re: My SO's ex is getting to me. (vent) advice?

I'm friends with all of my exes. I talk to most of them on a regular basis. DH doesn't give a smurf and he has seen conversations from my one ex saying she wished we had got together later on to see what would happen, and I agreed. DH didn't care. I don't really think she is being too ridiculous in all honesty.

Quoting Just Ames:" The issue I have is the "you don't have a problem with me even though we dated for four years" BS. I ... [snip!] ... feel she is egging you on and for what? Someone needs to tell her to get over herself and she is the one that needs to move on."

It could be just curiosity though. A lot of people have issues with their mate remaining friends with an ex.

I understand if yall wanna be friends with her on facebook but i dont see no reason why she needs to be sending you things like that, if they have a kid together they should just talk updates on the LO thats about it

Quoting MysticWitchKat:" No I'm just confused what's making you upset is all."

i kind o fam too... nothing in there would make me upset at all..

he's not hiding anything from you... she just sounds kinda weird.

Quoting The Doctor:"   She's not being a friend, she's trying to get him to think about their previous love relationship."

^^^^^^^ This is what I'm upset about this is the first thing that popped into my head. And I may be overreacting. But I may also just be really annoyed with one of his exes bringing up things that don't need brought up. We were talking and friends months and months before she brought up them dating for a while. And that it was cool of me. and she messaged him all of those things first.

Quoting MysticWitchKat:" It could be just curiosity though. A lot of people have issues with their mate remaining friends with an ex."

She seems to be repeating these questions which is in turn egging the OP on. There is no reason for that. It's childish and unnecessary.

Quoting Just Ames:" The issue I have is the "you don't have a problem with me even though we dated for four years" BS. I ... [snip!] ... feel she is egging you on and for what? Someone needs to tell her to get over herself and she is the one that needs to move on."

See I took it in a different way. Maybe she was making sure she KNEW they were friendly together and friends on FB ( or whatever). I mean it could go both ways.

The ex could very well be, being a bitch, but she also could just be making sure the OP knew ( which I guess, could also be her being a bitch lol).

Quoting shes*almost*one!:" i kind o fam too... nothing in there would make me upset at all.. he's not hiding anything from you... she just sounds kinda weird. "

I guess like I said I'm aware I could be overreacting. I just don't like the idea of her trying to bring up the past. Out of the blue. And they've already had there talks, and I'm sorry's. This was 4-5 years ago, and she randomly feels like bring it up again.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Chelsea.J:</b>" I guess they've been friends for a while and dated all through high school, and then some. And she cheated ... [snip!] ... not the type to keep anyone from talking to anyone else. It just bugs me that she's bringing really old stuff up for no reason."</blockquote>




Cheating starts with talking. They are exes for a reason. I wouldn't put any blame on him, but I'd say she's unhappy in her relationship and her mind has wandered back to the past. There's no reason for her to talk to him or say smurf to you.

Quoting Penises 3:Vaginas 1:" See I took it in a different way. Maybe she was making sure she KNEW they were friendly together and ... [snip!] ... be, being a bitch, but she also could just be making sure the OP knew ( which I guess, could also be her being a bitch lol)."

I can see that aspect of it.
IDK, I'm getting the crazy ex can't move on vibe.

If he doesnt have a kid with her.. That doesnt mean they cant be friends. BUT she shouldnt be talking about their past and bringin up how sorry she is she broke up with him..

my DH is best friends with his ex wife (not his BM) and i dont have a problem with that. But they have a long history. And im no one to say he cant be friends with someone, esp an ex, bc km his new wife. Shes no threat to me..

No if she were texting him wanting to get back together and smurf, yeah, id have a problem. But thats not the case...

I honestly don't think ex's should be friends with each other honestly especially first loves. I think there is a bond in that type of innocent love and its unhealthy to be chatting it up again. I honestly would ask SO to not talk to her so often and especially since shes being rude to you and saying shes sorry for ruining his life. Its becoming in inappropriate conversation at least in my eyes.
I talked to my first love and SO was totally fine with it and we did not talk about anything inappropriate, SO read the messages and there was no problem but than I could feel myself thinking about my ex more than usual and decided it was best to cut off talking.
When you love someone once its easy to love them again. I'm no longer in love with my ex but I think however small it may be a piece of my heart will always be his. I know every situation is different but I thought I would share what happened in our situation.

Quoting Just Ames:" She seems to be repeating these questions which is in turn egging the OP on. There is no reason for that. It's childish and unnecessary."

I dont see how that is egging her on. She said she is messaging her mate not her. The only thing she commented to her was the bit about her wondering if she had an issue with her talking.

Quoting Just Ames:" I can see that aspect of it. IDK, I'm getting the crazy ex can't move on vibe. "

I agree.

And, I mean, I have no issue with friends. But if you're trying to be friends with someone, you don't consantly talk about your relationship or how much you destroyed their life, IMO.

I dated one of my best friends. After we stopped dating, we went back to being friends. Not friends that are constantly telling their new SOs about our past together, and the hurt feelings.

Quoting Just Ames:" I can see that aspect of it. IDK, I'm getting the crazy ex can't move on vibe. "

I kind of am, too. But I mean she doesn't seem all that crazy, compared to some I've heard about. At least everything's out in the open for OP and it's not like she's thunder struck.