BD and I broke up and..

So he dumped me the other day because he had a bad day at work and said he was going to be then I wasn't there for him when he didn't, anyway, He came over to collect his things and we had an argument because he doesn't do ANYTHING to help me out with OUR son. He has gotten up with him three times, not changed a single diaper, and has only held him a handful of times. Liam is almost two months old now, and I think this is unacceptable. He told me he wished I hadn't even had him then turned around when I said that I was tired of doing EVERYTHING and said "If you're tired of being a mom then my mom, sister, and I will take him and you don't have to" STUPID BITCH, I never even thought that I didn't want him, I said I was tired of doing everything because you're a dead beat. Okay, so, he's not even on the birth certificate but Liam has his last name. I told him I wasn't going to pursue child support or a paternity test because I'd rather Liam not have a dead beat father who spends all his time that he's at my house on the computer instead of interacting with his son. He's now talking about taking me to court for custody and a paternity test. I'm sorry I had to get this all off my chest.

Im pretty sure if hes not on the certificate that he cant do smurf, but im not totally sure. Good luck, mama. Seems like you and LO deserve much better

He's not a dead beat. He works and financially supports his Son. Just because he doesn't do EVERYTHING you want him to, does not make him a deadbeat. After all, he is trying to get custody of him now.

Quoting Fhuck.:" Im pretty sure if hes not on the certificate that he cant do smurf, but im not totally sure. Good luck, mama. Seems like you and LO deserve much better"

yes he can, if the DNA tests shows it is his child.

Meh, SO barely helped with DD when she was that little because he was working full time and I wasn't. Once I went back to work he had no other choice and now he's a major help. The older she got, the more involved he got and he's a great dad. Wasn't so good at changing diapers, but he'll play with her, give her baths, dress her, etc... Which in the beginning I never saw him doing. Maybe give him a chance to grow up, it's a big adjustment. How old are you guys?

Quoting responsibleturtles:" So he dumped me the other day because he had a bad day at work and said he was going to be then I wasn't ... [snip!] ... son. He's now talking about taking me to court for custody and a paternity test. I'm sorry I had to get this all off my chest."

he'll get a wake up call. you will have custody unless you are proven an unfit parent. all he'll get ordered with is visitation and child support.


and to the other person, yes he can. he can petition for a paternity test and establish he is the father. and then pursue visitation/child support. but he wont get custody unless OP is proven an unfit parent. courts favor the mother.

Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" He's not a dead beat. He works and financially supports his Son. Just because he doesn't do EVERYTHING you want him to, does not make him a deadbeat. After all, he is trying to get custody of him now."

Oh I guess I forgot to mention, that out of his paychecks, we don't get a dime. He hasn't purchased or contributed anything. What makes him a dead beat is him not doing ANYTHING.

It sounds like you are going through what I went through. Let him take you to court. When the baby is proven to be his they will immediately order child support. I am here if you need to talk...

Quoting wigglewaddle:" Meh, SO barely helped with DD when she was that little because he was working full time and I wasn't. ... [snip!] ... Which in the beginning I never saw him doing. Maybe give him a chance to grow up, it's a big adjustment. How old are you guys?"

He's 21 and I'm 19

Quoting wigglewaddle:" Meh, SO barely helped with DD when she was that little because he was working full time and I wasn't. ... [snip!] ... Which in the beginning I never saw him doing. Maybe give him a chance to grow up, it's a big adjustment. How old are you guys?"

This.

Most, from my understanding are kind of "scared" of the little baby. Once he grows up a little, he will get on the horse..you just need to teach him and be patient with him. It sounds like you guys are young as well? It could be the added stress.

Quoting Ellena's mommy:" It sounds like you are going through what I went through. Let him take you to court. When the baby is proven to be his they will immediately order child support. I am here if you need to talk..."

Thanks  

Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" He's not a dead beat. He works and financially supports his Son. Just because he doesn't do EVERYTHING you want him to, does not make him a deadbeat. After all, he is trying to get custody of him now."

If what she says is true *we dont have anything else to go off of so we have to assume it is* if he has barley held or done anything for his two month old son and only is on the computer around him then yah it does make him a dead beat.

Quoting responsibleturtles:" Oh I guess I forgot to mention, that out of his paychecks, we don't get a dime. He hasn't purchased or contributed anything. What makes him a dead beat is him not doing ANYTHING."

Was he living with you? Did you tell him how much you need or when?

If there is a problem with that, get a paternity test and file for child support. That's all you can do.

Another reason we broke up is because he came to my house blacked out drunk and I had to take care of him (while he threw up in my car and bed) and our child at the same time. He doesn't see how he was in the wrong for this either, because I took him to my moms and he drank a 1/4 bottle of rum by himself apparently.

Quoting Rette Mich:" If what she says is true *we dont have anything else to go off of so we have to assume it is* if he ... [snip!] ... held or done anything for his two month old son and only is on the computer around him then yah it does make him a dead beat."

She added later that he does not support him financially.


BUT if he had, since he works, he wouldn't be a dead beat. The baby is only 2 months old. Tons of men go to work all day and leave Mom home to care for babies. Hell tons of women per day rant about it on here. It doesn't make them dead beats. A dead beat would do nothing, absolutely nothing.

Which I NOW know he is, since she added that he does smurf all to support him.