Buttheads

My late fiance's family drives me up the wall. I have several old posts about them. He committed suicide, and I guess they blame that on me (not just speculation either, it was written publicly on my FACEBOOK). They say demeaning things to me, belittle me, yell at me in front of my son, have been physically aggressive, have offered me money to just leave my child with them, have called and "tattled" on me to my parents, taken away my property, harassed me, blah blah blah.

I don't like them. My son doesn't see them much, because they're just not good people. They tell him confusing nonsense about his father (he came home from their house once telling me it was all his fault that Daddy died...).

When my fiance died, we all decided (his parents, his brother, and me) that when we were ready, we'd all pick out the gravestone together. So I get a call a week or two ago and at the end, just as I'm saying goodbye, they tell me that the grave has been set in place and then end it with, "and there will be a blessing next Sunday, so if you could make it, that'd be nice" (in a real snotty tone).

Fine, whatever. I'm upset, that hurts, but you already did the whole thing without me and it's over and done with. The grave looks great, probably couldn't have done a better job myself. The attitude in the whole "that'd be nice" really ticked me off, but I already know you guys are smurfs anyway. So I'm mad, but feel like it's nothing to really lose my temper over anyway.

Fast forward to the day of the blessing (Sunday). My dad takes me up there, because I don't want to be alone with them for obvious reasons. We get to the gravesite for the blessing. NONE of my late fiance's friends were invited. It's just a bunch of people that neither of us really knew (his parents' friends). Kind of weird, but whatever. The Father (priest, not the dad) goes around and gives hugs and sympathies to everyone, except me. Nobody talks to me, and nobody really talks to my dad either.

After the ceremony we go to their house for dinner (hey, free food!). I notice that all of our family pictures have been removed and replaced with pictures of only my fiance and our son. Nobody talks to me. Nobody really talks to my dad. We are sat at a table off in the sun room, on the opposite side of the kitchen than the dining room, where EVERYONE else is eating. Nobody will sit by us. FOUR people even opted to STAND and eat in the dining room, because the only options available were the four seats at the same table as my dad and me.

Talk about uncomfortable and outright awkward.

Then at the end of the meal, they had the audacity to ask for an invitation to my family's Thanksgiving. Like seriously?! I told them no as cordially as I could (I said I was taking two other guests already--which is true), when really I wanted to say "smurf you, you smurfing pricks". But as always, I refuse to stoop to their smurf level.

Just so everyone knows (because I usually get the comments telling me I should avoid them and whatnot), I only went because it was in honor of my late fiance. I felt that his son and I should be there, out of love and respect to him. I really didn't want to go, because I hate his parents. But at the end of the day, I decided that since it was for him, I would endure those couple of hours.

My heart breaks for you. That is the most cold hearted smurf I have ever heard. You did right. Kudos to you for being the bigger person.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and so sorry you have to deal with that  


Now that the blessing's over, can you just avoid them? You and your child don't need that nonsense :/

so sorry you have to go through all of that crap. i understand why you went, but from now on i'd be done with them. And heck no, i wouldn't invite them to my thanksgiving. I feel bad that your son is apart of a family that treats you so poorly. Best of luck with dealing with them if you choose to keep them apart of your life.

Im so sorry you have to go threw that, I think it would be amazing if you could organize some sort of celebration of your fiance life with his closest friends because obviously they dont know what mattered to him, you or his son. You need to honor him and mourn him. I hope you get to do that.. *hugs. * and I totally wouldnt have any contact with them after this, they need a reality check. have they always been like this?

That's awful I'm sorry for your loss! At least you are mature enough to see the big picture hopefully they will get over their misplaced anger and do what's right for the sake of you and your son