Are there ANY boundries? :/

Almost all, if not all, men masturbate. My boyfriend is a man. This is kinda obvious. It bothers me, but I don't say anything and just let it go. Nothing I can do about it, and he'll probably just tell me he'll stop and do it anyway. So it's kinda pointless. Sometimes I'll come sit in the bathroom while he showers and chit chat with him if Alek's taking his morning nap. It's one of the few times it's just me and him and I enjoy being able to spend a little time with him. Sometimes he'll even ask me to come talk to him while he showers.

Well last night, he told me that he's masturbated WHILE I WAS IN THE BATHROOM. More than once. This might not bother most people, but personally, it makes me sick to my stomach. I think it's disrespectful and disgusting. I don't do that anymore, but if I did, I sure as hell wouldn't be doing it when he is so close and talking to me! We do mutual masturbation sometimes, but at least then I'm INCLUDED. This is more like I'm an extra on the scene and it feels so wrong to me.

And he thinks it's perfectly okay. Am I the only one who finds this disturbing?

When I used to use a vibrator, he HATED it. It was a long time ago and I brought myself to stop because of how he felt. I asked him how he would feel if I used something (he hates objects, only my hands are okay with him) with him on the other side of the curtain and he said it would bother him. So why is this alright for him?

Also, he masterbates WAY more often than we have any sexual exchanges. I realize it's hard with a baby to just do stuff whenever, where ever. But he doesn't even pursue me anymore! If I ask, great. If not, he'll just masterbate every day, sometimes multiples times during the day. I feel like he has two sex lives. One, with himself. And ours, which is steadily decreasing. It's so upsetting. :/

I don't find t wrong. Why don't you just offer 4 play?..or have sex.

I think the only thing that would bother me would be him masterbating so much and not pursuing you. At least he's not at the computer watching porn all the time getting the keys sticky.
Tell him how you feel, or just jump him every once in a while.

Quoting OhSoFKN Fabulous:" I don't find t wrong. Why don't you just offer 4 play?..or have sex."

  if baby was sleeping I woulda just hopped in the shower with him lol.

If he's masturbating so much that he's not interested in sex with you anymore, then I would consider it a problem. Otherwise, it's harmless. I would leave the guy alone while he's in the shower, that's probably the only time he gets to himself. I know that's how I feel about my shower time.

Maybe he likes his hand because its not controlling the smurf out of his every move.

For starters, let the man shower alone, you aren't a child, give him some space. Don't be that girl.

Secondly, let him touch his own penis, he's not hurting anyone.

You sound unstable.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Curlyheadedfck:</b>"   if baby was sleeping I woulda just hopped in the shower with him lol."</blockquote>




Right! For me shower sex is tricky lol..but we make it work.

Well technically he is using his own hands, and not a vibrator... so it's not really a double standard. The only time it's ever pissed me off that SO was doing that was when I asked to have sex and he turned me down to do himself (lol) or if we're suppose to be somewhere and he's taking too long of a shower (if you know what I mean).

I don't know what you specifically find disgusting about it? At least he's in the shower so there's less mess.

We do, but it has to go around my son's schedule. I can't get up and have sex whenever, even if I want to. My son is 7 months old so a lot of the time, he's up.

And he goes and does it in the morning, when I CAN'T offer anything, because my son has just woken up.

I know a lot of people see nothing wrong with masterbation and I'm forced to accept that even though I feel it really has wrecked our sex lives as we are rarely intimate anymore. But I think there should be a line that should not be crossed. Such as, don't do it around me, especially if you know it bothers me. If you wanna go jerk off in the shower, DO NOT ask me to come in there and keep you company. It's weird, because I'm not involved, yet he wants me to be present. Just disgusting. If it was mutual, okay. If I even KNEW about it and it was supposed to be some kind of turn on or something, alright. But he's calling me in there and being sneaky while I'm having a conversation with him. That, to me, is crossing the line.

I don't see a prob with that.
But umm... Kid is sleeping? Get naked, get in the shower with him, and take care of it for him!!!

<blockquote><b>Quoting Legendary Amanda:</b>" Maybe he likes his hand because its not controlling the smurf out of his every move. For starters, let ... [snip!] ... give him some space. Don't be that girl. Secondly, let him touch his own penis, he's not hurting anyone. You sound unstable."</blockquote>




!!!

I don't really see a problem here other than he thinks he has a say about how you pleasure yourself. That is bullsmurf. And I wouldn't e disturbed my husband masturbating while I'm in room, but I would rather just get in the shower with with him.
If it bothers you, ask him not to do it while you're in the room, or just ask you to come in with him.

Quoting OhSoFKN Fabulous:" I don't find t wrong. Why don't you just offer 4 play?..or have sex."

{probably because of this? Right here?

"Also, he masterbates WAY more often than we have any sexual exchanges. I realize it's hard with a baby to just do stuff whenever, where ever. But he doesn't even pursue me anymore!"

I say get yourself a nice new buddy and make sure to leave it out every time you know he's masturbated. Maybe if he gets bugged by it every time HE is doing it because he thinks you are, he'll understand your side of it and be more considerate. Sometimes talking to these idiots just doesn't work.

Quoting Legendary Amanda:" Maybe he likes his hand because its not controlling the smurf out of his every move. For starters, let ... [snip!] ... give him some space. Don't be that girl. Secondly, let him touch his own penis, he's not hurting anyone. You sound unstable."

  

This. OP, you're having sex when you ask, maybe he doesn't want to bother you knowing you may be tired from caring for the baby and whatnot. It's his penis, just like you have your own clit. If you're not satisfied, then rub one out yourself. If you are, then what's the problem here? At least he's not pestering you 3 times a day.

Did you miss the part where he ASKS me to come in there and talk to him while he showers? o.o