re: My SO's ex is getting to me. (vent) advice?

I would be confused by the whole "im sorry i ruined your life" bit. Simply because his life clearly wasn't ruined, he moved on and has a child on the way. I think she is giving herself too much credit in his life. Like without her he is ruined.

Also remember, she is pregnant by someone else. I don't know the extent of her relationship with the baby's father but she could be feeling some type of way right now or scared about having a child in general. Not that it's okay to do what she is doing, but maybe her hormones are getting to her too, so if you say something to her, just do it politely.

She over stepped with the "sorry i ruined your life...." She isn't respecting any boundaries. The dreams are the worst. I had them also. Maybe you're reacting a little much but you are pregnant. React as much as you would like.

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" I kind of am, too. But I mean she doesn't seem all that crazy, compared to some I've heard about. At least everything's out in the open for OP and it's not like she's thunder struck. "

Could be she is nostalgic as well. She is having her first baby, and maybe she is thinking back to the time they were together is all.

Quoting The Doctor:" I agree. And, I mean, I have no issue with friends. But if you're trying to be friends with someone, ... [snip!] ... back to being friends. Not friends that are constantly telling their new SOs about our past together, and the hurt feelings."

Right... That's where the issue lies here, IMO. Right now it's essentially harmless but if this chick doesn't back up there could be issues in the future.

Quoting Kennedi's Momma:" She over stepped with the "sorry i ruined your life...." She isn't respecting any boundaries. The dreams ... [snip!] ... are the worst. I had them also. Maybe you're reacting a little much but you are pregnant. React as much as you would like."

Being pregnant does not give you a free pass to act the way you want. I really hate that smurf to be honest.

Quoting Just Ames:" Right... That's where the issue lies here, IMO. Right now it's essentially harmless but if this chick doesn't back up there could be issues in the future."

I agree.

I don't think there's anything wrong or a big problem..... but that kind of "frienship" seems... not friendly to me. Like, she wants him to be unable to function without her, gives her an ego boost or some smurf. That's the vibe I get.

Quoting MysticWitchKat:" Being pregnant does not give you a free pass to act the way you want. I really hate that smurf to be honest. "

 

Quoting MysticWitchKat:" Being pregnant does not give you a free pass to act the way you want. I really hate that smurf to be honest. "

I agree with that, too.

You are not some uninhibited, wild, uncontrollable being when you're pregnant.

Quoting Mommeee™:" I would be confused by the whole "im sorry i ruined your life" bit. Simply because his life clearly wasn't ... [snip!] ... to do what she is doing, but maybe her hormones are getting to her too, so if you say something to her, just do it politely. "

Or maybe she has some guilt over how their relationship ended and isn't putting it in the best way. "sorry i ruined his life" could mean she cheated on him and feels like crap, or it could mean "sorry I slept with your brother and now you two don't talk".. There are a lot of ways to take that. Could also be she thinks she hurt him too much for him to fully recover.

No she messaged him first and when he didn't reply the first time she turned to me. And then started again after a few weeks went by yesterday. With the whole "I'm sorry I ruined your life." he said nothing to me about those messages. And then she messaged me. That kind of felt like egging on. Anyone miss the part where she's pregnant as well. I don't understand what's going, and the whole exes shouldn't talk to exes thing, I agree with to an extent. This is just really bothering me. Everyone's different. And being pregnant has made me a tad insecure.

Clearly his life wasn't ruined, she just wants some sort of validation from him. It's a little pathetic...I would let it go.

Quoting Chelsea.J:" No she messaged him first and when he didn't reply the first time she turned to me. And then started ... [snip!] ... agree with to an extent. This is just really bothering me. Everyone's different. And being pregnant has made me a tad insecure."

Well tell him to tell her to back off some.

Quoting Chelsea.J:" No she messaged him first and when he didn't reply the first time she turned to me. And then started ... [snip!] ... agree with to an extent. This is just really bothering me. Everyone's different. And being pregnant has made me a tad insecure."

I would really just try to ignore it unless she keeps going.

Quoting wannaknow:" Or maybe she has some guilt over how their relationship ended and isn't putting it in the best way. ... [snip!] ... don't talk".. There are a lot of ways to take that. Could also be she thinks she hurt him too much for him to fully recover."

True, but I don't know the extent of their relationship. Even then though, she still continues to give too much credit to herself in his life.

Quoting MysticWitchKat:" Being pregnant does not give you a free pass to act the way you want. I really hate that smurf to be honest. "

Whoa! Lol what the hell. I'm a bit insecure? That's acting however I want? What's your issue. Get off my thread if it annoys you. I posted about my relationship, and something that was bothering me in that relationship. If it annoyed you that I mentioned being pregnant might have me overreacting a little. Than bite me, it's true. The nightmares of being stranded alone pregnant suck, and when things IRL get to me I panic a little more than usual.