re: What does your DH/SO do..

Quoting shes*almost*one!:" he absolutely LOVES it. when he was just a firefighter he worked a LOT, like 90 hours a week. took every ... [snip!] ... he's a captain, sitting pretty, making $$$$$ and working just 40 hours a week. two 24 hour shifts in 8 days = 40 hours a week"

Thats how my uncle works, too - he pulls a 40 - 45 hour week in a 2 1/2 day weekend. He is a single dad who has full custody of his kids, though, so it's perfect for him. (He also co-owns a dog salon with my mom, but thats on their property and he comes and goes as he pleases).

My husband runs his own business and I am a SAHM. He goes to work at 7am and comes home at 8-10pm, it depends. When he gets home he jumps right on the phone, iPad or computer to answer e-mails or take phone calls for work. Sometimes he will lay down with DS to put him to sleep but as far as baths and stuff I do all of that with both kids. He empties the dishwasher every morning, takes out the trash/recyclables on trash day and sometimes he will do laundry. He does not spend much time with me or the kids (which bothers me) because he is always so busy with work. It stinks and sometimes I get resentful, but I am learning to not expect anything from him when he is home. If he does something to help, GREAT, but if not I don't get my panties in a bunch.

Should I feel resentful or even expect him to help out when he works so much?

My husband is a monitor of a night shift at a company that makes pipes for oil drilling. He works 12 hour shifts from 6pm to 6am 4 days one week 3 days the next week but usually does one to two days of overtime and has to go to lots of meetings so he isn't home a whole lot well he is but he is sleeping. He doesn't help out with the house much unless I ask him to normally I just have him play with Dorothy while I clean when he is off work.

My Dh works out of town installing kitchen equipment in pf changs restaurants. He works between 60-80 hours a week. So when he's here Wednesday-Saturday I don't expect him to do anything aside from spending time with Lo. But he does put his dirty laundry in the washing machine for me when he gets home. Because I'm super sensitive to smells right now and I can't handle the grease lol.

Quoting ♡Sarah♡ + 2:" Last sentence says she works 30 hours a week and goes to school full time."

lol, apparently I have reading problems! can I blame the kids distracting me?

Quoting LolaMcKitten:" Thats how my uncle works, too - he pulls a 40 - 45 hour week in a 2 1/2 day weekend. He is a single ... [snip!] ... perfect for him. (He also co-owns a dog salon with my mom, but thats on their property and he comes and goes as he pleases). "

its a great job. pay is incredible. he's making almost $200,000 a year right now. and come on, for a fireman? that's just crazy.

its def a good job for a single dad! you can swap tours with friends. pretty much unlimited sick/personal days. your schedule is pre planned for 2 years. my BIL is a fireman in boston with my husband. he has sole custody of his 2 boys. works out perfectly!

<blockquote><b>Quoting Conservative MAMA:</b>" My husband runs his own business and I am a SAHM. He goes to work at 7am and comes home at 8-10pm, it ... [snip!] ... but if not I don't get my panties in a bunch. Should I feel resentful or even expect him to help out when he works so much?"</blockquote>




It seems like he helps when he can. It's hard being so damn busy and then having to come home to do more work. I honestly wouldn't get resentful. I've pulled the whole working alllllllll day long and then coming home to more work...now that would call for resentment.

Quoting Conservative MAMA:" My husband runs his own business and I am a SAHM. He goes to work at 7am and comes home at 8-10pm, it ... [snip!] ... but if not I don't get my panties in a bunch. Should I feel resentful or even expect him to help out when he works so much?"

It depends is he spending all that time at work because he has to, or because he wants to? Can he find someone else to help take over some of the responsibility. I realize that to make your family a priority and if one is going to be home, that requires the other to make their job a priority so that they can provide for their family. However there is a line that can be crossed when they choose to be at work instead of their family. While your family needs income to support it, it also needs an involved parent who shows that they are loved and a spouse needs an involved partner to know that she is not in it alone. Bringing in a paycheck is not all that a spouse needs to make a family work.

Quoting Conservative MAMA:" My husband runs his own business and I am a SAHM. He goes to work at 7am and comes home at 8-10pm, it ... [snip!] ... but if not I don't get my panties in a bunch. Should I feel resentful or even expect him to help out when he works so much?"

someone has to make the money... maybe if you got a job to help out, he'd have more time with the kids and yourself... he's working an insanely long day. you really cant be upset.

<blockquote><b>Quoting shes*almost*one!:</b>" its a great job. pay is incredible. he's making almost $200,000 a year right now. and come on, for a ... [snip!] ... pre planned for 2 years. my BIL is a fireman in boston with my husband. he has sole custody of his 2 boys. works out perfectly!"</blockquote>




Hot damn go hubs

Quoting Conservative MAMA:" My husband runs his own business and I am a SAHM. He goes to work at 7am and comes home at 8-10pm, it ... [snip!] ... but if not I don't get my panties in a bunch. Should I feel resentful or even expect him to help out when he works so much?"

sounds like he does the best he can. He does dishes and trash daily, and laundry when he can on top of supporting the house? sounds like a winner

when he gets home from work? He usually smurfs, showers, and asks me what we're having for dinner.


What does he do for work? He's an electrician
How many hours does he work? 40-45 hours a week


Do you expect for him to do anything or for him to help you out after a long day at work? Absolutely. We both work a full time job. He has a harder job (physically) than me, so I understand he's tired and sore..but since we're both away from the house the same amount of time, we both need to pitch in to get things done.

Quoting snglemama:" sounds like he does the best he can. He does dishes and trash daily, and laundry when he can on top of supporting the house? sounds like a winner"

  Seriously.

Quoting snglemama:" sounds like he does the best he can. He does dishes and trash daily, and laundry when he can on top of supporting the house? sounds like a winner"

I agree

I understand not spending time with him can be hard though so maybe you could talk to him about setting aside a couple hours before bed or weekend afternoons just for family time. Or date nights.

SO is a mechanic. He works from 8 AM until 5 PM. He works 40 + hours a week. Then he goes and gets the kids from daycare. I work from 1 PM until 8:30PM so he takes care of the kids and puts them to bed every night.
He cooks every meal we eat and he pays all of the bills. I do all the cleaning. I think that's fair.