Worried about language development

I am growing concerned about Payton. She will be 3 in January.

Here are a few things:

- before 1 year, she could count to 5 [but didn't really know what numbers meant] and name a few facial parts, say hi, bye-bye and thank you
- by 18 months, she was counting to 10 and recognizing that they were words to count objects. If you held up 3 fingers she would say "thwee", 5 then "bive", etc
- by 2 years she could ask for water by saying "wwaah??"
- she can now count to 15, and identifies cats as "kitty" and knows how to say most capital letters when looking at them
- when I say "diaper change!" she lays down with her feet toward at me, and she knows "go pee pee" is to sit on her potty
- she knows what "go bye bye" means, and what "kiss" means, also learned the Korean word for kiss from her grandmother
- she runs up and says HI real loud to everyone



She has never referred to either of us as "mommy" or "daddy". She has no word for any of us. The only thing she can ask for is water. [edit: just remembered she says "ah?" "num?" or "nummy?" when she sees something she wants to eat, but water is the only thing she asks for without first seeing it] She doesn't have many words beyond that for physical objects that are not body parts and still babbles incoherently 99% of the time she speaks. I'm worried that my own sparse speech is hurting her development, but often when I try to talk to her it's like my mouth is wired shut. I'm starting to feel like an smurf because I'm often silent even when playing or cuddling with her. And the more I try to force it the worse I feel.

I can speak at length when there is a specific point to be made, but I've never been one to chatter aimlessly, make small talk, stuff like that. I want literature to be very important to her so I try hard to read to her regularly, but it's stuff like Grimm's Fairy Tales or Aesop's Fables or Harry Potter because reading those out loud makes me feel only slightly less stupid and awkward than reading toddler books. It's fun sometimes, though it often feels like an odious chore, but I make myself keep doing it anyway.

We recently got her a Leaptop and she has been picking up words from it fairly quickly, so that makes me hopeful. I don't know if she understands most of them yet though.

I need suggestions for other things to try, please. The real problem is me and not her, I'm afraid.

Don't beat yourself up so much. Have you thought about letting her watch educational shows on tv or a laptop? Every child develops at a different rate and maybe she is not going to be a big talker either.

Those book are great, I read them tommy kids too. But, toddler books and board books are actually great tools to help them build their vocabulary. Inwould try mix a good amount of books more her age oriented. Her vocabulary is really very limited for her age.
Also, I was never much of a talker but I made myself talk to the kids because that's how they learn. Just talk to her about the things around her in her environment and definitely get her to know who you are. Communication is important if she ever gets lost or something she needs to be able to say that she is hurt, or lost, or can't find mommy etc.
My nephew had very limited vocabulary at 3 so his doctor suggested my brother and sister inlaw have a speech therapist come to the house three times a week and work with him. It has helped tremendously. By the time he was four he could hold an entire conversation with you and now he'll be 5 in April and you almost can't even tell anymore that he had a speech delay. Sonthat might b something to bring up wih her doctor.

youngest child is 20 mos. old today & this is exactly him- I know younger than your child. Josh, will be 2 in March , and in my experience should be talking more than he does. It starts w/ a hearing exam then I requested first steps comeout, they specialize in these types of things and offer services for the child if needed. They I can not see him Dec 11th and can't wait. He also, is being evaluated because he shows sign/concern of possibly having Sensory processing Disorder- he loves to bang his head and acts as if it does not really hurt him.. Gl. and hope you get to the bottom of it soon!!

Quoting Barnett Babies:" youngest child is 20 mos. old today & this is exactly him- I know younger than your child. Josh, ... [snip!] ... he loves to bang his head and acts as if it does not really hurt him.. Gl. and hope you get to the bottom of it soon!!"

* they are seeing him Dec 11th. You too can ask her pediatrician for a referral of agency 's that specialize in these types of things and/or Ask if your child may also see a Developmental pediatrician..

Quoting FutureMommyof2:" Don't beat yourself up so much. Have you thought about letting her watch educational shows on tv or a ... [snip!] ... shows on tv or a laptop? Every child develops at a different rate and maybe she is not going to be a big talker either."

I let her watch a few shows, Backyardigans, Mickey Mouse Playhouse, Special Agent Oso and Sesame Street

I did think for a while that maybe she would sort of be like me, but I don't want her to be like me, I wasn't born this way, I was made this way and don't want the cycle to continue. I kept it to myself for months, hoping that it was no big deal and in the end she would catch up, but then DH started voicing concerns as well as his parents.

Quoting MommaSav2:" Those book are great, I read them tommy kids too. But, toddler books and board books are actually great ... [snip!] ... April and you almost can't even tell anymore that he had a speech delay. Sonthat might b something to bring up wih her doctor."

Just talk to her about the things around her in her environment and definitely get her to know who you are.

I know that is very important and that is exactly where I fail most.  

Have you thought about using a speech therapist for her? That would be a big help.
Also, a suggestion would be to refer to yourself and her dad as "mommy" and "daddy". Instead of saying "I love you" say "mommy loves you", etc. Hopefully she'll catch on. And I know those toddler books can be tedious, but they really are great for them. Yes, her speech is limited for her age, but there are definitely things you can do to get her on track. And please don't blame yourself. It's definitely not your fault.

YOur kid has no problems with language.

DD is 20 mo.

All she says is:
"hi" "Bye" (Sometimes) "Hi baby" "moh" (For more. She used to anyway, now she says Beesha for more, which I have no idea. She signs) "Booh" or "Byaa" (For book. She hasn't said it in a long time) "uh-oh", "Keee" (kitty) and "Yay!"

She has never said mom, dad or anything like that ever. To be honest, she has no reason to really address us like that because she can get our attention other ways.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Leisurely Duchess:</b>" Just talk to her about the things around her in her environment and definitely get her to know who you are. I know that is very important and that is exactly where I fail most.  "</blockquote>




Have you thought about preschool a couple mornings a week. If being able to talk to her is an area that you happen to have weakness, it might not be a bad idea to to think about giving her access to people who will literally talk to her non stop while she is there. Kwim?

My son had a really broad vocabulary from an early but when I was pregnant with my daughter i was always nauseous so we had him in preschool for the duration of my pregnancy just for two mornings a week. And even though he started with a pretty good vocabulary, talking to all the other kids and teachers helped to expand it even more. And again, speech Therapy works amazingly.

Quoting Squid Kid:" YOur kid has no problems with language. DD is 20 mo. All she says is: "hi" "Bye" (Sometimes) "Hi baby" ... [snip!] ... like that ever. To be honest, she has no reason to really address us like that because she can get our attention other ways."

No offense please- How are you certain that is has nothing to do with a Developmental issue ?? My youngest is 20 mos. also He does say a few single words and this is rather new to me and am very concerned!

Quoting Barnett Babies:" No offense please- How are you certain that is has nothing to do with a Developmental issue ?? My youngest ... [snip!] ... issue ?? My youngest is 20 mos. also He does say a few single words and this is rather new to me and am very concerned!"

She has absolutely no development issues. She's not autistic just because she expresses herself in other ways or isn't as verbal as other children.

Thank you guys for suggestions, really.

Preschool is definitely one I'll look into, I'm sure that will be a big help if we can find a way to afford it. I know there are low income programs to help cover preschool so I'll look those up. Feel dumb for not thinking of it sooner.  

We walk a fine line financially, we fall into some cracks here and there, been fighting to have her covered under Medi-Cal or at least have her covered for vaccination and emergency visits, her medical insurance has been hanging in the balance since last year. We already planned to ask the doc a few things next time we take her for shots.

As for the toddler books, I've already tried at length and spent a bunch of money on them, you can be sure I'll be talking to DH about him doing some reading since he is much more adept at socializing with her.

This has been a bigger help than you realize  

Quoting Squid Kid:" YOur kid has no problems with language. DD is 20 mo. All she says is: "hi" "Bye" (Sometimes) "Hi baby" ... [snip!] ... like that ever. To be honest, she has no reason to really address us like that because she can get our attention other ways."

Like I said the problem is me, not her, and I just don't want the issue to get any worse. I have auditory processing disorder and it's compounded by how I was raised. My speech is depressed, I could happily go a whole day without saying a word to anyone unless there is a pertinent issue. Occasionally, it's so bad that when when asked a simple question, I have trouble forcing words out of my mouth and enunciating them so that I am not misunderstood.

That's why this topic is troubling me so much