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I think the only thing wrong is the fact you keep taking him back. He obviously is not going to change, so dump his smurfing ass.

I don't think you're wrong but I don't understand how it's going to help. If he wants to cheat and continue doing what he's been doing he will find a way with or without the phone. And with him so far away it sounds like you're going to worry the whole time anyways.

Honestly it sounds like he is a sex addict. He needs professional help, taking his phone won't do smurf.

even if he gets rid of the phone, he'll find other ways to cheat.

If he's been unfaithful that much, ridding him of his phone isn't going to make it stop, he will find other ways. (Just speaking from experience) I don't think you should put yourself back in that painful situation. If I were you i'd focus on building a stable life for you and the children and let him have his whores.

In my opinion, I think you are focusing too much on the phone and NOT the fact that he has a problem which has nothing to do with a phone. If I were in that situation, he wouldn't be welcome in my life in anyway other then the father of my children. But if you think you can trust him again with him just not having a smart phone?!?!? then you have to do what is right for you.

Honestly, I would not try to fix the relationship at all. It would be over. Especially with that many women!! The trust is gone there and phone or no phone it will not come back.

If he's done that much, I doubt he will change. If you do decide to give him a chance though, I agree the phone has to go. When my dh was doing something similar (though not nearly as bad!) it was because he was depressed and didn't really get that the people on the computer were real. That the words and pictures were REAL and they really hurt me. He would enter this little make believe world, then I found out, and it all blew up.

I locked him out of computer and phone for almost 5 months. He was ok with it because he knew he had a problem and that the computer was like a bar for an alcoholic. That and lots of therapy have taken us a long way.

Why would you ever attempt to try? He has shown you several times that he doesn't want to be faithful to you. Dump him.

That device isn't what's wrong, your husband is why your marriage is failing. Once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater. If he's done this to you all along, he's not going to change his ways cos a) he's unhappy with your marriage if he's seeking pleasure elsewhere and b) you continue to take his sorry ass back. I would divorce that SOB and find a REAL man who would treat you like a queen.

Honestly, and I know you don't want to hear this. BUT he doesnt care.. he's going to keep doing this. It's been a LONG pattern in your relationship. I doubt asking him to downgrade to a flip phone will change what he is doing. Cut ties. It's hard but he doesn't respect you and him professing change to his mother isn't changing that behavior. Just go now, you'll have less heartache.

Quoting loser mom:" even if he gets rid of the phone, he'll find other ways to cheat."

 

If he wants to cheat, he will find a way.

Please please run in the other direction and don't look back. You will not be more happy with yourself when you bump into that man that's going to love you too much to even consider thinking thoughts about someone else. Give yourself the chance to meet someone that you wouldn't if you take him back... YOU'RE KICKING YOUR OWN ASS GIRLFRIEND

I know ladies that even the thought of giving him a second chance well like 34666349 chance is stupid. But as I am pregnant with our 3rd child I just cant help but think IF he really is sincere this time of not giving him the chance for our childrens sake to have there father around 24/7! As for a stable life the kids and I are doing awesome here in Ohio while he lives in PA we have our own life already there father has been out of state for 3 months now he visits once a month for about 5-7 days top and back to PA he goes. I know the Phone is not the issue that he has a sex addiciton and he is also Bipolar and needs to see a Dr again for medication/ therapy etc. I guess my question should of be am I wrong for asking him to give up his phone as the FIRST step to many! That to me I guess would show he really does want this to work ...... As I read all the replies though and I use rational thought ... probably was stupid to even just consider he could change! I do pray someday though he realizes all the hurt he has caused not only myself but our children ... and I hate to think our new son he will miss it all because his head is in the wrong place!