Quoting wannaknow:" Ahh I see. I was thinking they made my SIL apply, but he was on the birth certificate, so I guess it is different in that case."

I changed what you replied to anyway.  

<blockquote><b>Quoting Michael Westen:</b>" I think that's what I would do. I mean as long as he either bought her clothes/school supplies/etc or sent me money as needed to split that, that's what I would do."</blockquote>


Yeah. I got lucky. He's a great dad, and no matter what we were going through he still supported our lo, and that's all I can ask for.

My sil and her Dh are going through the cs thing with his ex right now, and they had to move out of their house because with the amount of child support he's ordered to pay they can't afford that house anymore.. Idk maybe I'm a softy, but I couldn't do that to 4 other kids.

Quoting Olive ♥:" I refuse to go for child support. If BD would just disappear forever, I would be more than thrilled."

Id be in a similar state. I wouldn't go for it. My biggest reasoning is because he isn't on her BC. If I went for it, they would put him on the BC. Because he isn't on it, I have the upperhand with her. Which is ultimately what I want.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Michael Westen:</b>" Not if he's not on the BC like in my situation.   And that's state by state anyway. He has another kid to raise. I'm not gonna put a hardship on him."</blockquote>


It doesn't matter, my BD isn't on the birth certificate and they made me file for him. If I said I didn't ennui tree who the dad was they would have made me track down the possible fathers before giving me assistance.

Quoting Michael Westen:" I wouldn't ever. Only because I know he would have to pay me $800/month. He used to have to pay his ex wife CS and we couldn't make it because of that. SO i would never do that to him again."

I am in a situation like this & because of it I agree with you. I would probably try my best to do a 50/50 custody (providing we are located in the same town). I would then find no need for child support.

Quoting dat uterus tho:" It depends on more factors than just my finances."

This.

I'd rather not. I'm happy the way things have worked out for us. Sperm Donor has NOT been in the picture for even one day in DD's life. I don't want to have anything to do with that man. DH is DD's father as far as she's concerned. If someday she wants to know what happened there I won't hide anything from her. Until then Im happy with the way things are.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Michael Westen:</b>" Id be in a similar state. I wouldn't go for it. My biggest reasoning is because he isn't on her BC. ... [snip!] ... for it, they would put him on the BC. Because he isn't on it, I have the upperhand with her. Which is ultimately what I want."</blockquote>



I got awarded child support and he didn't get visitation and he's still not on the BC  

Quoting [♥]Mrs. Morgan:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Michael Westen:</b>" I think that's what I would do. I mean ... [snip!] ... he's ordered to pay they can't afford that house anymore.. Idk maybe I'm a softy, but I couldn't do that to 4 other kids."

Well DH has another kid. I know what it's like. The amount that he had to pay his ex, we seriously had zero gas money, we had to walk to his moms a lot to even eat becasue we couldn't afford groceries. And because he makes a ton more than I would, he would have to pay an unreasonable amount.

When he was paying his ex, he paid her a bit over $800/month. You can't tell me that any 3 year old costs that much/month. Actually, you can't tell me that any 3 year old would cost $1600/month since CS is supposed to be half of the support.

Quoting dat uterus tho:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Michael Westen:</b>" Not if he's not on the BC like in my situation. ... [snip!] ... I said I didn't ennui tree who the dad was they would have made me track down the possible fathers before giving me assistance."

I was on assistance before. They actually didn't even question the blank spot next to "father" at all.

Quoting Michael Westen:" Not if he's not on the BC like in my situation.   And that's state by state anyway. He has another kid to raise. I'm not gonna put a hardship on him."

That's kinda smurfed up... why would you pretty much force tax payers pay for a child that isn't theirs but not the man that helped make said child? I have a child to support of my own, I don't need to pay for ones that aren't being taken care of by their own father. O.o

Quoting Michael Westen:" Id be in a similar state. I wouldn't go for it. My biggest reasoning is because he isn't on her BC. ... [snip!] ... for it, they would put him on the BC. Because he isn't on it, I have the upperhand with her. Which is ultimately what I want."

Same here. Unless he ever decides he wants court ordered visitation, I will not be filing for child support. I wouldn't want it even if he did get visitation. But according to my lawyer, if visitation issues go to the judge, child support does too, automatically.

Quoting dat uterus tho:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Michael Westen:</b>" Id be in a similar state. I wouldn't go ... [snip!] ... what I want."</blockquote> I got awarded child support and he didn't get visitation and he's still not on the BC  "

Well, DH is involved in her life. He isn't a bad dad at all, but he doesn't really pay any attention to her. He favors his son. And I don't want him to get custody of her and have her deal with that forever. Plus my step son is very abusive to her and she doesn't deserve that.

Quoting Mðmmå Çhï¢lꆆê~ 5wks:" That's kinda smurfed up... why would you pretty much force tax payers pay for a child that isn't theirs ... [snip!] ... I have a child to support of my own, I don't need to pay for ones that aren't being taken care of by their own father. O.o"

Oh shut the smurf up. I pay taxes too.

And he would still be supporting her! Just not at an asinine amount of money each month!

Quoting Olive ♥:" Same here. Unless he ever decides he wants court ordered visitation, I will not be filing for child support. ... [snip!] ... he did get visitation. But according to my lawyer, if visitation issues go to the judge, child support does too, automatically."

Yep. That's why I am hoping he would just try to work it out with me. I wouldn't be selfish with her at all. But I feel that I have her interests higher in my mind.

Quoting Michael Westen:" Oh shut the smurf up. I pay taxes too. And he would still be supporting her! Just not at an asinine amount of money each month!"

I'm not saying you don't. I just don't understand why you'd rather get money from the tax payers than from the man who should be responsible.

You don't HAVE to get a ton of money. You could come to an agreement of a lower amount. My Mom only got like $600 although she really should have got about $600 for each of us 3. She didn't want to go back for more even though they would have given her more.