Being Bald

So, I really don't care to discuss with my family (beyond my parents and in-laws) the state of my health (I have cancer) recently after starting chemo I decided since I was already losing hair so I might as well shave it off. Some of my friends asked me in messages and the one's I felt I was close enough with I shared my diagnosis with. I didn't openly advertise "HEY I'M GETTING CHEMO!" my aunt decided to throw in my face last week that I was an embarassment to my family, and lately I've been getting comments in public about how I look "disgusting". I don't know how to handle this, I didn't know I was supposed to wear a sign around my neck saying "HEY I'VE BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH CANCER, I'M GOING THROUGH TREATMENT!" I really don't even know how to respond to the negative comments and reactions. I really would love to come back with hateful comments, but I want to be better than that too, and I don't want to make them feel like smurfs because they didn't know about something I hadn't told them. Any suggestions?

Just tell them. Say I didn't want everyone knowing but since its become an issue I thought it was time to share. They should feel like smurfs for giving you smurf in the first place. I'm sorry you had to deal with that on top of everything else. Stay strong

If you aren't going to let people in, everyone is going to wonder or make judgements. It's human nature. The only way to prevent this is to open up. In your case I would let all the people who love me and care about me know maybe through a chain email or Facebook message for those I view as being that close.

See, you opened up on here and I'm just some random prick. I am sorry to hear what you are going through, but as we are strangers I won't be losing sleep. But people who love you will and they need to know.

What type of cancer, if you don't mind me asking?

Quoting Safka9973:" If you aren't going to let people in, everyone is going to wonder or make judgements. It's human nature. ... [snip!] ... people who love me and care about me know maybe through a chain email or Facebook message for those I view as being that close."

I just would rather not have preferential treatment due to me having cancer, I hate being treated like I'm unable to function, that's the main reason I've kept the amount of people who know to a minimum, it's honestly irritating when people want to do EVERYTHING for you. I mean I'm thankful for the love and support, it's just I need to prove to myself that I can do it, and most of my family doesn't understand that.

What a bunch of dicks. Even if you had just shaved your head for fun- whose concern is it? People can be so petty.


I'd maybe just throw out a "yeah, well, I actually have cancer... So..."


But whatever. Bald is beautiful.

Quoting Safka9973:" See, you opened up on here and I'm just some random prick. I am sorry to hear what you are going through, ... [snip!] ... won't be losing sleep. But people who love you will and they need to know. What type of cancer, if you don't mind me asking?"

lmao...yeah, I did open up on here, but since I know only 2 people on here in person, I'm not to worried that you'll be giving me "special treatment".

Ovarian Cancer T2a.

I don't want people to worry about me...and the people I did care about worrying about me, I have told. My husband and immediate family members as well as my in-laws. My other family never even comes to visit me, and I don't want people to "Pity" visit me. In all honesty it makes me really agrivated when people are like "Oh, poor you...I'm so sorry you got diagnosed." in my opinion if it wasn't me it'd just be someone else...smurf happens...it's treatable...I'll get over it...hence the reason I don't ask for help.

<blockquote><b>Quoting .:ANIMAL:.:</b>" I just would rather not have preferential treatment due to me having cancer, I hate being treated like ... [snip!] ... for the love and support, it's just I need to prove to myself that I can do it, and most of my family doesn't understand that."</blockquote>




Tell them and then be a dickwad yourself when they treat you like an incompetent fool. They will learn pretty quick. All they want is to show their love and support. Let them know your boundaries!

My mom can be a nasty b an make terrible comments at my expense, but that's just her [horrid] character flaw. I know she loves me and wants the best for me.

Quoting Dr. Paradigm Shift:" What a bunch of dicks. Even if you had just shaved your head for fun- whose concern is it? People can ... [snip!] ... can be so petty. I'd maybe just throw out a "yeah, well, I actually have cancer... So..." But whatever. Bald is beautiful."

Thanks, lol that's what my husband has kept telling me. "Bald is beautiful." he even let me shave his head with the clippers the other day which made me smile...It's kind of heart-warming to know that he loves me enough to be go bald with me.   He doesn't treat me any different than before either, I love that about him.

Quoting Safka9973:" <blockquote><b>Quoting .:ANIMAL:.:</b>" I just would rather not have preferential ... [snip!] ... incompetent fool. They will learn pretty quick. All they want us to how their love and support. Let them know your boundaries!"

You make a good point. I'll keep that in mind.

They shouldn't feel like smurfs because they didn't know your diagnosis

ETA: sent too soon
They should feel like smurfs for judging you off of a shaved head. What a bunch of twat waffles. I completely understand why you wouldn't want to advertise it. Do what makes you feel comfortable and forget everyone else.

And hey- I am sad to hear you are going through this. You're young and should be pretty strong. You've got a bunch going in your favor. Hope treatment goes quickly and you recover fast

<blockquote><b>Quoting .:ANIMAL:.:</b>" lmao...yeah, I did open up on here, but since I know only 2 people on here in person, I'm not to worried ... [snip!] ... wasn't me it'd just be someone else...smurf happens...it's treatable...I'll get over it...hence the reason I don't ask for help."</blockquote>




You sound like a very strong person. Just tell them exactly what you said here. I'm bald because I have cancer. Now lets move on.

Quoting A&J. ♥:" They shouldn't feel like smurfs because they didn't know your riagn"

riagn? Yeah I know some of them shouldn't, like the random strangers, but calling me an embarassment regardless of diagnosis or not, is still really cruel for a family member to say in my opinion...I mean I know of other family members who are probably goofy looking but I've never straight up said, "He dork, you look like an ass!" that's just rude.

Quoting A&J. ♥:" They shouldn't feel like smurfs because they didn't know your diagnosis ETA: sent too soon They ... [snip!] ... I completely understand why you wouldn't want to advertise it. Do what makes you feel comfortable and forget everyone else."

LMAO!!! TWATWAFFLES! 0.0 I'm totally using that when I get cut off in traffic next time! roflmao...or when someone is being an ass. heehee.