I just don't know.**LONG**

**DONT QUOTE**
So I was with my ex-fiancee for 3.5 years, it would have been 4 in May. He cheated on me in October of 2010 and I let it go because as far as I know it was strictly talking and nothing physical. Well we worked on it for the kids, and he decided that we should move near his family 2.5 hours from my home. I agreed and said I would try it. Well that was a complete failure and we ended up being evicted and I maxed out two credit cards and had to take out a loan. When we got evicted we moved into his sisters one bedroom basement which means 4 people in a one bedroom basement. He cheated while we were living in the basement. As I am over two hours away from my family sleeping in a basement for him, he went out and messed with another girl. I know for a fact it was oral, but I suspect intercourse also. He told me that when I was driving home to wait tables every Saturday so we could feed the kids, he went to a strip club and blew $150. So pretty much I moved there to get screwed over. I chose to try to forgive him and move on but I just can't let it go. I uprooted myself and more importantly our children to be with him. I moved back home without him over a month ago and have since paid off the loan, our furniture, made a huge dent in our credit cards, and am living on my own with the kids completely stable. I broke up with him last week and it is killing me. I honestly think the reason he was with me for so long is because if he was out of work, I paid everything. Everything including his car payment, insurance, phone, food, and anything else he may need. I am just at a loss. I feel like I would be better off without him but it is so hard to just accept everything that has happened and that our happy little family was only happy on my side. I want to be with him but don't think I should. I can't trust him and that is valid from my standpoint. According to him I broke up with him because I can't love myself so I don't love him. He doesn't realize that he has a very large part in my problems. The only thing he got mad about during the breakup was that I put it on Facebook. I'm just lost right now, without him. I miss him, but my resentment has grown so strong that I had to at least take a break so that I don't eventually hate him. Sorry for the rambling and typos, the wine is somewhat kicking in.

I think you're doing the right thing. Eventually it won't hurt so bad. Then not at all.  

Breakups are hard. Take it one day at a time, trust me, your feelings will pass.

Quoting loser mom:" I think you're doing the right thing. Eventually it won't hurt so bad. Then not at all.  "

I know, it is just so hard. Now I have the kids full time and he only sees them when it is convenient. It sucks for them and I feel like I am the cause of it, you know? I am just getting worn down already. Between work, school, and the kids, and my dog who managed to break two of her toes life is crazy right now. He didn't do anything when he was here which is why I don't understand why I feel like I am missing something.

Quoting Shannonsfirst:" Breakups are hard. Take it one day at a time, trust me, your feelings will pass."

Thank you.

Quoting My Girls♥:" I know, it is just so hard. Now I have the kids full time and he only sees them when it is convenient. ... [snip!] ... right now. He didn't do anything when he was here which is why I don't understand why I feel like I am missing something. "

it's grieving, probably. Even though you broke it off, you still "lost him" in a sense. Just give it time.

Quoting loser mom:" it's grieving, probably. Even though you broke it off, you still "lost him" in a sense. Just give it time."

Thank you

You didn't break up with him because you can't love yourself! You broke up with him because he cheated! You deserve to be with someone who treats you and your family with as much respect as you give them. Don't let him try and convince you this is your fault. And sorry for your hurt.

Quoting JeNnAs MoMoM:" You didn't break up with him because you can't love yourself! You broke up with him because he cheated! ... [snip!] ... family with as much respect as you give them. Don't let him try and convince you this is your fault. And sorry for your hurt."

That's what I said. He keeps making this out to be my fault because I have a "bad attitude" sometimes and it drives him away. It's been the same since we got together, he said so himself, so I don't see why it is such a problem now. Thank you though, he is driving me insane lol.