re: Child Support.

Quoting ma ♥:" My opinion, if he's not asking to see him, forget the visitation AND the child support. To me, those ... [snip!] ... get a job for the sake of yourself AND the baby... Think of the long run, don't depend on another person to support your child."

I couldn't agree more with this!

They usually won't file abandonment until you haven't heard from him for a year...that's usually how my state works, anyway.

Talking about it here won't get you any answers until you talk to the lawyer. It sounds like you're getting frustrated with people here, but like I said, only you know what is really going on.

It's not as easy to terminate a parent's rights anymore unless they choose to do it. The courts will usually order child support and visits a few times before they jump to that, reworking the terms every time he gets in trouble/goes to jail. Unless he has physically harmed your son or is doing heavy drugs around him, usually the courts don't do their job. It's sad, but true.

Le double post.

This EXACTLY

Quoting Chroma Hex [+1]:" They usually won't file abandonment until you haven't heard from him for a year...that's usually how ... [snip!] ... has physically harmed your son or is doing heavy drugs around him, usually the courts don't do their job. It's sad, but true. "

I want to say it's 6 months in NC, but she lives in GA.
OP, you need to look up the grounds of termination in your state since they vary. Your serious best bet would be to do a consultation with a lawyer. My consultation was $75 and that money went towards the total cost of termination if I chose to do so.

You need to talk to a lawyer from your state. Some states don't allow termination of parental rights unless there's someone willing to adopt the child.

Quoting ma ♥:" My opinion, if he's not asking to see him, forget the visitation AND the child support. To me, those ... [snip!] ... get a job for the sake of yourself AND the baby... Think of the long run, don't depend on another person to support your child."

I do have a job, actually. I work very hard. But between supporting my son on my own and paying bills, money is tight. I feel like it should be his dad's responsibility to own up and pay his part since he took part in making our son. But I've made my decisions & I'm going to do what is right for our son. He doesn't need this constant let down from his own father and I will do what I have to to protect him from feeling that disappointment as he gets older.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Dylan'smommy011:</b>" I do have a job, actually. I work very hard. But between supporting my son on my own and paying bills, ... [snip!] ... let down from his own father and I will do what I have to to protect him from feeling that disappointment as he gets older. "</blockquote>



Not saying you're wrong per se, but this goes both ways. If you kick do somehow manage to involuntarily terminate his rights, your son may hold it against you when he is older. Think about this before you go this route. It is always better to have agreement when it comes to these things.

I have tried countless times to come to an agreement with him. He refuses to speak to me about it. #1, His girlfriend won't allow him to speak to me because he has tried to cheat on her so many times. #2, All he wants to do is argue and then try to turn things around on me. Like I said, My son doesn't even really care for him. Every time he comes home you can tell how emotionally exhausted he is. I know that it'll be up to my son to make that decision for himself, when he is older. But for right now, My son can't speak up for himself to his dad. I have too. & I am sick and tired of it. Him & his girlfriend both do nothing but cause problems. Everything would be fine right now if he'd just do what he is supposed to do as a father. But all he wants to do is play house. I'm tired of the drama. It's seriously getting old, and the only way to stop it is by doing this. & maybe this will make him realize how awful of a father he has been. When my son gets older, if he decides he wants something to do with his dad, then fine, he can do that and make that decision for himself. But for right now, I think it'd be better to protect him. Last time my son's dad had my son for the weekend, he was arrested right in front of my son. I got a phone call from a police officer telling me I needed to come get my son cause his dad was in jail. & it was for violence. That was the 2nd time in since August that he has been arrested for violence. And I can't allow that to happen anymore. I am being a bad mother by sitting here and letting him take advantage of our son's feelings like that. I'm not doing it anymore. My son gets all the attention he needs not only from my fiance and I, but from my whole family. His dad's side of the family however couldn't care less. He deserves way better than this, and I don't care what it takes I will fight for what is right for him.

Your son is too young to have an opinion in this matter. I feel bad for people in these situations, but hearing you say your son who is ridiculously young doesn't en like his father just struck such an intolerable note of discord in me, I can't even begin to express how horrible a remark that is.

Kids like their birth parents pretty much no matter what.
My son get super stressed with stomach aches and behavioral problems surrounding the time he spends with his BM. He says he likes her okay. When they are so young they cannot even fathom not liking someone. My boy is 8, and everyone he meets he likes. Every person he is introduced to he tells me is his friend. Kids just don't begin discriminating until they are older.

You cannot go making statements that your toddler who can't even express himself doesn't like his dad. This regardless of your intentions is parental alienation. He will come to his own conclusions when he is old enough. Just as my 8 yr old slowly is.