Forums > Health & Well-BeingPage 1 2 3by: Party of FIVE!

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posted 29th Nov
All gone.  
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I have 3 kids & live in Romania
posted 29th Nov
Can you post it?
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I have 2 kids & 1 angel baby & live in Ohio
posted 29th Nov
Quoting Hairspray:" Can you post it?"

 
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I'm due February 16th (a girl), have 2 kids & live in Jacksonville, Florida
posted 29th Nov
If you don't want to post it, PM a few of us to get a some different opinions.
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I have 1 child & live in Florida
posted 29th Nov
The article is amazing. I did see a few minor spelling typos but otherwise it's beautifully written. Sorry you went through all that, but so glad to hear that you found a great man to be by your side and were healed by a birth in your own terms.
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I'm due June 6th, have 1 child & live in Charlotte, North Carolina
posted 29th Nov
I am truly at a loss for words. You are an amazing woman! And im soooo sorry you went thru that  
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I'm due October 2nd (a boy), have 1 child & 1 angel baby & live in Ohio
posted 29th Nov
I read the whole thing. I think it's great. There are a few wording things and such I would change, but it's from your heart and written wonderfully, so I would say don't change it. It's from your heart. I think it's great.

And I'm sorry you went through all that. I too was a victim of rape at 16 and also felt uncomfortable at some of my first appointments, especially with a male provider. I've read a lot of women, some who do not have a past of sexual assault, still feel violated during the birthing process and I think it's definitely something that needs more attention and that providers should be more considerate of.

Anyway, I think it's wonderful. You're very strong for writing it.
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I have 3 kids & 1 angel baby & live in ?
posted 29th Nov
I had chills the entire time I was reading this. You did a wonderful job & I saw very few errors. I'm so sorry you had to go through all of this.  


You're very strong for writing about this & I'm sure it will help a lot of people.
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I have 1 child & live in Florida
posted 29th Nov
Ur not alone I have been there. It is very hard..... U got sum guts thats for sure. I can't even talk about mine. It still haunts me to this day.......
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I'm due May 1st, have 1 child & live in Buffalo, Texas
posted 29th Nov
Your story is great but you aren't a very good writer. It flows terribly and is full of grammatical errors as well as style errors. I hope you don't actually get paid to write. Not trying to be super mean. You asked my opinion. I gave it.
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I have 1 child & 1 angel baby & live in Plentywood, Montana
posted 29th Nov
This is a lovely story, but if it is for publication, you have some work to do. I am not trying to attack or come off rude, but you asked for insight on the actual writing, so I am going to give some advice.
You have multiple spelling errors. The sentences are difficult to read, as then are choppy and you have written many sentence fragments (incomplete sentences). You cannot start sentences with conjunctions (ex:, and or but). Many sentences require commas; read your work out loud and where you pause, within a sentence, consider putting a comma. Again, if this going to publish, I would consider rewording as to avoid using passive voice, and get rid of any contractions.
I would print out the article, and give it to multiple people for proof reading. The story needs developing, but good start!
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I'm due June 1st (a girl), have 1 child & live in La Grange, North Carolina
posted 29th Nov
Quoting RonniG:" Your story is great but you aren't a very good writer. It flows terribly and is full of grammatical errors ... [snip!] ... as style errors. I hope you don't actually get paid to write. Not trying to be super mean. You asked my opinion. I gave it."

No, I do not get paid to write. That was kinda bitchy of you. But could you please tell me the errors. I know I am not a great writer, hence WHY I asked. I do this for a site that helps women.
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I have 3 kids & live in Romania
posted 29th Nov
44% of women under the age of 18 have not been raped it's 44% of women who have been raped are under 18. Don't start your piece with wildy inaccurate statements it made me mistrustful (not the right word but I can't think of a better one, it's been a long day) of the rest.

Apart from that the rest of the article/story was very heartfelt and I really feel for you and what you have been through.

Edit: http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims
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I'm TTC since July '12 & live in United Kingdom
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