So I'm just wondering if anybody else deals with this. I'm starting to think I have anxiety issues. If it's not anxiety, I don't know what it is. I always feel rushed, I can't relax. It's almost like I feel guilty when I do. I'm paraniod and always looking for people's motives. I try not to but I can't control it. I torture myself :/ And sometimes, I push myself way too far just to say I did it. Just to prove to myself that I can. I feel crazy. I don't feel like myself but the strange thing is, I've never felt like myself. So I don't know who I even am, really. It kinda bothers me that I can get along with anybody. I blend with people so good. It's annoying. I wish I could just be "me". My biggest fear is that I will never change. Sorry for the rant.
I am exactly the same... I am working really hard with myself to overcome it. I've had these same feelings as long as. As I can remember. Don't have much advice, but just get over it honestly.. I still have the feelings, but I try not to question it or the people around me, and I remind myself its all in my head.
i was just trying to describe this exact feeling to my SO yesterday. You did a better job than me, i'll have to show him your post. It sucks, for example; even on the odd occasion he DOES offer to get up with the kids I tell him not to bother, because I feel like I'll owe him or something. Or like then I won't be the invincible mom who never needs a break. I don't even know. I just feel horrible guilt about it and like he must have some ulterior motive. It's the same with everything. and I'll just agree with/get along with everyone because i'm too much of a pussy to state my opinion. I HATE HATE HATE it. I can't help you, because I don't know WHAT to do, but I feel for you