Quoting Angel [Mariah's Mommy]:" I have tried, without being pushy, and she won't budge. She's so much like me that a lot of times it ... [snip!] ... be that she stated it matter of factly, but it still scares me. I've been running through all of the what-ifs because of it. "
Trust that she will be fine. I wouldn't worry too much until you see very odd behavior changes. She is young and very emotionaly vested in those around her. She will come out with it when she is ready. Until then, go about a daily routine and aknowledge her requests to talk or not talk. She will talk when she is ready. Maybe you could do a mommy/ daughter spa date. After you are done getting fingers and toes painted, go have ice cream or hot cocoa somewhere and just let her roll with it. I do that with Olivia often.
My girls are twins and I have a 2yr old boy. Victoria is type A personality so when she wants something she has no problem asserting herself. Anthony is 2 and in the "get down, don't run, put that down!" phase of boy crazy so he comands a lot of attention as well. Olivia is Type B personality so she will often get "left behind". She will tend to get withdrawn and her mood starts to shift. When it has been too long (I really try not to let it get to this point) since she has had one on one attention she will look like she is ready to cry at any moment. ANYWAY, I tell you this because when I take her to our mommy/ livy coffee date, she opens up about EVERYTHING. It can be about a story they read at school to her wishing for more time with me or her dad and even about her beinf afraid I won't come home the next time I go to the Dr. I listen a lot and when she shows her fears of something or insecurities, I take that moment to reassure her and let her know that I will always be there. Not only does it serve the purpose of giving her the attention she needs as a 4yr old but, it opens up the doors for later in life when the more serious issues come up. Tori will flap her gums anywhere for any reason. I do give her some one on one time but, she has a much different personality than her sister and she is not afraid to out it infront of anyone where her sister is. Try to make something like this a routine. Like I said, it will help further down the road but for the short term, it will help remind her of "happy" and let her know you are always there for anything. Well, it is also a fun "tradition" type thing to start.