my daily rant

I just feel so overwhelmed right now and it's like my DH doesn't see it. His only day off he goes to the ball field (so he says it's the last tourney for the season) instead of staying home and helping me out. I am just annoyed with him right now I don't even want to see his face when he gets home! If I bring this up to him he will say "what do you have to be stressed about the kids go to daycare or school". Yes, that may be true but I have get 3 kids ready for bed, bathed, fed and homework done (if any for our DS). I spend my mornings dropping off the kids after I get them dressed and fed then making phone calls or running errands and cleaning house and laundry. By the time I get done with all of that I have to pick up kids and start dinner. DH is normally in bed between 7 or 8 depending on what time he has to be in the next day. I feel like I never get a breather or just time with him. Then, it starts all over again. I am just so sick and tired of this endless cycle of bull crap. Thursday nights used to be my night to do whatever, which always ended in me watching Grey's in peace and quiet while DH dealt with the kiddos. But that slowly stopped. Then, today he says "Oh I am buying your new cell for Christmas and taking you to dinner and a movie for your b'day". Is that suppose to make everything else go away or okay? Like seriously! He needs a reason to do something for me? I do the Christmas shopping, the b'day planning (for our kids), the phone calls, the sports snacks everything! He was really helpful now it's slowly stopping. I just don't get it. Then, he wants to wonder why I am too tired for sex or why we go to bed a different times or why I just shut him out of all the decisions. What does it matter? I bury myself in school but my classes don't start until January. Right now I wish it was January. I am so over his new way of acting? I don't know if it's because his new work hours or because his BIL does nothing and lets his sister do it all. I just don't know nor care right now. If I wanted to do everything alone then I'd choose to be alone.

TIA for listening to my rant.

Maybe hes overwhelmed too.

How frustrating! I'd sit him down and have a serious talk about it. Telk hom that you need some alone time! He gets his once a week when he goes to the ball field. Maybe explain to him that its hard to do the same thing, everyday, and you need alone time! Also explain to him that in order for a woman to be intimate we need to be relaxed and emotionally connected, specially in long term relationships. Its hard to do that, or even to feel sexy, when all day your identity is mom, not attractive woman. Hope he understands!

Sounds like he works all day long and never really gets a break either. You're getting hours a day with no kids, don't tell me you can't clean your house and not a moment to relax in that time.

Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" Sounds like he works all day long and never really gets a break either. You're getting hours a day with no kids, don't tell me you can't clean your house and not a moment to relax in that time."

 

Seriously I could see if you had 3 kids at home all day, but your kids go somewhere during the day. Cry me a river.

Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" Sounds like he works all day long and never really gets a break either. You're getting hours a day with no kids, don't tell me you can't clean your house and not a moment to relax in that time."

This is my feeling too.

Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" Sounds like he works all day long and never really gets a break either. You're getting hours a day with no kids, don't tell me you can't clean your house and not a moment to relax in that time."

He gets off work no later than 2:30 pm normally comes home naps and that's about it. Him helping me 1 day for a few hours wouldn't hurt him either. Yes, normally after I clean house I usually either a) try to relax or b) start thinking what's on the menu for dinner. Hell even to spend time with me for a few hours wouldn't kill him either. I know he's frustrated and overwhelmed too but he is always off doing something on his 1 day off then time with me or the kids.

Quoting s00nt0b04:" He gets off work no later than 2:30 pm normally comes home naps and that's about it. Him helping me ... [snip!] ... know he's frustrated and overwhelmed too but he is always off doing something on his 1 day off then time with me or the kids. "

Have you told him?

Quoting Crystal Marie S.:" Sounds like he works all day long and never really gets a break either. You're getting hours a day with no kids, don't tell me you can't clean your house and not a moment to relax in that time."

This is what I was thinking. Yeah it must be tiring in the mornings and evenings, but you can't tell me that it takes you 5/6 hours a day (assuming daycare/school is 9-2/3) to clean the house and do laundry.

What do you do all day while the kids are in school? Honestly I am all for being a SAHM I am one as well but when the kids are in school what else is there to do? Maybe hes stressed out too? What you should do is get a job.

Quoting s00nt0b04:" He gets off work no later than 2:30 pm normally comes home naps and that's about it. Him helping me ... [snip!] ... know he's frustrated and overwhelmed too but he is always off doing something on his 1 day off then time with me or the kids. "

Have you spoken with him about this? In a calm, rational manner, because nobody will listen if the other person makes them feel defensive. Maybe 1 day a week, he can pick the kids up, or get the groceries so you can take a nap, or watch a show, or whatever you like to do on your down time.

Quoting Lynnsay B:" How frustrating! I'd sit him down and have a serious talk about it. Telk hom that you need some alone ... [snip!] ... Its hard to do that, or even to feel sexy, when all day your identity is mom, not attractive woman. Hope he understands!"

I wouldn't care if my "quiet time" was the 20 mins or so at the nail salon every other week. Saturdays he isn't home after work either but I've brushed that off if he's at the bar drinking a few with friends for the end of the work week. I just feel like if he needs a reason to spend time with me then I assume not go anywhere for my b'day. I know my kids go else where during the day during the week but weekends it's all me and when they get home it's always me.

Quoting JoAnna &hearts's Jett:" What do you do all day while the kids are in school? Honestly I am all for being a SAHM I am one as well ... [snip!] ... as well but when the kids are in school what else is there to do? Maybe hes stressed out too? What you should do is get a job."

I do work not full time but part time. It took me all of 7.5 hours to do laundry that includes the time it takes to fold and put it away.

<blockquote><b>Quoting s00nt0b04:</b>" I wouldn't care if my "quiet time" was the 20 mins or so at the nail salon every other week. Saturdays ... [snip!] ... I know my kids go else where during the day during the week but weekends it's all me and when they get home it's always me. "</blockquote>




Make sure he knows that too!

Quoting s00nt0b04:" I do work not full time but part time. It took me all of 7.5 hours to do laundry that includes the time it takes to fold and put it away. "

There's no way that's all putting in in the machine, folding, and putting away. You don't have to stare at the machine while it runs.