So Sick of it -vent-

Please do not quote

I usually don't post about problems like this but I've smurfing had it!
I'm so sick of going to bed at night and being yelled at for random smurf. SO wonders why I don't come to bed until super late and always want to put LO between us. Because he's an smurf. I came to bed tonight and as usual he starts talking and being a dick. Tells me that my older daughter who is 9 (not his) is not being a good sister because she doesn't want to keep an eye on LO when I ask. I tell him she doesn't have to as she's not the one who had a baby. Also he's mad because she (jokingly) told the baby to shut up when she was crying. Again, she is 9. Of course I stick up for my daughter. He then tells me I do more for my 9 year old than LO which isn't true since LO requires more care and I'm EBF. Also says I'm a smurffy mom, he can't stand me, he hates me, he feels bad for LO for having me as a mom. I do everything for her and I take care of her 95% of the time. When he says this shut to me, I've learned to not say anything back. I don't want him to think he's getting to me. But it does hurt. I'm so disgusted by him that I took LO and am now on my 9 year old's bottom bunk with LO.
He does this often then usually the next day will apologize and use the excuse that he was grumpy and tired at the time. I'm so over it but don't know what to do! I don't know how someone can turn from being a good hearted kind person to a total smurf.

Thats emotional abuse, and you should consider leaving, for the mental health of not just you, but your daughters. He obviously resents DD 1, and who knows what smurf he says the her when you aren't around?

And why are you still with him? I would have been out the door a long time ago..

That's not someone I'd want around either of my children. Perhaps it's because I was a stepchild who was a abused (I'm not saying he abuses your daughter in the way that I was) but I could never have my child around someone who thought of them like that. It isn't good for you or your well being and it isn't good to have that said around your child, even if they aren't old enough to understand it.
I would seriously be looking to leave unless he makes some very big changes. It isn't good for you or for either of your children.

Quoting Chelsea Dawns Mama:" Thats emotional abuse, and you should consider leaving, for the mental health of not just you, but your ... [snip!] ... of not just you, but your daughters. He obviously resents DD 1, and who knows what smurf he says the her when you aren't around?"

true....

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chelsea Dawns Mama:</b>" Thats emotional abuse, and you should consider leaving, for the mental health of not just you, but your ... [snip!] ... of not just you, but your daughters. He obviously resents DD 1, and who knows what smurf he says the her when you aren't around?"</blockquote>


I know. It just baffles me because he used to be the sweetest most caring guy. I don't give a smurf if you're half asleep, you shouldn't talk to someone like that. I can't take this constant up and down. I feel like the only way this could even MAYBE work is therapy.

Quoting Serial Mom ✄:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Chelsea Dawns Mama:</b>" Thats emotional abuse, and you should ... [snip!] ... to someone like that. I can't take this constant up and down. I feel like the only way this could even MAYBE work is therapy."

People change. Was it like this BEFORE #2? If not, maybe the responsibility changed him, some people aren't cut out to be parents. And if you can't take it, you need to move on and away from him.

Quoting Serial Mom ✄:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Chelsea Dawns Mama:</b>" Thats emotional abuse, and you should ... [snip!] ... to someone like that. I can't take this constant up and down. I feel like the only way this could even MAYBE work is therapy."

Bring therapy up with him and don't just take him apologizing and forget about the therapy.. it sounds like you need to do that or get out of that situation that's not fair to you or either of your daughters... best of luck  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mama to William + 1:</b>" That's not someone I'd want around either of my children. Perhaps it's because I was a stepchild who ... [snip!] ... seriously be looking to leave unless he makes some very big changes. It isn't good for you or for either of your children."</blockquote>

Please don't quote

It's such a struggle. I will not stand for someone treating my girls poorly.
When we first got together he tried so hard to be a father to her. He did everything for her. He was the one who taught her how to ride a bike. She kept pushing him away. She would say (in front of him) that she doesn't like him, call him names, etc. If I ask her to go somewhere, she will say "only if David doesn't go" right in front of him. They were never alone together so I know there's no abuse. She's resentful for the fact that her dad isn't around and LO's is. And that's understandable and normal. After her saying/doing this for so long, it's gotten to him. But my daughters come first. Ugh, we need therapy.

Yea, that is only going to get worse as she gets older & picks up more on his nastiness...

Quoting Serial Mom ✄:"

He needs to be the adult and understand she is a child, and doesn't mean it. He's being cruel, but i can see how he could be hurting.

Thank you for your advice everyone. I need a Xanax. I'm going to try to get some sleep and reply in the morning. Goodnight.
 

Quoting Serial Mom ✄:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Mama to William + 1:</b>" That's not someone I'd want around ... [snip!] ... and normal. After her saying/doing this for so long, it's gotten to him. But my daughters come first. Ugh, we need therapy."

If you can manage some sort of family session, I think it would help. It's understandable why she would be upset and resentful and I imagine that that would bother him, too. But he really needs to be an adult and realize what she's going through.
Good luck.

Quoting Chelsea Dawns Mama:" Thats emotional abuse, and you should consider leaving, for the mental health of not just you, but your ... [snip!] ... of not just you, but your daughters. He obviously resents DD 1, and who knows what smurf he says the her when you aren't around?"

   Thats what i was thing

get out of there, thats is not a healthy relationship at all.