true confessions

I had a bad mommy moment last week. DD and I were at a playdate on the holiday monday (Canadian Rememberance Day) and there were 8 toddlers and 8 moms in a small basement suite so needless to say it was loud and crazy. When we got home it was time for lunch and she was throwing food everywhere and not eating. I totally lost my cool. I picked her up to take her up to bed for nap and did it too rough and she bumped her head on my chin and I didn't say "sorry" right away because I was feeling pissed. A few seconds later I realised we were both totally exhausted and overstimulated and I did apologise and we cuddled and she went down for nap in like 5 minutes but I felt SO BAD because I don't usually get mad and she is just a baby still (19 months).

My midwifes made me feel SO MUCH BETTER when I went to see them on Thursday. I told her what I was feeling guilty about and she said I should be proud that that was the first time I snapped at her because by 19 months most people have lost thier cool more than once! LOL!

Anyway... a friend of mine shared this article and I LOVE IT! Because it really makes me feel better about not being perfect or being able to do it all:

http://www.pregnantchicken.com/2012/11/9/why-youre-never-failing-as-a-mother

A little while back, DS was laying on my chest sleeping while I was laying on the couch. I didn't even feel tired, but I fell asleep. I woke up like 2 minutes later because DS was crying, and he was on his tummy on the floor. I freaked out and picked him up, then started bawling my eyes out. Our couch is SUPER low to the floor and he was totally fine, but I felt like the absolute worst parent ever. I won't let myself lay on the couch with him anymore, I always sit up. And I won't lay with him on my chest if I'm even the littlest bit tired at all. It was the scariest moment of my life.