how do you face pro-lifers in your life

i have a very religious/republican family.
I have never been too close with them (my gramma/cousins etc) but lately i have been trying to get to know them.

well they are verrrry pro life.
i think if i ever said i had an abortion they would kick me out if i were visiting them. the argument always comes up, and one always posts links on his FB about prolife things. im kind of torn, because i used to be pro life, or very confused at least, so i find it hard to dismiss his arguments.

they are very good people.
it makes me feel like a sinner and an evil person, like if they knew who i was (not only the abortion but atheist, that kind of thing) that they would think i was some sort of devil spawn lol.

well anyway what im getting to, its not as easy as ignoring them. i know there are people out there (quite a few) who believe abortions are bad. i can get over that. its that these are directly in my life, and i feel like if i surround myself with people that agree with me or my choices then its very....idk just not right. biased. i would be ignorant if i made that into a practice.

so i try not to ignore it, but it kind of hurts.

wondering, ethically that is....what is a life worth?
not that i regret it, or owe them anything.
idk. not sure im making too much sense.



anyone follow?

I follow. What I do is not get into that conversation with my family members that are prolife if at all possible. And then if I do I don't tell them my belief

Honestly you lost me towards the end but you don't have to disclose your past or your views to anyone

yeah i dont think i could tell them, none of us need that stress.

idk its just, i feel like i cant blow off their opinion, because its just as valid as mine.
i feel to be an informed and reasonable human i need to balance these issues by looking at the other side, their side. idk it hurts, and i feel so wrong when i do. i feel like dirty-or a sinner.

which i know is nonsense, i dont believe in god.

but i dont know what i think about life-the meaning or value. maybe thats what im getting stuck on. where i stand ethically, i mean. idk.

thinking about it bumms me out.

None of their business about either of those.Those are very personal and private things that you shouldn't be judged for because you have the right to make those choices. i don't judge anyone for doing what they have done for whatever reason.

People like that who's views are based on ignorance will never be able to accept anything that goes against what they believe... So I just remove myself from any conversation like this.

Quoting Ellie Shikari:" People like that who's views are based on ignorance will never be able to accept anything that goes against what they believe... So I just remove myself from any conversation like this. "

no i think you are not following me....
his views are based along with many others on his religion and the importance of that life. its a valid enough reason to be pro life, when you view the life of the baby higher than the mothers "body" or whatever. i can certainly see where he is coming from. all life is sacred and it is, or should be- in their mind murder. its just accepted by society.
i dont think he is ignorant, he just has different values.
I would be the ignorant one to remove myself from any conversation like this i believe. only surrounding myself with things i agree with, idk thats not right.

but it is hard for me to expose myself to it without feeling really bad.

idk i just thought about ethics some more last night, and idk i definitely view the world differently than he does. I am comfortable with my way of thinking but i do know its more calloused than most, so it does make me wonder if maybe im overcompensating to help me cope with the world in general. i mean more than the abortion, my first loss, death in general. its hard when you dont have a religion. anyway when i was a kid i would view life as sacred too, every living thing, i would save animals if i could....even a tree branch once lol. i think it just hurts because my value, what life means(or meant) to me, is completely shattered. im not sure what i think, or if this calloused view is what i really think or like i said if its just me coping.

Your post really confuses me since at one point it sounds like you don't want to be judged and at another you don't care if they disagree with what you have done. yet you agree with their beliefs but then you don't. maybe it's just me not getting it but it seems very back and forth.

Quoting Andrea0510:" Your post really confuses me since at one point it sounds like you don't want to be judged and at another ... [snip!] ... done. yet you agree with their beliefs but then you don't. maybe it's just me not getting it but it seems very back and forth."

haha yes, this is the point.

not really sure how to face things like this, because it is very back and forth i suppose. i mean, what i believe, there is no right and wrong, it really depends on the individual. i guess im just struggling with my own stance or whether or not im ignoring the way i really feel, or if i really honestly dont care. or if i dont then should i?

believe it or not, this is actually productive, working it out back and forth is helping me realize what is really upsetting me, so thank you all for your help.