How do you

Or well did you, get over a divorce/separation that you never wanted?

I'm going through this, and even though... I don't want him back, ever,because of what he did.. I still do want him back... Does that make sense? No? I didn't think so.

Okay.. So I want what I THOUGHT he was back, not who HE REALLY IS back. There?

So any advice?

Yeah it does...you want the man you married back but not the one that hurts you!

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" Or well did you, get over a divorce/separation that you never wanted? I'm going through this, and even ... [snip!] ... No? I didn't think so. Okay.. So I want what I THOUGHT he was back, not who HE REALLY IS back. There? So any advice? "

yes. doing this right now. I want him back, but at the same time im so disgusted with him and idont want him back

Divorce brings out so many emotions. I remind myself of why I left him in the first place.

Quoting Mel & a girl named Pey:" Yeah it does...you want the man you married back but not the one that hurts you!"

It just hurts.. And I try to wrap my mind around what he's done, and kept doing, to kind of... Justify it I guess? And I just can't. And at the SAME time, I kind of want to stab him in the face with a dull object, repeatedly. The emotions I feel are pretty all over the place.

i get what you're saying, though i don't really know how to tell you to get over it. i guess your first step is the realization that who he ACTUALLY is is not who you THOUGHT he was. i guess i would say to cling to that and keep it in the forefront of your mind. i would hope that knowing the reality would help in healing the unrealistic wishes of the heart, but i know that's not always the case. it's all i've got, though. good luck to you!

Quoting It's Delivered:" Divorce brings out so many emotions. I remind myself of why I left him in the first place."

See, I feel like it would be easier if it was ME who left. Like IF I told HIM on Thanksgiving, " Hey douche smurfer! Get out...." Instead of the other way around.

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" See, I feel like it would be easier if it was ME who left. Like IF I told HIM on Thanksgiving, " Hey douche smurfer! Get out...." Instead of the other way around. "

It's never easy being the one who was left. I know it's hard mama. Just pick up the pieces and know there is someone out there for you who will treat you how you deserve,

Quoting Noahs Mommy =]:" yes. doing this right now. I want him back, but at the same time im so disgusted with him and idont want him back "

Mind if I ask what he did?

Quoting MommaNoodle:" i get what you're saying, though i don't really know how to tell you to get over it. i guess your first ... [snip!] ... the unrealistic wishes of the heart, but i know that's not always the case. it's all i've got, though. good luck to you!"

I think I need counseling.. Because it's been going on for 5 years... And for 5 years, I excused his behavior, and kind of sucked it up and took "one for the team"... But... I have horrible co-dependency issues as it is. I know me wanting him to change is extremely unrealistic, but I feel like then I'm giving up on someone who... Idk... I don't want to disappoint people? Like my family and kids?

Idfk how to put it. This is how my minds thinking and on paper, it looks illogical and jumbled.

Quoting It's Delivered:" It's never easy being the one who was left. I know it's hard mama. Just pick up the pieces and know there is someone out there for you who will treat you how you deserve, "

Thank you.

Is it normal to want to make rash decisions? Like.. Go get my tubes tied, and never want to get married again? Smurf like that?

Is it normal to want to go like.... I know this is going to sound slutty, but go out and just have sex with random people? I really feel like I shouldn't be saying/thinking these things lol.

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" I think I need counseling.. Because it's been going on for 5 years... And for 5 years, I excused his ... [snip!] ... Like my family and kids? Idfk how to put it. This is how my minds thinking and on paper, it looks illogical and jumbled. "

well, if you really feel like you need counseling, i would never be one to say not to go. it's usually helpful to have an unbiased fresh perspective on things like this. but, at the same time, i also think a lot of this will get better over time. sounds cliche and all that, but.... it does happen. at first, your feelings are gonna be all jumbled and not make sense. you're still processing it all.

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" Thank you. Is it normal to want to make rash decisions? Like.. Go get my tubes tied, and never want ... [snip!] ... slutty, but go out and just have sex with random people? I really feel like I shouldn't be saying/thinking these things lol."

Totally normal in my opinion, I filed for divorce today.. the whole time I am thinking WAIT maybe I can forgive him for my unborn childs sake. Maybe we need therapy. MAYBE he is telling the truth THIS time and he wont lie and cheat and hurt me.. THEN I go home and I start writing down all the things he did that hurt and how time after time I go through this. I think its harder for me just cause I am pregnant and hormonal BUT I in my heart still struggle with this a ton and have the same feeling you do. Maybe I need help as well. lol

Quoting DaniKayT:" Totally normal in my opinion, I filed for divorce today.. the whole time I am thinking WAIT maybe I ... [snip!] ... and hormonal BUT I in my heart still struggle with this a ton and have the same feeling you do. Maybe I need help as well. lol"

It sucks. All I want to do is for him to come home and tell me everythings going to be alright. But I know it's not. I've heard that line more times in 5 years, then in my whole life.

I'm sorry you are going through this. <3

Quoting MommaNoodle:" well, if you really feel like you need counseling, i would never be one to say not to go. it's usually ... [snip!] ... but.... it does happen. at first, your feelings are gonna be all jumbled and not make sense. you're still processing it all. "

Thank you. I need to go, I know I do. Even just to get to the root of my co-dependency issues. Because I haz them.