What is wrong with me?

I've been a SAHM for about 3 years now. I've had 2 jobs in between that only lasted a couple of months - so I've basically just been stuck in the house. It's driving me absolutely insane!

I'm starting to feel really overwhelmed and anxious. I feel super disconnected from R. He is becoming bored and acting out which then sends me into a panic attack and I get angry. I don't feel like playing with him, I don't feel like doing arts and crafts, nothing. I would rather sit on the couch all day and do nothing - but obviously that doesn't work with a child running around. I just have no energy or motivation to do anything. I barely even clean anymore.

What the hell is wrong with me? Why don't I want to interact with my child who I love dearly? Is this normal? I have battled with depression before but I have never stayed medicated.

What are some things I can do to help my situation? I don't have money and supplies and all the jazz that I see on Pinterest to keep your kid entertained. I just feel like a loser mom and I want to give up.

It sounds like you are going into depression and/or just getting lazy from being home so much and you are getting into the habit of doing nothing. Just force yourself up to get stuff done. OR go get a part time job or something.

Quoting *B & D Mommy*:" It sounds like you are going into depression and/or just getting lazy from being home so much and you ... [snip!] ... are getting into the habit of doing nothing. Just force yourself up to get stuff done. OR go get a part time job or something."

It's not really so much about getting stuff done around the house - I'm more worried with my loss of interest of my son. It's not that I don't love him, I'm just always in a blah mood that I never feel up to anything. A simple walk in a stroller would make his day, but I won't do it.

I would get a part-time job but that means I would have to put R in daycare so my entire paycheck would most likely go to that. I just can't justify that.

Quoting green mama☮:" It's not really so much about getting stuff done around the house - I'm more worried with my loss of ... [snip!] ... but that means I would have to put R in daycare so my entire paycheck would most likely go to that. I just can't justify that. "

Well it wouldn't matter too much honestly because you don't have the paycheck in the first place. It would get you out of the house and get your son the interaction and attention he needs. And trust me, you will love the short break and start missing him and enjoy the time more with him when you pick him up

Quoting *B & D Mommy*:" Well it wouldn't matter too much honestly because you don't have the paycheck in the first place. It ... [snip!] ... needs. And trust me, you will love the short break and start missing him and enjoy the time more with him when you pick him up"

That's true - but it would be nice to bring home some extra cash. He's been in daycare before and absolutely LOVED it but then I was starting to get depressed about that too because I felt I wasn't raising him because he was there 7 hours of the day. He came home, ate dinner, took a bath, and went to bed. I hated it.

I guess nothing can make me happy.  

Quoting green mama☮:" That's true - but it would be nice to bring home some extra cash. He's been in daycare before and absolutely ... [snip!] ... hours of the day. He came home, ate dinner, took a bath, and went to bed. I hated it. I guess nothing can make me happy.  "

It happens! Trust me..it would be great for the both of you! I work nine hour days except on thursdays when I have my half day. I totally know how it feels. But it helps so much when I go pick my kids up and they are all smiles and excited to see me. Once you get the routine and everything down and see how much it benefits him..you will love it! And you will cherish your time and days off more with him.

Quoting *B & D Mommy*:" It happens! Trust me..it would be great for the both of you! I work nine hour days except on thursdays ... [snip!] ... everything down and see how much it benefits him..you will love it! And you will cherish your time and days off more with him. "

You're right. But until I can find a job - what should I do? I know I can just force myself to get up and do stuff with him, but I can't even think of any ideas.

Quoting green mama☮:" You're right. But until I can find a job - what should I do? I know I can just force myself to get up and do stuff with him, but I can't even think of any ideas."

I'm assuming it is pretty warm where you live? Go to the park...take a walk there. Fresh air is always nice. Or do you have a yard? Go play outside. Do you have playdough?

<blockquote><b>Quoting *B & D Mommy*:</b>" I'm assuming it is pretty warm where you live? Go to the park...take a walk there. Fresh air is always nice. Or do you have a yard? Go play outside. Do you have playdough? "</blockquote>


We play outside a lot in the yard but it does get old. I need to make a trip to the dollar store and get some supplies or something.

Quoting green mama☮:" <blockquote><b>Quoting *B & D Mommy*:</b>" I'm assuming it is pretty warm where you ... [snip!] ... outside a lot in the yard but it does get old. I need to make a trip to the dollar store and get some supplies or something."

Yeah that would be good! Let him pick out the toys