My SO's ex is getting to me. (vent) advice?

She messaged him the other day ( and we share a phone and have that whole trust thing so yeah I saw the thread of messages ) But she started messaging about how "cool" I was for being he friend on FB even though most girls wouldn't be if they knew they were "High school sweet hearts and dated for four years"

Then today stumbled across another message about how she's so sorry for "Ruining his life" by breaking up with him, and he humors her. They've been broken up for 4-5 years... He's 26 and has another baby on the way. I'm 28 weeks pregnant. AND She's 17 weeks pregnant with her SO. Then because at first I asked him to just ignore the first message, she decided she was going to throw it in my face like a child. And message me. "You don't have a problem with me even though we dated for four years?" typically I'm confident in my relationships, but being pregnant I think hormones are making it tough for me to keep calm. And ignore this. Yesterday I guess she started in with the whole "I'm sorry I ruined your life" BS. I already have those weird pregnancy nightmares where he leaves me stranded for his other ex who he has a 4 years old with. And no it's like I'm living in one of my nightmares. Or the beginning of one. With another ex. I'm being silly aren't I?

Quoting Chelsea.J:" She messaged him the other day ( and we share a phone and have that whole trust thing so yeah I saw the ... [snip!] ... with. And no it's like I'm living in one of my nightmares. Or the beginning of one. With another ex. I'm being silly aren't I? "

How is that throwing it in your face? I'm a bit confused here.

he has a kid with her, they should be able to chat without you going crazy.

Sometimes ex's can be friends, it is big of you to tolerate her for the sake of their child. I wouldn't worry too much about her though. I am friends with a couple of my ex's (who I don't have kids with) and when they get girlfriends I usually make friends with them to make them realize I'm not "interested" in their bf's as more than friends. It's sort of like an olive branch I guess. To show that I respect their relationship. That way they don't see my name and think I'm talking to their bf behind their back.

Quoting shes*almost*one!:" he has a kid with her, they should be able to chat without you going crazy."

No he doesn't this is a completely different ex. And as I said I'm aware that I may be acting silly about it. I'm pregnant there are hormones. <- I know this.
The ex he has a kid with gives me other reason's to be pissed off. And I don't really go crazy.

I would just ask him to stop talking with her.




clearly a relationship with her Is unnecessary for your SO to have, so why continue it? That's my opinion but I think my DH would agree w ith me that it's an unnecessary friendship

Oh wait I confused people. This is the ex before the one he has a child with guys.

The "ruined your life" is a little weird to me.

I mean, good for you being friends with her and all. But, I would be weirded out by that, too.

The issue I have is the "you don't have a problem with me even though we dated for four years" BS. I mean, really. She needs to move on and stop acting like a child. I feel she is egging you on and for what? Someone needs to tell her to get over herself and she is the one that needs to move on.

Quoting Bobo's mum:" I would just ask him to stop talking with her. clearly a relationship with her Is unnecessary for ... [snip!] ... SO to have, so why continue it? That's my opinion but I think my DH would agree w ith me that it's an unnecessary friendship"

Right.
She is being an smurf, not a "cool" ex girlfriend.

Quoting Chelsea.J:" Oh wait I confused people. This is the ex before the one he has a child with guys."

No I'm just confused what's making you upset is all.

Quoting Just Ames:" Right. She is being an smurf, not a "cool" ex girlfriend."

 

She's not being a friend, she's trying to get him to think about their previous love relationship.

Quoting Bobo's mum:" I would just ask him to stop talking with her. clearly a relationship with her Is unnecessary for ... [snip!] ... SO to have, so why continue it? That's my opinion but I think my DH would agree w ith me that it's an unnecessary friendship"

I guess they've been friends for a while and dated all through high school, and then some. And she cheated on him, he forgave her, and then she flat out left him. So there really is no good reason for a relationship in my opinion either. But I'm just not the type to keep anyone from talking to anyone else. It just bugs me that she's bringing really old stuff up for no reason.

I don't see it as throwing it in your face, I really think it was actually nice of her to ASK you if you were okay with it even though, they have a history together. They date 4 or 5 years ago, it's not like they just broke up a day or two before you two got together.

I think you are overreacting.

I don't think so. I'm confident in my relationship, but I wouldn't like my husband's ex that he obviously cared for at some point to be calling. I'm sure he wouldn't like it if roles were reversed. Even if he is perfectly innocent in the situation the fact that she is calling ad saying things like that seems disrespectful to you and your relationship to me and shouldn't be tolerated. He needs to tell her to stop.

I'm friends with exes and so is my hubby, so that isn't the issue to me. It's her statements that concern me.