The day before Thanksgiving :(
posted 21st Nov
My father passed away this morning at about 2:00. I'm not even sure how to process this, and I haven't even thought of anything since it happened. I've just been sitting here, trying to keep busy. It's... odd. He had a serious stroke recently and has been disabled since I was young, and so now it's just... empty. I have no one I have to take care of right now, normally I'm running through hell and creation to do this and that for him. I think it's just now starting to hit me, I have a funeral to plan, I have a house to handle, bills to pay, but what I don't have is my daddy, and I'd do anything in the world to have him back. I've always been a daddy's girl, even though he can drive me up the wall with his dependency, but he can't help it, and I made him feel like smurf for it. I miss him, and I am not looking forward to it actually "hitting" me. 54 is far too young to go, and he never got to have a grandchild, I just feel like I failed him, because that's all he ever wanted was to hold his grandbaby, but I miscarried every time, and now he won't ever have that chance. I don't even know why I'm typing this, I guess just a vent, a way to come to terms, but it isn't helping.quotesmurfs?
I'm TTC since October '11, have 4 angel babies & live in North Carolina