How long should I give this?

I guess I can call him my ex currently since we are considered broken up now. Wants me to wait it out and show that he can change before I make a final decision. I feel I already made my decision to leave. He's been nice the last week or so. Doing more then he usually does and pretty much kissing ass. He's done this before and usually within a few weeks even a few months thing revert to where they were. Okay, now I don't want to up and leave because it would leave him in a rough situation and myself but how long should I give this? I mean I can't stay here forever thinking back and forth although I do want to leave. A little part of me wants to stay but I know I'm going to regret it later and wonder why the hell I didn't go. I even went as far as praying tonight for God to give me the right answer and I don't pray. I just don't know what to do. My emotions are so smurfed up right now.

Have you tried counselling?

<blockquote><b>Quoting rpgmomma8404:</b>" I guess I can call him my ex currently since we are considered broken up now. Wants me to wait it out ... [snip!] ... for God to give me the right answer and I don't pray. I just don't know what to do. My emotions are so smurfed up right now. "</blockquote>




I'm pretty much dealing with the same battle! We aren't broken up but I'm just dealing with going about my own business and let him tag along or just leave him altogether! I swear sooooo many men do this ass kissing whatever you say deal until they feel they got you where they want you! Don't let up... Or at least not let him know you're even considering or liking the ass kissing! If he's that serious he'll stay latched on til you get the results you truly need and want! If not well... That's just the smurf giving up and obviously not worth keeping around! Just focus on yourself and do whatever you need to for YOU and either he'll clean up his act or get lost!

Quoting NevviesMom:" Have you tried counselling?"

Yeah but we don't go long enough. Last time we went we argued a lot. This is almost 12 years of this smurf. It's not something that just popped up one day. Been going through this too long.

how many times before has he tired to do better or change?

Quoting ☠BryBry's MuM☠:" how many times before has he tired to do better or change?"

Too many times, I'm thinking about leaving at least four or five times a year. Things will get better for like a week or two then it will go back to the same smurf. I have tons of post on here bitching about him throughout the whole four years I've been on this site. He's also talking about going back to counseling now today. I'm just kind of at a brick wall. I know no one can really give me advice because it is a rough situation. It's just hard to figure out what the right thing to do is. I can't sit here being indecisive for the rest of our lives. I mean I don't want to be with him. I don't think this relationship is going to go any where because it hasn't in the whole almost 12 years we've been together. We've been hitting that wall for too long now but yet I wonder if I should give it one last chance. Last time I wanted to leave I said if it doesn't work out this is it. No more and I don't want to go back on that. I don't know if him being extremely nice is making me feel bad or what. I'm just at a dead end right now.

how long have you been broken up for now?
sounds like hes telling you what you want to hear. (i know bc my SO does it all the time) its been 12 yrs and nothing has changed so i think you two should stay separated untill he follows threw with councling & betters himself. give it time (more then a few months) if he cant understand and says thats to long, you tell him i gave you many yrs to change/better yourself and this is the last chance before we are over with for good.

Quoting ☠BryBry's MuM☠:" how long have you been broken up for now? sounds like hes telling you what you want to hear. (i know ... [snip!] ... long, you tell him i gave you many yrs to change/better yourself and this is the last chance before we are over with for good."

Almost two weeks? I think. I was in the process of finding some where else to go but everyone doesn't have room or can't take my animals with me. I know that shouldn't matter if I'm trying to get my smurf straighten out. I just be heart broken without my fur babies.

I just think he's got a lot of growing to do. I've never seen myself having a happy future with him. Just misery giving his track record. I'm afraid he is just telling me what I want to hear and once he feel things are back to normal, he's going to revert to the same smurf. I don't even think I should risk it. It's just hard to leave because if I go it's going to leave him in a tight spot. I think that guilt alone is what has kept me from moving out also.