DH wants a kid...

PLEASE DO NOT QUOTE (I will be deleting!)

DH wants a kid...none of my 3 kids are his...but our marriage is rocky and it hasn't even been a year yet... The more I think about it the more I just don't want one...I don't like the way he is with kids or anything...he isn't very helpful to me...he bitches about what the kids do all the time and doesn't help at all in the house even though we both work... EVERYTHING is up to me...the cleaning, taking care of the bills, doctors appointments, his business, work, EVERYTHING and I think it's highly unfair and ridiculous...I feel I'm single with someone there who invades my space and stresses me out. ETA: I just can't handle another child and have to handle that much more being pregnant and having another infant...How can I address this issue and tell him I don't want one?

I would just tell him straight up, it's not the right time.

Personally I would be flat out and honest. How would he KNOW if he's not being helpful, you know?
"You're not helping me with the children, you howl and bitch about how they behave, and I feel overwhelmed. Until you can help me more, we won't be having any more children."

Bam, done. Precisely what I told DH because he was doing the same thing (minus my daughter not being his and him yelling at her, he knows I'd beat him black and blue first).

You just need to be honest and LET HIM KNOW why you're afraid/skeptical on doing it. Give him a chance to fix himself and change. if he doesn't, smurf having another kid.

Have you thought about counseling? It could really help.
Maybe after you guys get more established and things get better, you'd feel more comfortable having another kid. I imagine it's not easy for him to step in and take on three kids, and I understand wanting a biological child. But I agree that now probably isn't the best time to add another one, isn't your youngest just a few months old?

Sorry! habit!


just be honest. Tell him you cannot handle anymore, and without him helping take some of the load off you.. there's absolutley no way you'll agree to add more work on to your responsibilities

I'd ell him that right now you don't want kids until he shows he can be a decent dad and husband. Tell him how you feel about the way he acts toward your kids and explain to him why you don't think he can handle having his own children right now

Quoting snglemama:" just be honest. Tell him you cannot handle anymore, and without him helping take some of the load off you.. there's absolutley no way you'll agree to add more work on to your responsibilities"

She didn't want you to quote her.

I would definitely NOT ignore your instincts on this. This post alone shows you, it is not something that would be a good idea.

If your marriage is rocky, then maybe try some marriage counseling before you decide to bring more kids into that mess, please.

Does he have any biological kids?

<blockquote><b>Quoting Mommatini.:</b>" Personally I would be flat out and honest. How would he KNOW if he's not being helpful, you know? "You're ... [snip!] ... why you're afraid/skeptical on doing it. Give him a chance to fix himself and change. if he doesn't, smurf having another kid. "</blockquote>




This.

The first year or two of marriage is the hardest. If you have faith you guys will get through it, you will. DH and I had an AWFUL first year of marriage, but we're coming up on two years and things are literally worlds better. You wouldn't even recognize our relationship, lol. I was also pregnant for the first year, which made things exponentially harder...
Especially since you don't know if you can handle a pregnancy right now, you're better off talking to him about holding it off. Tell him you'd like to get your marriage more stabilized and you'd like to see him try a little more around the house. He needs to start putting in the effort that you do, a marriage and family take 100% effort from everyone.

<blockquote><b>Quoting ~a girl and a boy~:</b>" Does he have any biological kids? "</blockquote>




This & do you even want anymore children at all????

Quoting ~a girl and a boy~:" Does he have any biological kids? "

No, he doesn't have any...