re: Won't leave SO alone with their children

Quoting Just Ames:" It can go either two ways, the chick was stupid to procreate with a loser or two, she is a psycho overbearing ... [snip!] ... overbearing mother who sadly can't even trust her own partner with their child. There is a lot of that type on this site."

I do think I 'm kind of overprotective sometimes, but I have seen worse....way worse.    

Quoting Fantastic Faith ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Just Ames:</b>" It can go either two ways, the chick was stupid ... [snip!] ... sadly can't even trust her own partner with their child. There is a lot of that type on this site."</blockquote>  "

I used to be that way. Until I realized he needed more credit than I gave him. I understand it's hard to let loose but you should try...just a little, lol.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Just Ames:</b>" I used to be that way. Until I realized he needed more credit than I gave him. I understand it's hard to let loose but you should try...just a little, lol."</blockquote>


 
Since I go out so rarely, it's just so hard for me to jot like, micro-manage things. He's SUCH a great dad and I make sure to tell him that.
But I will still call sometimes and ask stupid smurf. Like "did you brushes their teeth?"  

Quoting Mama Rice:" Can someone explain why they have kids with someone they can not trust to be home alone with their kids? ... [snip!] ... will harm their children, I mean they do not trust that they could take proper care of their kids without their wife/SO around)"

i made a post about this yesterday. ive been with SO for seven years and we just had our first baby. I fully trust SO with our son however our son is colicky and is having a hard time with transitions. im fine with leaving him alone with him for a few hours but if im gone all day thats different. SO works ten hours a night, i dont expect him to stay up
al with a colicky baby when i can pay an educated person to help care and teac!h my child.

I leave my 2 1/2 year old with SO all the time, but I won't leave the baby with him (6 months). Only because he is super attached and freaks when he notices I'm not around... When he was a nb it was easier to leave him with SO. I won't leave the baby with anyone right now actually... He cries ALOT and I always feel like other people won't be able to handle it.

I totally trust SO with our children. I, however, do often remind him of things or text and see how the kids are doing when I'm not there and all of that lol. That is just because I like to know what is happening with them at all times. And no that does not mean I am overbearing or a psycho  

And at times I think most people don't expect this to happen. Maybe they planned to have a child and then the father just ended up being someone you can't trust..I don't know lol. My ex was kind of like this. We planned our son and everything and when he got him he refused to watch him at any point..even for me to run to the gas station across the street lol..then I started feeling like he couldn't take care of him at all. But I did leave him..obviously haha

My DH forgets to do a lot of the things like change diapers, change clothes, give the kids snacks...but he is a great dad. He plays with them, sings to them, reads to them, ect.
So when I leave the kids with him, sometimes I do worry just a little bit. He sometimes needs reminding.

I have friends who are like this. The one is bc all his lazy ass does is play vid games. Almost 40 n on the hone I can hear his 4 n 3 yr old screaming "daddy lease play w me" n my friend? Doesn't do anything. Makes me so sad for the kids she tells me are grabbing his legs n he practically shakes them off or screams at them to go away. The other friend is divorced but not bc of his no involvement. She would tell me she couldn't take a shower w.o 3 kids under 4 w her bc the hubby/dad refused to watch them. Like wtf?? My hubby never ever does any of that. He takes both girls to run errands so I get alone time. He gets up w them, feeds, takes care of them when he's home before he goes to work then we switch. I'd never ever put up w a dad/hubby who didn't want to spend time w their kids or I didn't trust to watch them. My 1st friend is trying to figure a way to write her will so her hubby doesn't get the kids in event of her death. She wants her other friend to raise them. She's asked if I'd ever do the same- my answer was hell no. He's their father n he loves them n he can raise/take care of them fine w.o me hovering.

Quoting Fantastic Faith ♥:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Just Ames:</b>" I used to be that way. Until I realized he needed ... [snip!] ... I make sure to tell him that. But I will still call sometimes and ask stupid smurf. Like "did you brushes their teeth?"  "

Look at it this way, if it won't kill someone, injure someone or mentally disturb someone then you're good  

It irritates the crap out of me when a dad (or mom) says "I can't do such and such, I have to babysit the kids" no dude, you're parenting. My husband said it once when our oldest was 9 months and I corrected him promptly.

Also, he may do things differently than me, and the kids might have a bit if a less healthy supper when it's him as opposed to me, but I know he loves them as muh as I do they will be safe, loved, played with, fed, and taken care of with him. I trust him with them more than anyone else because he's their other parent, and as a parent myself, I know how he feels about them. Easy.
And I all often to check up when I leave them with ANYONE, including my DH.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Just Ames:</b>" Look at it this way, if it won't kill someone, injure someone or mentally disturb someone then you're good  "</blockquote>


That is seriously what I have to tell myself LOL

Quoting Mama Rice:" Can someone explain why they have kids with someone they can not trust to be home alone with their kids? ... [snip!] ... will harm their children, I mean they do not trust that they could take proper care of their kids without their wife/SO around)"

I don't understand that either. I think any man who finds it SO difficult to care for his own child is pretty much just a lazy piece of smurf because really it's not THAT difficult to watch after your kid. So he's either stupid or lazy imo.

Quoting Tarynosaurus Rex:" I don't understand that either. I think any man who finds it SO difficult to care for his own child ... [snip!] ... just a lazy piece of smurf because really it's not THAT difficult to watch after your kid. So he's either stupid or lazy imo."

i respect your opinion but thats a little judgemental. Theres multiple senerios
that your not considering. And what is so wrong with daycare? i understand theres some smurffy places out there but as a parent you look for a high quality childcare. Some places only hire teachers that have the same degree as kindergarden teacher? Are you not going to send them to school cuz daddy can teach them?

Quoting Thorian's Mommy:" i respect your opinion but thats a little judgemental. Theres multiple senerios that your not considering. ... [snip!] ... teachers that have the same degree as kindergarden teacher? Are you not going to send them to school cuz daddy can teach them?"

Uh where did I mention anything about daycare? Or homeschooling? Don't put words in my mouth. Yes, if your SO lacks the ability to provide basic care (feeding, clothing, bathing) his OWN child then he's either dumb or lazy. There is just no excuse for a man not to do all the same things with his child that a woman does.

Quoting Thorian's Mommy:" i respect your opinion but thats a little judgemental. Theres multiple senerios that your not considering. ... [snip!] ... teachers that have the same degree as kindergarden teacher? Are you not going to send them to school cuz daddy can teach them?"

The "multiple scenarios" are not average. Usually, it's that the father is being lazy, is irresponsible or the mother is overbearing.

Nothing is wrong with daycare, when I was a single mother I used it. But, it's when the dad refuses to watch his kid even though he is home all day because "it's too hard" that I think Rex was referring to.