how do you keep the relationship healthy?

After you have kids? How do people keep their marriages healthy? How can people want to have sex with their spouses? I hate my husband so much right now. I feel that he uses me for sex. Otherwise he is a jerk. and i dont have sex because I feel no intimacy toward him. I don't want the marriage to fail but I don't feel he is supportive emotionally. Financially sure. But my life and happiness does not revolve around money. He doesn't do smurf with our kids and he makes it seem inconvenient to put our daughter to bed, rock the baby to sleep or give either of them one on one attention. All he throws in my face is how he has a job and i dont. But if i get a job.. then really he has nothing to brag about. I feel like I'm wasting my life away being here because he discourages me from going to school, getting a job (yet throws it in my face that I'm
6 weeks PP and STILL not working.) Ugh I just hate him. I don't know how people make it work. Not only that, I have no energy for him or time to care.

I have this same problem. I just leave when my hate gets too strong. We go visit my gram or my inlaws or my sister.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥ darah ♥:</b>" After you have kids? How do people keep their marriages healthy? How can people want to have sex with ... [snip!] ... working.) Ugh I just hate him. I don't know how people make it work. Not only that, I have no energy for him or time to care."</blockquote>




You just described how I felt about my marriage 0.0 I'm getting a separation after I found his emails to other people, and was just trying to save up until I could go on my own. I would go get that job and get that education. He don't like it then tough titty!

My SO didnt much handle LO until he got bigger. He is mostly used for play time, tiring him out, making and washing bottles.

All you have to do is find a medium between everything. Baby is still a new thing so its hard to get back on routine.

What we do is have our time apart to keep the time together enjoyable...if that makes sense. I go out without baby to a friends house for a few hours, come back and I am in a much better mood. Same with him.

We don't have sex a lot, but I am okay with that. I have toys, but usually when we have alone time, we just like to relax and chill out.

You make sure there is time just for you guys. It takes a strong central relationship to handle kids, so you have to work not only on the Mom and Dad roles, but on just the two of YOU.

I'd sit down with him and talk about it. There seems to be a lot of problems for you right now. Maybe some couples counseling? You need to be willing to put the work and time into the relationship if you want to get something good out of it, you know?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Gir!:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥ darah ♥:</b>" After you have kids? How do people ... [snip!] ... to save up until I could go on my own. I would go get that job and get that education. He don't like it then tough titty!"</blockquote>



Yeah I think I'm about ready to do the same. I've gone to school but don't want to do what I went for so I want to go back really bad and take something fun even if its not a cash cow (looking at photography.)

<blockquote><b>Quoting ♥ darah ♥:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting Gir!:</b>" <blockquote><b>Quoting ♥ darah ... [snip!] ... do what I went for so I want to go back really bad and take something fun even if its not a cash cow (looking at photography.)"</blockquote>




Go for it! I've decided to not let myself rely on someone else, even if that means being homeless. You have to make yourself happy, too you know?

We spend time together when the kids are in bed. We do nice, thoughtful things for each other.
I'm a SAHM so I try to let him rest when he has a day off, but since I'm a SAHM he tries to help out a lot when he's home.
It takes teamwork, IMO. We try to keep each other from getting stressed, we're supportive of one another.
And we make a point of being romantic, with cute texts, kissing, etc.

I'm sorry   dude... idk but I would hate him too. Being financially there alone just doesn't cut it...