help me! Vulnerable post. *weight*

Okay, I want soo badly to lose weight. I know exactly what I need to do and how I need to eat. I've done it before. My issue is will power.

Before you call me fat, lazy, disgusting, and completely unmotivated for letting myself get this way, I don't eat because I have an insatiable need for nasty, greasy, sugar filled foods, I am an emotional eater ever since I was young. I will not go into the reasons WHY I needed food to comfort me.

Now, who can help me? Before I eat something I know that I will not be happy with myself and that I am NOT hungry. While I'm eating it I feel like smurf and want to hide. After I eat it I feel so sick and disgusted with myself that I often trick myself into not believing that I did, indeed, just eat that. I will WANT to go get on my treadmill, but don't. WTF is wrong with me?! Why can't I just tell myself no. Why can't I find a hobby and choose to do that when I need to instead?

I neeeeeed some tips on how to be proactive and to overpower urges. I honestly believe that because I've used eating as a crutch for so long that it's become an unhealthy addiction. It's hard to make good choices during an active addiction to something that you cannot abstain from. Okay, fine, just DO IT, right? I need to break down my blocking thoughts. HOW in the world can I do this?!

I just can't live like this anymore. My mind is fighting my body and it's losing. It's almost surreal, like I have no control of that hand to mouth movement. I'll be saying, no...that's all I'm going to have and before I can finish saying that there goes my hand again.  

It's rough and the first few weeks are the hardest especially when controlling portions because you feel hungry a lot. After that though, it's much easier! you can do it!

Quoting Devil's Advocate:" It's rough and the first few weeks are the hardest especially when controlling portions because you feel hungry a lot. After that though, it's much easier! you can do it!"

Thanks! I'm just at a point in my life where I hate myself, but I don't care enough to change it or do the work. All of my energy is going elsewhere and I need to focus on myself. Hopefully I succeed!

Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" Thanks! I'm just at a point in my life where I hate myself, but I don't care enough to change it or ... [snip!] ... enough to change it or do the work. All of my energy is going elsewhere and I need to focus on myself. Hopefully I succeed!"

Start by saying you WILL succeed! And you know your eating triggers which makes it easier to control them  

I am sooooooooo in your boat    

After you get off your addiction to carbs (takes week or two) you can do it! I'm in the same place. I was beautiful skinny over the summer then I gained 10lbs.

Quoting Devil's Advocate:" Start by saying you WILL succeed! And you know your eating triggers which makes it easier to control them  "

Okay, I WILL succeed!  

Yes, it's easier. Once my mind and body become one I will be good. My mind is like 10 miles a minute while my body is 1 mile a minute s by the time I get finished thnking and knowing tha it's bad, it's already done. lol

I am an emotional eater too. My mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer again 3 years after finishing treatments, and I could eat my smurfing house right now(like all of the food in it).
I have been trying not to keep that type of food, sweet carbs and salty carbs, around. I have veggies and fruit for snack. Today I folded and had to get a chocolate chip frappe from McD's, and decided I was going to ruin my diet this week since Thursday is turkey day. And start clean monday.

I also find it easier to stick to a diet if I have a "plan" written out for me. Like I am doing the 17 day diet. I just need to keep telling myself that I am obese and looking in the mirror naked, I hate it but it makes me want to loose weight.

ETA: Another thing is that it is easier after being on a diet for a week because by then your stomach starts getting smaller. Like I definitely can't eat as much now as I could before I started my diet.

Quoting [JadeLee]:" I am an emotional eater too. My mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer again 3 years after finishing ... [snip!] ... need to keep telling myself that I am obese and looking in the mirror naked, I hate it but it makes me want to loose weight."

It's good you have a plan, but I've lost the weight before. I need more than a plan. I need to figure out how to change my thinking and find new coping skills etc. If I don't, I'll just gain the weight back AGAIN. Every time you gain the weight back you end up higher than you were before.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Stl mama:</b>" After you get off your addiction to carbs (takes week or two) you can do it! I'm in the same place. I was beautiful skinny over the summer then I gained 10lbs."</blockquote>


10 pounds is not something to worry about.

OP- I'm in the exact same boat. I feel like I can't keep going down this track but I'm still on it. If you figure something out to help please let me know.

Quoting Spoonful of Jayson:" It's good you have a plan, but I've lost the weight before. I need more than a plan. I need to figure ... [snip!] ... If I don't, I'll just gain the weight back AGAIN. Every time you gain the weight back you end up higher than you were before."

I am sure that will happen to me too. I suck at self motivation when it comes to not eating wrong. McD's is just so much easier when I am on the road and such though, on my way to class or work or LO's dance lessons, or on the way to Walmart.

Quoting White Chocolate Milk:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Stl mama:</b>" After you get off your addiction to carbs (takes ... [snip!] ... I feel like I can't keep going down this track but I'm still on it. If you figure something out to help please let me know."

Ummm, it can be?

10lbs of fat can drastically change how you look, especially if you're smaller.

This is me after losing just 9lbs.

Quoting Stl mama:" After you get off your addiction to carbs (takes week or two) you can do it! I'm in the same place. I was beautiful skinny over the summer then I gained 10lbs."

I was beautiful and never skinny in High School, then I had a kid, and a fiance and gained 60 pounds. I am sure you just made NO ONE feel better about their weight.

Quoting [JadeLee]:" I am sure that will happen to me too. I suck at self motivation when it comes to not eating wrong. McD's ... [snip!] ... much easier when I am on the road and such though, on my way to class or work or LO's dance lessons, or on the way to Walmart."

Yeah, I get it. I had to stop getting fast food. Now I only get it on the way home frm the bar. lol

Quoting Devil's Advocate:" Ummm, it can be? 10lbs of fat can drastically change how you look, especially if you're smaller. This is me after losing just 9lbs. "

I guess it doesn't look all that different to me. Sorry.