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I understand what your going through is the same thing i am and same with my mum, she tells me to write down how i feel or find someone who you can share all your problems with, I dont know if your the same but i have become really paranoid about everyone and find it hard to trust anyone? I dont think its something to be worried about but at the same time dont hold anything back or in because it only make things worse  

Quoting Catherine Farrington:" I understand what your going through is the same thing i am and same with my mum, she tells me to write ... [snip!] ... think its something to be worried about but at the same time dont hold anything back or in because it only make things worse  "

I don't even know when it started...
I spoke to SO about it today, and he doesn't really get it.. but I'm going to talk to him about making me leave the house more often, even if it's just for a walk or something. I hate being this way, I used to be the life of the party.. now I feel like I don't have any friends because I feel uncomfortable being around people and I never know what to say. And I let people get away with the smurffy things they do because I'm too unsure of myself to say anything to them. It sucks  

I totally understand what you mean, most of my social interactions these days are so awkward  

Quoting Elliot Reid:" I totally understand what you mean, most of my social interactions these days are so awkward  "

We never used to be like that, even as awkward teens   theres gotta be a way to fix it!

Quoting ℐ+ℳ=£:" We never used to be like that, even as awkward teens   theres gotta be a way to fix it!"

You would think! I have panic attacks sometimes too, my doc said the only solution is anti depressants... um, no. Im not into that. Thats why I live on the internet lol

Quoting Elliot Reid:" You would think! I have panic attacks sometimes too, my doc said the only solution is anti depressants... um, no. Im not into that. Thats why I live on the internet lol"

Wow your doctor sounds like an idiot. they hand that smurf out like lollies  

I took myself off anti depressants years ago.. I was okay up until sometime last year. I can't pinpoint exactly when it started getting bad, I just know I'm a complete hermit now. I barely leave my bedroom   I was using the "I've just had a baby" excuse but can't do that anymore, he's a month old. I don't want him to grow up stuck in this house because I don't wanna leave  

Quoting ℐ+ℳ=£:" Wow your doctor sounds like an idiot. they hand that smurf out like lollies   I took myself off anti ... [snip!] ... but can't do that anymore, he's a month old. I don't want him to grow up stuck in this house because I don't wanna leave  "

Yeah, he is, but im too lazy to switch doctors lol.

Have you tried joining a playgroup or something? We go to one through plunket once a week and I dont really like it but Lils loves it and it gets us out of the house lol.

Quoting Elliot Reid:" Yeah, he is, but im too lazy to switch doctors lol. Have you tried joining a playgroup or something? ... [snip!] ... We go to one through plunket once a week and I dont really like it but Lils loves it and it gets us out of the house lol."

Well, I contemplated it.. Haven't sorted anything yet. I know a few people that go to playgroups around here and I'm part of a few "mummy" pages on fb so it wouldn't be too hard to find one. But it just seems so.. blergh. Exposing L to all those germs and snotty children. And I'd have to.. see people.
AND DO STUFF.
I don't think I'm ready for that yet ;)

Quoting ℐ+ℳ=£:" Well, I contemplated it.. Haven't sorted anything yet. I know a few people that go to playgroups around ... [snip!] ... L to all those germs and snotty children. And I'd have to.. see people. AND DO STUFF. I don't think I'm ready for that yet ;)"

Haha, totally know what you mean. I also hate it because I hate seeing all the mums, even the ones with babies younger then me, and they've lost all their baby weight, and they're looking good, it makes me hate myself just a little bit more lol

Quoting Elliot Reid:" Haha, totally know what you mean. I also hate it because I hate seeing all the mums, even the ones with ... [snip!] ... then me, and they've lost all their baby weight, and they're looking good, it makes me hate myself just a little bit more lol"

Silence you, you look great!!
I just hate socialising and meeting new people at the moment. hopefully that changes soon lol.

Quoting ℐ+ℳ=£:" Silence you, you look great!! I just hate socialising and meeting new people at the moment. hopefully that changes soon lol."

It will, your desire to talk with adults will outweigh the awkwardness!

And nooo, im a size 14/16nz, im really trying to lose weight but it doesnt help when my heart starts playing up. I know im chubby, but I wouldnt say im a big fat mama or anything, but K is constantly taking digs at my weight, like tonight we went for a walk after he finished work, and we ran into a girl from my work who had her baby just last week, well she looks like she has never had a baby or seen a smurfing carb, afterwards I said to K she looks good, he goes yeah lucky for some. It really takes a toll on my self esteem, I dont want to leave the house because im worried everyone will think woah look at that fatty, and I dont feel comfortable around K at all. I cant even get dressed if he's looking. It cuts me really deep, I always say to him fine ill just go find someone who loves me for who I am and he goes you wont, looks are everything these days, good luck.

Sorry, totally just hijacked your post  

Quoting Elliot Reid:" It will, your desire to talk with adults will outweigh the awkwardness! And nooo, im a size 14/16nz, ... [snip!] ... me for who I am and he goes you wont, looks are everything these days, good luck. Sorry, totally just hijacked your post  "

What an absolute smurfing douchenugget!!! Start taking shots at the length of his penis/his technique in bed, he smurfin deserves it.
Thing is though hun, you don't LOOK overweight. Not in the pictures I've seen anyway. And your health comes first, don't push yourself too hard if it's gonna affect your heart. L needs a healthy Mama.
But your completely right, there is some weight you should lose - however many kg's K weighs, lose that and you'll feel fantastic again ;)
I know how you feel with the body image issues, I used to have them something wicked. I got super lucky with L, no stretchmarks and I already fit all my pre-pregnancy clothes (well I never stopped wearing them, just the jeans coz I couldn't close them, everything else I still fit) and I'm so thankful for that, coz I already feel like I look the same as I always did. If I didn't I'd be right back where I started.
You're beautiful for you missy, and DONT let that jackass you're lugging around tell you any different. He sounds like an emotionally abusive dickwad. He's smurfing lucky someone like you has stuck around for all the smurf he's thrown at you. <3

<3 thanks Hun, I'm really trying so hopefully I start seeing results soon. And you will want to be around people again, I think it's just a new mummy thing where you get so absorbed in your new role the outside world seems weird

Quoting Elliot Reid:" <3 thanks Hun, I'm really trying so hopefully I start seeing results soon. And you will want to be ... [snip!] ... people again, I think it's just a new mummy thing where you get so absorbed in your new role the outside world seems weird"

It really does. And I'm paranoid about him getting some godawful bug and being a nightmare for weeks lol people are so germy  
Just go easy on yourself, K? Don't push too hard