Forums > Sex & RelationshipsPage 1 2 3 4by: Goodbye BG.

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posted 29th Nov

Quoting xONikki:" <blockquote>Quoting *B & D Mommy*:" He is probably just hurt at the thought ... [snip!] ... Hell he might not even be here for the birth of her! He chose to pack his smurf and move out when I was 35 weeks or so."

Yeah he is probably freaking out also about the fact the baby will be here soon! Imagine how scared you are, his is probably doubled lol. Just sit down and calmly talk to him about everything. If it isn't a huge deal tell him the last name can stay his last name or tell him how you really feel.

quote smurfs?

I have 2 kids & live in Illinois

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Derpy Hooves

20694 posts

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posted 29th Nov

Quoting xONikki:" <blockquote>Quoting *B & D Mommy*:" He is probably just hurt at the thought ... [snip!] ... Hell he might not even be here for the birth of her! He chose to pack his smurf and move out when I was 35 weeks or so."

I'd decline to give her his last name based on that. If he leaves it seems like you'd be just fine/better off without him. Do what you want though. Not what he or your parents want.

quote smurfs?

I have 1 child & live in Virginia

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Sloth. Bear. Pig.

24133 posts

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posted 29th Nov

Quoting Mama to William + 1:" Well, I mean, threatening to leave over that is pretty silly. But why in the world would the baby need ... [snip!] ... world would the baby need your last name to be on the insurance? Not that I'm an expert, but I've never heard of such a thing."

I agree with all of this. Last name shouldnt matter whatsoever.

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I have 2 kids & 2 angel babies & live in Arizona

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Mom2William&Michael

7458 posts

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posted 29th Nov

Quoting xONikki:" <blockquote>Quoting *B & D Mommy*:" He is probably just hurt at the thought ... [snip!] ... Hell he might not even be here for the birth of her! He chose to pack his smurf and move out when I was 35 weeks or so."

If you two end up going to court over visitation, it doesn't matter if the baby's last name is yours, his, or neither. That's not how anything is decided.

quote smurfs?

I have 2 kids & 1 angel baby & live in New York

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Alissa McKeighan

362 posts

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posted 29th Nov

I don't see how last name matters for insurance purposes. Sounds bogus to me. I can't blame your SO for having hurt feelings on the matter, honestly. I DO think that he is being immature by threatening to leave.

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I have 3 kids & live in Vermont

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Addi's Momma

3891 posts

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posted 29th Nov

I would be bothered that he doesn't want a good job and would rather work at Kmart. Sounds like he is taking the easy way out.

I asked DH if he would be upset about it.

DH said he would be upset if I had given DD my last name if we weren't married. He said he needed to mark his territory or some bs. He then went into a joke about how he married me so both DD and I could be marked so who knows the truth.

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I'm TTC since May '13, have 1 child & 1 angel baby & live in Florissant, Missouri

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¿ ¼ ¿

70049 posts

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posted 29th Nov

That's a pretty stupid reason to leave imo.

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I have 3 kids & live in Memphis, Tennessee

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Goodbye BG.

135 posts

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posted 29th Nov

Thanks! I mean I don't know anything about my fathers insurance other than they don't cover baby while in the womb(weird) but they covered me. But after baby is born they'll cover. So with that whole bs issue at the beginning I think my mom freaked and just brung it up to me. Which is understandable. I never once told him I was actually considering it but talked to his mom and she said it didn't matter so I left it alone after that! Til today when he brung it up... ):< I'm just too damn angry. He's had all of this time to find a job(A JOB TO SUPPORT HIS FAMILY) and he hasn't done much for that. He's had 3 interviews for Norfolk railroad that I put the apps in for but it never went anywhere other than the interview...

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I live in Alabama

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Lotusmama

1607 posts

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posted 29th Nov

---if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it! Sorry, that song just popped into my head

I don't know what to say... he sounds very immature. A name is just a name. He needs to learn to communicate better and not be such a drama queen. Ultimatums are a sign of a simple mind. Relationships require negotiation and compromise. He needs to help you sort out the insurance papers. Do you still live at home with your mom?

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I live in British Columbia

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Drunk Blair Waldorf

16719 posts

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posted 29th Nov

Okay but this isn't about whether or not her kid needs her last name for insurance purposes.

I think if he packed his smurf up at 35 weeks and walked out, is now threatening to leave if you don't give the baby his last name, and refuses to take a job that will support his family, you need to reevaluate your relationship big time. This dude has no interest in stepping up and taking care of his family and honestly it doesn't sound like he cares about you.

So I say give the baby your last name because it's hard to change down the road if this guy flakes out and it definitely sounds like he's going to flake out. I had to wait 5 years to prove that he hadn't been involved with my son for 5 years before they'd let me change his last name. :S It's easier to change it to your married name if you marry this dude later.

quote smurfs?

I have 2 kids & live in Alpharetta, Georgia

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Goodbye BG.

135 posts

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posted 29th Nov

<blockquote>Quoting Lotusmama:" ---if you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it! Sorry, that song just popped into my head ... [snip!] ... negotiation and compromise. He needs to help you sort out the insurance papers. Do you still live at home with your mom?"</blockquote>

I mean that's why I'm so pissed off is because he's seemed so immature through all of this, I do understand it hurt him but he wouldn't really give me time to explain anything. He just hung up. -.- I think he needs a huge eye opener and at this point I just want him to realize threatening a relationship NOW isn't a good idea. I want to be with him definitely, I want our family together.. That's why I haven't left his ass yet. I just think it's coming to an end unless he straightens up which I don't think is going to happen for awhile. Yes I live with my parents, which he's also angry with me about not moving out to his friends house with him. -.-

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I live in Alabama

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Mom2William&Michael

7458 posts

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posted 29th Nov

Quoting xONikki:" Thanks! I mean I don't know anything about my fathers insurance other than they don't cover baby while ... [snip!] ... He's had 3 interviews for Norfolk railroad that I put the apps in for but it never went anywhere other than the interview..."

Well if he went to the interviews and didn't get hired he can't do more than that unless he intentionally screwed them up.

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I have 2 kids & 1 angel baby & live in New York

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Sloth. Bear. Pig.

24133 posts

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posted 29th Nov

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" Okay but this isn't about whether or not her kid needs her last name for insurance purposes. I think ... [snip!] ... years before they'd let me change his last name. :S It's easier to change it to your married name if you marry this dude later."

Great advice.

quote

I have 2 kids & 2 angel babies & live in Arizona

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tinana+2online

27467 posts

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posted 29th Nov

Last name wouldn't matter unless of course you're trying to pass it off as your father's child Then they might be wondering where the other last name came from.

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I have 2 kids & live in New York

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*Mommy for life*

10124 posts

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posted 29th Nov

Quoting Blair Waldorf (SuperKink):" Okay but this isn't about whether or not her kid needs her last name for insurance purposes. I think ... [snip!] ... years before they'd let me change his last name. :S It's easier to change it to your married name if you marry this dude later."

Its easy to change it here 95$. They post it in the paper, if noone contests it then it gets changed. If someone does you have to see a judge but he sides with custodial parent 95% of the time even if the father/mother is around.

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