One boy and one girl

I have a toddler boy right now and have a little girl due in a few months. I am so worried about raising my little girl in this society. I have no issues with raising my son due to the fact that I have been around boys my entire life and know how to handle them, but girls are a completely different book. From my experience with them they are emotionally difficult, conniving, and very hard to figure out even if you agree with them, and let's not even start on the outfits. My parents did a great job with me by scarring me straight at a young age. Oh and I am married and both of their daddy is my husband. Any suggestions to help this mommy.

All you can do is set a good example with her and let her follow your leed be honest with her and correct her when she needs it that's the best you can do ask you parents for tips since they did a good job with you

I have 2 boys and 3 girls and so far my girls have been easier than my boys. My oldest is so onry and mouthy I want to beat the teenager out of him most days. I wouldn't set yourself up for negativity - my 2nd daughter is the sweetest momma's girl you will ever meet. Each kid will have their own personality and that will develop as they learn and grow. We are raising all of our kids the same - to have morals, great family values and to respect us. Just do your best as her parent and I am sure it will turn out just fine.

You don't have to scare a child straight.

Live your values, and make sure your child knows what your values are. Love them, respect them, and teach them to love and respect themselves, and to love and respect you. Keep the lines of communication open. Be willing to negotiate on the little things. Trust your child to make the right decisions as long as you are given no reason to think they won't. Emphasize their value...to you and to themselves. A person who believes he or she has value is less likely to cheapen his or her self just for appearances.

This is important for boys and girls.

Quoting Autumn Whisper:" You don't have to scare a child straight. Live your values, and make sure your child knows what your ... [snip!] ... he or she has value is less likely to cheapen his or her self just for appearances. This is important for boys and girls."

I agree with this. OP almost sounds like she's going to beat the bad out of her future daughter. That's unnecessary. She'll still be your child regardless of gender. I wouldn't raise a daughter any differently than my sons. I mean sometimes they need to be treated slightly differently because they're individuals, but I wouldn't automatically be more strict with one of them because of the gender. Gender doesn't even mean all that much until they're closer to teen years.

When I posted this I sought out advice and support, and I thank anyone who gave me such. But to accuse me of wanting to beat my children I say "shame". Scared straight is a great parenting tool that my parents used on my brother and myself to turn us into outstanding citizens. I worry with a daughter due to the fact that many mothers try to be friends with their daughters instead of being parents. I worried that my daughter will see this and "act up" and lash out and my husband and me. Regardless we will love her to our hearts' fullest, but we can both say that it is scary to raise any child in today's society.

My response is this .. how could you ever call a whole gender "From my experience with them they are emotionally difficult, conniving, and very hard to figure out even if you agree with them," I mean you're talking about your future child. I would never say that about any of my children even if they were green aliens with 4 heads. My advice is that you read some parenting books.

Is it totally unreasonable to think that if you treat a child like a human being, and expect them to treat you, other people, and themselves like one, you may actually end up with a decent human being?

I object to the scared straight method on a very fundamental level. The world is scary enough. You can have an open and honest relationship without losing the parental role. I believe it is my job to empower my child, male or female, rather teach him or her to live in fear.

The parental relationship is complicated. I only have a son, but I don't for a second believe that either gender is "easier."

I suppose the best advice I can give you is drop any preconceived notions you may have about how girls are and how they are supposed to be. Drop any notions you have from how girls you've known have behaved in the past. And embrace your daughter. She will be her own unique individual, creating herself before your very eyes. She will be herself. And she could be amazing. Don't underestimate her.

Your p post made me sad! You are already expecting to struggle with your daughter and she isn't even here yet!! That poor thing already has challenges.
Anyway, I have a daughter and a son, and they are both amazing and they both have their difficulties. It has nothing to do with their sex, but just their own personalities!
My daughter is 4 yrs old, very outgoing, friendly, helpful, silly, but at the same time she is very emotional, easy to tears, stubborn, but again I don;t consider those to be "female" traits.
My son is nearly 2 years old and he is sweet, kind, friendly, but at the same time very needy, clingy, shy at first, and prone to quick tanturms... again not "boy" traits, just typical two year old traits. I suggest you drop those negative preconceptions you have for your innnocent and unborn daughter and love her unconditionally for who she is and don't try to change her, but instead take her traits and mold them into a positive outlook.

Obviously no one cared to read my response in any of this when I stated that we will love our daughter no matter what, how well that the scared straight worked for my parents when put towards a certain age, and how it's scary to raise any child in this society due to the fact that parents try too hard to be their children's friends. Does no one care that the future rides on our children and it is our job as parents to raise them respectively?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Nichole Spurlock:</b>" Obviously no one cared to read my response in any of this when I stated that we will love our daughter ... [snip!] ... friends. Does no one care that the future rides on our children and it is our job as parents to raise them respectively?"</blockquote>



I suspect that you did not try to read mine.

Did you expect everyone to agree with you?

It is scary to raise a child. It is an incredible responsibility.

Yes, many parents smurf it up. Utterly. And many do just fine. Many parents even do exemplary jobs of it. Do you think there is only one way to raise a child?

Children need discipline, boundaries. They need a parent, someone to step in and establish that discipline and boundaries. But the parental relationship is so much more than that.

I am proud of the child I am raising, as my parents are proud of me, the child they raised. And I was not "scared straight." He will not be. He is being taught his own value, his own power, the golden rule, the value of education, and, above all, to think for himself, to question everything.

I would do the same for a daughter if I ever had one.

I don't think anyone ever said that it isn't our job to raise our children to be respectful. My boys are respectful and if they aren't, they get put in time out or get toys taken away. They know how to behave in public. Yep, all 3 of them... at the same time. Obviously they aren't perfect little angels. They are still kids so they mess up. That's where repetition comes in. I do not believe in scaring them into listening to me. If i treat them with respect, they treat me in the same way most of the time. . Intimidation is not a good parenting method.

Gender does not play a roll in how I raise my children. I would not automatically be harder on a girl. It's our job to treat our children as individuals. It's also our job to teach them that everyone (male or female) has value. Do you really want your daughter to grow up thinking that women aren't as good as men are? Do you want your son to grow up thinking that way?

Yes the world is scary. Yes people do bad stuff, but not all people are bad.