dh's family sucks

I really try to tolerate them, but I do not like them.

Long story short: They live very close and they never visit with the kids, are not involved, come to DS's birthday party and not bring gifts, were 6 hours late for my baby shower, DH;s mom is a terrible decision maker and I DO NOT trust her with my kids alone, they don't respect me as a mother and the way I am raising my kids, his family never tried to earn my trust or have a relationship with me, DH's mom interjects herself in my marriage, told me she would spank my kids even if I am not raising them that way etc etc etc.

They try to blame me because they do not have a relationship with my kids when they were welcome to come here any time and are also welcome to go do things with myself or DH present. Anyway, yesterday at Thanksgiving my 10 month old would NOT go to anyone in his family, she did not even want to be put down at all the entire time. She would scream her head off if someone tried to hold her. It goes to show you how involved they were when DH's aunt didnt even know my 10 month old's name! They kept trying to force my baby to sit with them even though she was crying her head off. Like forcing themselves on her. They kept saying things like "you HAVE to learn to be with your family and learn to be away from mommy" then DH's sister screamed from the kitchen "YOU HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO BE WITH YOUR FAMILY AND NOT JUST MOMMY, WE ARENT GOING TO HAVE ANOTHER ONE OF "THOSE" IN THIS FAMILY" She was referring to my son when she was said "those".

I really can not stand them, at all!

I don't get how my 10mo wouldnt go to anyone in his entire family and right before that we were at my family's house where there was a ton of people my daughter never even met and did not have a problem going to anyone.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

Babies recognize people and if they don't know them they get shy and scared. That age is very normal for that. My son is 6 months and he is starting to get that way he likes me and his daddy my mom and brother. If he's tired or not feeling good he will start to fuss If someone he doesn't know is holding him