How do you get over it if SO is dead set on a name you don't

Okay, so as soon as we discovered I was pregnant he said that no matter what, if it was a boy it had to have his grandpa, and father's names. He was fine if we used them both as middle names, but he wanted both. I hate hate HATE his grandpa's name, and am not too fond of his dad's either. As we were trying to choose a first name, I was thinking of middle names, but he wasn't budging. Well I have about 10 reasons not to use his Grandpa's name, the biggest being that I identify it with a serial killer stalking my neighborhood as a child...I recently discovered that I won that battle. But he is still dead set on using his dad's name as a middle name. I personally am dead set against using "family" names. I want my children to have their own identity. I don't want them to feel they have to "live up to an expectation" because they were named after SUCH a great person. My husband absolutely idolises his father. We were talking about going camping this past summer, and I recommended a camp site I had been to many times as a child, and he actually said to me we'd have to call his dad and check with them first *cue eye roll*. I hear that far too often, oh I'll just call dad and ask him. Well sorry hun, but I'm a smart cookie and know how to do my research, I don't need to call dear daddy to ask him how to write off medical expenses on my taxes *cue second eye roll*.

So anyway, he wants to give our son his dad's name as a middle name. I hate it. I can't force myself to even like the name. I came up with two wonderful names, which he loves. The first name starts with an S, as does his dad's name, and when I recommended the S name he suggests we use those two, but it sounds like a boat...SS...so I said either we find a different first name or stick something in between. So he comes up with about 10 different names that are either family names (uncles etc), or freaking made up smurf that comes from god only knows where in his DAD'S mind. One of which I know is his dad's netflix password *cue third eye roll*. I finally suggested my favorite name in the entire world as a first middle name and he went for it. But I would still rather drop his dad's name. Is this a battle better left alone? I feel bad because I "picked" the other two names and feel like I should just allow him the third, but I would rather not use two middle names anyway, and if he had suggested anything OTHER than a family name I would have strongly considered it, but every name on his list was a family member, either his or mine.

I'd tell him when he's the one who has to be pregnant and give birth, then he can have final say on the name. Either we agree, or I decide. Not naming my kid something I hate.

I kept nagging. My husband was dead set on another girl with a 4-letter L name, but I couldn't find any I liked. I also picked a full name that I loved but he totally hated. I finally told him that as important as it was for him for his daughter to have a name like her sister's, it was equally important for me for it to be something I liked. We ended up choosing Maya Lina (even though he wasn't entirely fond of Maya, and I'm still not entirely fond of Lina) so that we could compromise. I still bug him though to think about it some more. xD

I think you should just let him use the name, especially if he's letting you use it as a middle name. It's not that big of a deal.

I HATE Robert but we're using it as this baby's FIRST name because it was the paternal grandfather's name, and I respect this kid's dad enough to realize how important the name is to him.

Quoting Stephanie Anne Guay:" Okay, so as soon as we discovered I was pregnant he said that no matter what, if it was a boy it had ... [snip!] ... than a family name I would have strongly considered it, but every name on his list was a family member, either his or mine."

Well you won with the grandpa's name, and it's not the first name, it's the middle. So I would let it go.

What is his dad's name?
I personally would let him decide on the middle name if he agreed on dropping his grandfather's name and using his father's name as the middle name.

It his child too!

I think you should give him the middle name, it is SO important to him and it is just a middle name.

I feel the same as you but both my kids' middle names are from DH's family. It makes him happy and it is special to him, that is a good enough reason for me.

I'd let him have his fathers name as the secind middle name. It's only fair. And besides as a third name, it will rarely ever be used  

It is his kid too. You must consider his feelings. I suggest you compromise and let him pick the middle name.

I named our daughter so when we were having a second child we agreed he could name it... I am not a huge fan of it but it is growing on me the middle name is a name I really don't like but it is just a middle name... how many people are really going to know it anyway... I wouldn't worry about it, if it is a family name then it means something to it. And who cares if you carried and delivered the baby it is as much his as it is yours. It isn't the man's fault he can't carry or deliver a baby so that is NO reason for him to not have a say.

It sounds like you don't like his dad and that is why you are so dead set against the name. I get where you're coming from, but the kid is just as much as his as it is yours and so he should have a say. If it means that much to him, I think you should let him have it.

I just think there's other ways to "honour" someone than to give your child their name. Like giving them a grandchild to begin with *sigh*.

If it can be used as a middle name I don't see the issue. DH and I decided my our DD's first name together and I picked the middle name (he didn't like it but oh well) and with our son we both picked a first name and he picked the middle name (and I don't like it). People aren't generally known for their middle names so it's not really a big deal.

I think his dad is a wonderful person. Both his mom and dad are. I think he needs to grow up and realize he's almost 30 and that they don't need to hold his hand through every decision he makes.

His dad's name is Serge. I just hate the name, and I really hate the idea of "namesakes." It is nothing against his dad directly. I think he gets every right to have input in the name, but I wish that input hadn't been limited to two specific names. And the rest he didn't give any thought of, just threw out any male relative. Like Yvon.

I probably won't bring it up with him again. I'm just venting mostly, and it sounds like the general idea is that you don't always both agree. I didn't know if there was a way to get over it, or to just let it be, but it sounds like a let it be type of topic. Ah well.