'Nesting' making me so upset, long vent.

This is going to be long since I have a lot to get off my hest.
First of all, my fiance and I were in a car accident in march that completely wrote off our car, the other driver was a hit and run and the cops never caught him for the damage he caused.
My MIL had helped us a lot with the car, so when the insurance money came my fiance gave it to his mum (it was only about $5000).
We both worked, he lived with his mum and I lived where I worked, but my boss's wife had a problem with me and I ended up getting fired and kicked out.
Since I didnt have a formal contract or anything, I couldn't get them for unfair dismissal, I just had to cut my losses.
Luckily my MIL took me in, and I managed to get Government assistance so I could pay her rent etc.
We pay $300 a fortnight, buy groceries and I also do the housework.
After a while I found out I was pregnant, and my fiance didnt let me tell hiss mum because he was afraid she would get mad at him, so I gave him until the end of the first trimester to tell her.
Well after 4 months he still hadn't told her, and I was feeling so guilty and horrible going behind her back while I lived in her house, so I told her while my fiance was at work.
She wasn't happy at first, but after a while she came around.
Fiance and I were planning on moving out, and when we told her, she got really upset and told us not to, and cleared the spare room in the house to make a nursery, so we are still living with her now.
We bought a new bed because we were previously sharing a single, and that took most of our savings.
I haven't been able to get a job because of Hyperemesis and Endometriosis making my pregnancy absolute torture.
So my fiance and I make about $600 a week, and I started buying things for the baby like clothes, a bassinet etc.
Then MIL says not to buy anything because her brother is sending us all of his stuff that he bought for his grandchildren and they didnt use, so I said thanks and have just been waiting around.
I'm now 7 months pregnant and am getting anxious and stressed because he hasn't sent anything, and I haven't heard anything from MIL about what exactly is he sending and when will it be here.
I really don't want to come across as ungrateful, but I really hate waiting around when I could have bought my daughter everything she needs by now.
I'm also so stressed because my fiance and I still don't have our own car, and we have had a lot of unexpected bills come up that have made it impossible to save, like 5 days ago we just spent about $1250 on Vet bills for our cat.
We also pay rent and buy groceries, and now Christmas is around the corner  
Fiance absolutely refuses to get a loan of any sort to buy a car.

I'm starting to get so overwhelmed.
Is it wrong of me to want my own place, a car, just some space to breathe and not feel like such a crappy freeloader.
To make matters worse, my SIL has been causing some drama and just her attitude in general puts me in a bad mood everyday to the point where I just want to lock myself in the bedroom all day.
She is so rude to me, calls me an idiot for getting pregnant, calls me a 'bogan' because I came from an abusive home and I had no money or possessions growing up, she openly says she is smarter and better than me because she went to a private school instead of public, and when anyone tells her to stop being a bitch, she runs away from home and starts drama.
MIL walks on eggshells around her because SIL tried to commit suicide a few years ago, so now she is allowed to live here and not pay rent or do any housework, she refuses to get a job saying everyone else is 'peasants'.
She annoys me so much but I keep my mouth closed because its not my house, and isn't my place to tell her off, even though she embarasses me and makes me cry all the time.

I feel like if I wanted to move out my MIL would be devastated.
Im just at my wits end, so miserable.
I don't have any family to help, only MIL.
But even she is bossy, saying I have to cloth diaper when I wanted to use disposables.
Im feeling so smothered, I have no friends to talk to.
I feel like I'm going out of my mind.
I'm also facing the decision of having to go off my Anti-depressants for the health of my baby, but I do need them because I am not emotionally or physically ready from my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and my Depression and anxiety.

Can someone tell me if I am going crazy or not?
I would really appreciate any advice.

Quoting Kelly-Ann Louise:" This is going to be long since I have a lot to get off my hest. First of all, my fiance and I were in ... [snip!] ... Disorder and my Depression and anxiety. Can someone tell me if I am going crazy or not? I would really appreciate any advice."

You're not crazy, it's completely understandable that you want to get things organised for your LO. Is there any way you can give the guy a hurry up in regards to the stuff for baby? Maybe tell MIL that while you really appreciate the thought you'd rather organise your own stuff, if that's an option.
Your SIL sounds like a douche. And as for MIL, you can't live your life trying to make her happy, even though she has been helpful to you and your fiance.. if you feel you need to move to save your sanity, do it, because if you're not comfortable in that house it'll make breastfeeding a nightmare (speaking from experience) and it'll get a whole lot worse when you're sleep deprived from looking after a newborn. Use disposable diapers if you want to, you make the decisions for your child. I'd say to MIL next time she starts trying to be bossy, "I appreciate your input but Fiance and I are doing things this way". My mother and grandmother are very opinionated about some of the things I do for LO, with my mother i tell her to stfu (literally, but we can say that stuff to each other) and I'm a bit more polite with my grandmother. You can't let people tell you what to do, it'll drive you mad, especially if you have to adjust to not taking medication as well.
Sorry if this makes no sense, its midnight and I can't sleep so my brain is a bit scrambled  

You have all right to feel the way you do. Your pregnant and emotional. Maybe sit your SO and your MIL down and tell them how you feel or write a letter to them so they can read it and put everything you feel and why you feel that way and maybe state that you want a day or 2 have some sort of space to gather your thoughts.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ℐ+ℳ=£:</b>" You're not crazy, it's completely understandable that you want to get things organised for your LO. ... [snip!] ... not taking medication as well. Sorry if this makes no sense, its midnight and I can't sleep so my brain is a bit scrambled  "</blockquote>

It makes perfect sense.
Somedays I really just want to tell them to shut up and let me do things my way, I just feel so guilty, and don't want to rock the boat if you know what I mean.

Quoting Kelly-Ann Louise:" <blockquote><b>Quoting ℐ+ℳ=£:</b>" You're not crazy, it's completely understandable ... [snip!] ... them to shut up and let me do things my way, I just feel so guilty, and don't want to rock the boat if you know what I mean."

You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to raise your baby the way you want to hun. I know how it is with the other halfs family, I don't really get on with some of my SO's family but I keep it to myself to avoid causing problems. If they were to start telling me how to raise my son it'd be a different story though.
Do what's best for you, your baby and your SO. His family might be offended at first, but they'll get over it. If MIL get's pissed you want to move, just tell her that it's the next natural step for you two and you want to be in your own space to raise your family. She can't logically argue with that.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Angel's Momma.:</b>" You have all right to feel the way you do. Your pregnant and emotional. Maybe sit your SO and your MIL ... [snip!] ... you feel and why you feel that way and maybe state that you want a day or 2 have some sort of space to gather your thoughts."</blockquote>

Yeah I think I'll write a letter, I'm really bad at confrontations and I know I'll just end up agreeing with whatever MIL says.

Quoting Kelly-Ann Louise:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Angel's Momma.:</b>" You have all right to feel the way you ... [snip!] ... Yeah I think I'll write a letter, I'm really bad at confrontations and I know I'll just end up agreeing with whatever MIL says."

Ya and you can also think about how you want to word things instead of going right of your mind.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Angel's Momma.:</b>" Ya and you can also think about how you want to word things instead of going right of your mind."</blockquote>

Thats true, I'm not good at putting thoughts into words either so a letter is a great idea.

Quoting Kelly-Ann Louise:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Angel's Momma.:</b>" Ya and you can also think about how you ... [snip!] ... of your mind."</blockquote> Thats true, I'm not good at putting thoughts into words either so a letter is a great idea."

Definitrtly  

I don't even know if we could afford to move out though.
It's just a smurffy situation in general.

Quoting Kelly-Ann Louise:" I don't even know if we could afford to move out though. It's just a smurffy situation in general."

I would just start out by writing the letter and maybe if you get your feelings out you guys can sit and talk and maybe just things to help you feel better.

I know exactly how you feel. I got pregnant very unexpectedly. DH and I had only been Married for 6 months. He was in school and working full time and I was also working full time. We were barely making the bills as it is.

Things are better now, thank god. DH got a raise and such, but that didn't happen till after Aiden was born. Somehow, everything just worked out. I didn't think I was going to have enough for LO, and I actually ended up with MORE than what I needed (between things that were given to me, and things I bought on my own). I know it's hard to sit back and trust that things will work out, especially when you're pregnant and emotional, but trust me , things tend to have a way of working themselves out.

Just out of curiosity , what kind of "help" did your MIL give you with the car that warreanted giving her the entire 5000.00 check? That seems like an awful lot...

<blockquote><b>Quoting Angel's Momma.:</b>" I would just start out by writing the letter and maybe if you get your feelings out you guys can sit and talk and maybe just things to help you feel better."</blockquote>

I'm just worried how she will react, she does this thingcwhen shes upset where she goes all quiet and ignores you for days.
Not sure I could handle the silent treatment after trying to open up to her.

Quoting Kelly-Ann Louise:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Angel's Momma.:</b>" I would just start out by writing the ... [snip!] ... where she goes all quiet and ignores you for days. Not sure I could handle the silent treatment after trying to open up to her."

You know what i would let her read it and if she doesn't came to you then let her have a day or two then talk to her because she may be thinking about it.

<blockquote><b>Quoting !!Katie!!:</b>" I know exactly how you feel. I got pregnant very unexpectedly. DH and I had only been Married for 6 months. ... [snip!] ... "help" did your MIL give you with the car that warreanted giving her the entire 5000.00 check? That seems like an awful lot..."</blockquote>

Thanks, that gives me a bit of hope.
With the car, fiance bought it for about $2000 and then MIL spent about $2000 paying the mechanics to get it fixrd up.
He shouldn't have given her the whole cheque, but he wass feeling really guilty that the car was totalled just 2 weeks after getting it road worthy