Quoting The (super kinky) Master:" I only answered with this because the girl I quoted (and many others) have said to sell up and move far away ... this wasn't just a random comment."
I wrote you a longer response earlier today but my computer hiccuped and i lost it all.
Anyway, I think that you FIRST must acknowledge your responsibility in this relationship that is terribly out of balance. There is nothing wrong with parents having a strong role in your life at 29, but the degree to which they control and manipualte you is unhealthy for both of you.
Second, you must develop a plan for how you can wean your parens from you as well as you from your parents. i dont know if you can do it without outside help as it seems very "thick."
There are very good books in the self-help section of bookstores that should be able to help you. Years ago, when i had a friend in a bad situation, the books she sought dealt with "co-dependency" and "toxic families." That may be where you need to start unless you can get EVERYONE in therapy that is constructive.
It's important for you to figure out a healthier lifestyle for the sake of your relationship as well as for your kids. Children shouldnt view their parents as being controlled by anyone.