When do you know

That its time to give up? If there was no effort, time or emotion being put into the relationship by the other person? Would you wait and see if things got back to "normal" or would you just try to move on?

Have you tried talking about it? If there's no effort, time, and emotion and talking doesn't help anything then I'd say it's time to leave.

Watching...

<blockquote><b>Quoting martinez♥:</b>" Have you tried talking about it? If there's no effort, time, and emotion and talking doesn't help anything then I'd say it's time to leave."</blockquote>


Yeah... He tells me I'm being "crazy"

He won't acknowledge that anything is different between us... And it has been for weeks now.

Quoting A&J. ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting martinez♥:</b>" Have you tried talking about it? If there's ... [snip!] ... He tells me I'm being "crazy" He won't acknowledge that anything is different between us... And it has been for weeks now."

DH and I went through a situation like that recently. Since like last year he was totally aloof. It actually felt like whenever I tried to be sweet or loving or anything it was annoying so I just started shutting down. Then in March I talked to him and I gave him my wedding ring and told him I was done, that I just couldn't take it. I loved him but I didn't want to be in a relationship like this. I was gone for a few days but it really broke him and made him realize I was serious. He started going to church for the first time in his life and asked me to go to counseling with him (when I'd asked him countless times before and he'd flat out refused and told me how dumb I was being, that we weren't dating anymore and things were obviously going to be different). We got back together in April and since then he's really changed. If he starts acting aloof again all I have to do is sit and tell him.

I feel like if you've tried talking, what else can you do? Either accept things the way they are and learn to adjust or you leave and find happiness however you can. I'm not the kind of person who can settle for an unhappy marriage.

Did you actually leave when you gave your ring back? Or stay in the house?

Quoting Noahs Mommy =]:" Did you actually leave when you gave your ring back? Or stay in the house? "

I left. My stuff was still at the house but I left the house and went to stay with my mom. The house is in my name, but we have 2 daughters (one with me and one of my stepdaughters) and I was worried about them being separated or him and my stepdaughter being in the streets so I told them that I would find somewhere to go and until I did to keep my daughter with him. I only took what I needed immediately.

Quoting martinez♥:" I left. My stuff was still at the house but I left the house and went to stay with my mom. The house ... [snip!] ... them that I would find somewhere to go and until I did to keep my daughter with him. I only took what I needed immediately."

Kinda going through the same thing.. And totally lost on what to do

Quoting Noahs Mommy =]:" Kinda going through the same thing.. And totally lost on what to do "

It really sucks so I'm very sorry to hear that.   My main thing is that if you can solve things by talking or go to counseling without going to extremes you should. In my case I talked to my BIL, my own family, and even him and I just couldn't find a solution. Nothing I tried was working and so I just gave up. I think men sometimes need to realize they've lost or are losing something before they wake up enough to change or fight. And if you leave and he doesn't change at all or attempt to fix things, I think that should speak for itself right?