Need someones opinion!

I have asked a bunch of people and i always get the same answer so i am asking here in hopes to get a different answer!!! I have a 19 month old baby girl and 5month old twin boys and have been severely depressed since i was 12 years old and on top of regular depression i have been diagnosed with PPD and i have a LOT of problems in my life right now that i cant seem to get help with...i was prescribed meds for the PPD and was shortly after taken off of it because i would space out and it would take my SO almost 5 minutes to get my attention and i wouldnt hear my kids crying...i asked to be put on a new medicine because the depression is taking over everything about me and it too much for me to deal with but my OBGYN sent me to my PCP and my PCP told me he doesnt feel like i need anything...I have thought i giving up and give my kids to their fathers (my oldest i know i wouldnt want to go to her father due to the fact he wants nothing to do with her and doesnt take care of her when he has her but its court ordered saturdays 9-5) but i still have these thoughts of not wanting to be around my kids who i love more than anything and thought that nobody around me loves me and im just a waist of space...i know i need help i just dont know how to get it at this point...

Your PCP sounds like an idiot, girl you need to find a new doctor!! You really sound like you need some kind of help.

Depression is sometimes just so hard for others to understand or grasp, especially if they have never experienced it. People are so quick to dismiss it and tell you to 'get over it', but for one I know it's no where near that easy. Don't be down on yourself for feeling this way and for feeling distant from your own kids, this is not something that you asked for. As for help, I strongly recommend seeing a different Doc or counselor! Do you have any family who can take kids for a while, whilst you try and get some help? Stay strong for now, remember this is not the end and just keep fighting as best as you can, things DO get better.

Go live in a state were medical marijuana is legal it helps with my depression

Do you have family near that can take your kids for 1 or 2 hours so you can do yoga or go to coffee with friends? To me it sounds like you are overwhelmed and need some me time. I do not think it is selfish, twins would be a lot of stress but a 19 month child and twins would drive me insane. No wonder you are feeling down. Or some areas have mother's day out where you could have someone watch your children so you could take a nap. (you would have to pay , but it is sooo worth it)

<blockquote><b>Quoting brooke_x:</b>" Depression is sometimes just so hard for others to understand or grasp, especially if they have never ... [snip!] ... some help? Stay strong for now, remember this is not the end and just keep fighting as best as you can, things DO get better. "</blockquote>



This is exactly what I was going to say! Don't give up. (((hugs)))

the only support i have is my SO...my family doesnt really care about me or my kids...my boys are with their great aunt right now and i fought with my parents for 3 hours to let me stay at their house for the night with my daughter...my kids are really easy they dont really cause any type of struggles for me at all! the twins are the easiest babies ever!! and my daughter has her issues with behaving but what child doesnt misbehave at times! all in all i have great kids who dont really cause me much stress its the rest of my life that is hard and depressing me and i feel like i am ruining my kids lives and like my kids dont deserve and mother who cant do the world for them...i feel like a bad mom at least 90% of everyday...i feel worthless to the world...i told to my SO about it and he fully understand cuz he has anxiety, depression, and is bipolar! he smokes marijuana to help calm himself down but i am allergic to it...last time i smoked it 4 years ago i blacked out 4 times, thought i fell down the stair, made my exes sister promise if i died she would give me a million dollars, and somehow managed to wake up in my own pee on the floor...and then went to the hospital...im supposed to be moving out of state begining of next month as long as courts give me permission to move with my daughter and i was thinking about seeking out a psycologist when i move...has anyone had good experiences with a psycologist helping with depression and/or PPD?

Quoting Anastasia Couture:" the only support i have is my SO...my family doesnt really care about me or my kids...my boys are with ... [snip!] ... seeking out a psycologist when i move...has anyone had good experiences with a psycologist helping with depression and/or PPD?"

I go to an income-based clinic in the area. They have counselors and psychiatrists. I don't think you have to be referred where I go, but I know a lot of places you do. Some medical doctors handle depression and anxiety. I would look around in the area for different doctors and clinics. You definitely sound like you need some sort of help. Good luck!

thank you everyone so much! it means a lot to know that there are people out there who actually care even if nobody knows me personally!

<blockquote><b>Quoting Anastasia Couture:</b>" the only support i have is my SO...my family doesnt really care about me or my kids...my boys are with ... [snip!] ... seeking out a psycologist when i move...has anyone had good experiences with a psycologist helping with depression and/or PPD?"</blockquote>




I was in the hospital from April to September. I saw a Psychologist and Psychiatrist on basically a daily basis. It helped with medication. I see a therapist now and it helps.