our daughter is born. I'm thinking of sending out an invite to everyone, where they are invited to come see the new baby a week after she is born. That way it's in a nice invitational way instead of me telling people they are not welcome the first week I bring my daughter home. I have also been debating on sending an e-mail explaining that during the first week I will be really sore from stitches from giving birth and stitches from having my tubes tied. And would really like the first week just to relax, spend one on one time getting my 18mo son introduced and use to a new baby and not worry about playing hostess to anyone. I don't know, I may do a mixture of the invitation along with explaining that the first week I need to recover. To me that don't sound rude or like I'm saying they are not welcome or does it seem a lil rude? I'm not sure, opinions?

tell your doctor/midwife that there is to be no one except you and DH &DD in the room, they will kick them out for you if they show up.
tell DH to tell them they are his family, weeks a long time tho, i would do a couple days them allow them to visit for an hour or so, and when you have had enough just tell them.

Have your hubby call them or send them a text while you are in labor so they wont make it in time to the hospital and try to be in the room with you. You can also tell your doctor who is and is not allowed in the room with you. This next kid, I'm not allowing anyone in the room with me during labor.

If it were me, I'd talk it over with DH, and have him tell them. I take the Dr. Phil approach and let him handle his family, and I handle mine, lol. I'd discuss it as soon as possible, so they can't act like they just forgot or didn't know once the baby gets here, ya know?

I plan on going to the same birthing center (only one in the state, so I know it's the same, lol). My first appointment is next week and I'm kinda nervous about switching doctors. Anyways, if everything goes good, they will probably let you and the baby leave within like 5 hours. To me it would be pointless for them to come for such a short amount of time, so hopefully that will help your case some.

Also, with them staying at your house uninvited, I know it's hard, but you have to put your foot down sometimes. I'm pretty passive, so I know it sucks, but if you don't nip it out at the beginning it gets worse and more awkward as time goes on. You've just got to make sure your hubby is on the same page as you, and have him support you. Having a new baby isn't easy, and you should not have any extra stress. The same goes for grabbing your baby out of your arms. That is something I have never allowed, and STILL don't with my 2.5 year old. You don't have to "share," because babies aren't dolls. If they need some breastmilk, that's what they need. The adults will just have to get used to it.

Good luck with everything, though! I hope it can go smooth for you and not cause a bunch of problems!

Quoting Emberly:" If it were me, I'd talk it over with DH, and have him tell them. I take the Dr. Phil approach and let ... [snip!] ... have to get used to it. Good luck with everything, though! I hope it can go smooth for you and not cause a bunch of problems!"

Thanks I have told them about it already, and they don't like it but I will tell them again and again before the baby comes, I will also be sure to wear this baby in a wrap so that they cannot just grab him out of my arms when we do decide to come around, they are going to have to ask and I will be putting my foot down with them and if that means having to be a real bitch about it then so be it, they are not just going to walk all over me like they did with my first and I've already made sure they know of this. None of them have said anything directly to me about it, but you can guarantee they are talking amongst themselves about my decision, and whatever that's fine because i'm the one giving birth not them. MIL says that she has been to the birth of every one of her grand babies and that was why I let her in the delivery room with the first because she cried. But she's just going to miss this one and not be able to see him until I say so and she can cry about it if she wants, i'm not feeling sorry for her this time after how she did the first time.


Are you seeing family care midwives on Patrick street? And yes, the same birthing center