re: I feel like the evil step-mother

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" She's in that early pre teen stage... itts just lazyness... I remember cups piling up in my room because ... [snip!] ... motivate her in begining, my kids are young so they work for *happy faces* on chart and the occasional ice cream truck raid..."

I wish a happy face would be enough! But I remember being a slob too. But I got punished for it. I also got an allowance.

We tried the allowance. 10 bucks a week if her room was clean and dishwasher taken care of. She would rather have no money.

Punishments don't work because then she would just go to her mom's and stay there.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Nancy Botwin:</b>" I wish a happy face would be enough! But I remember being a slob too. But I got punished for it. I also ... [snip!] ... care of. She would rather have no money. Punishments don't work because then she would just go to her mom's and stay there. "</blockquote>




Is there anything she's interested in?? My mom stopped buying junkfood and sodas if I was on restriction... I'm a huge junkie... that used to hurt me waaay deep insde lol...

Quoting DeanJade&Maksims Momma:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Nancy Botwin:</b>" I wish a happy face would be enough! But ... [snip!] ... stopped buying junkfood and sodas if I was on restriction... I'm a huge junkie... that used to hurt me waaay deep insde lol..."

Lol. That's a good idea.

Quoting Nancy Botwin:" Your right. But this is my house. I can't sit back and be disrespected in it. Four years is a long time ... [snip!] ... with anything but that's on her time. I'm just going to stick with it, be consistent. Hopefully it will sink in soon enough. "

Hopefully it gets better for you guys. I am not saying let her get away with it whatsoever. I am saying with and 11 y/o pick the battles that are really important to you.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Nancy Botwin:</b>" Lol. That's a good idea. "</blockquote>




I was busting my ass even cleaning her bathroom and guest bathrooms to get some damn coke and some twinkies -_____- lol I understood why it was gross... but my pathetic lazyness was just too great...

I remember my mom saying something about how can I clean the hamsters cage twice a week, but can't take a dish to kitchen??
"Because I don't want him living in nasty stuff"
Then like a light bulb went on... I was dirtier than a hamster lol

You are not being mean at all. I was 3 years old cleaning up my room & by the time I was 6 I had regular chores to do every day. But that's because my dad taught me early & stayed on my case if I didn't do it. Her dad needs to be helping you inforce these rules. I wouldn't blame it fully on her mother, but if she lets her do whatever she wants then she probably expects the same from y'all.

I don't think you're being a bitch!
Set rules the rest of the kids in the house have to follow aswell. I don't think she should be staying up at all hrs of the night and destroying your kitchen. Also, if her mom doesn't have her do chores, it's ok if you do! She can Atleast pick up after herself.

my so is 24. he is a great dad and works hard but he is like that. he has severe adhd. he doesnt mean to be like this and he will clean if i point out everything.