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It's still your sister and you have every right to be sad for her  

I don't think that's selfish at all. You care about your sister and already cared about the child, of course you're feeling sad. Sorry for the loss.

Not odd at all. Definitely not selfish. That's family and any loss is hard.

First, sorry for your loss. Sexond that is not selfish at all!! If my sister or SIL was in the same situation I'd feel the same way. Its hard for anyone to get excited for a new family member and then for it not to happen. Maybe let her know how you feel. When I went through my loss it was comforting to have people feel for me and be sad with me.