Quoting MysticWitchKat:" Nothing, taryn and I have the same mind on the concept of slut shaming."

She and you don't think they exist. I do. I'm not "shaming" anyone. I've never called a girl a slut in my life, I don't think. But I've thought it in my head.

Quoting Supafly★:" It makes perfect sense. You just don't agree with me. And you think she's shady and crappy but not a slut? What is a slut to you then? "

I do not believe in the term slut. I think it is degrading and only meant to oppress women's sexuality.

<blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" She and you don't think they exist. I do. I'm not "shaming" anyone. I've never called a girl a slut in my life, I don't think. But I've thought it in my head. "</blockquote>




You aren't alone. That's why it's an actal word with an actual dictionary definition. People may not like the word, but that doesn't make the word unreal.

I think we forget REALLY easily that until VERY recently a woman who slept around was likely to get pregnant (thank you birth control) and if she did, no man was going to take credit for the child & that child was not going to be in a very good position for survival nor would the mother, etc, etc. DNA & birth control have changed a lot of things. You can't expect culture to change overnight & if you do, then you're short sighted & bound to find yourself disappointed.

I've been with 1 man. I am old enough to be half you ladies' momma I suspect. LOL I have never regretted that or felt bothered by it. I have friends who could put you ladies with the higher number to shame. At some point I have had nearly every single one make a point to tell me they wish they had what I have & think deep down most people do. I have one man who loves me & has for a very long time now. He knows what works for me sexually in every single possible aspect & same for him. I can't fathom liking sex more outside of a relationship because a stranger can't really know you or what really turns you on. If I wanted to have a "dildo" as I read earlier, I'd buy one. I'd much rather have someone who knows every single button to push without me having to say anything & if I do want something else - I can say so...any.time.

When you are really in a good relationship, there is something very freeing in it. It is NOT restrictive. Find someone you can really be yourself with in every way, sexually & otherwise, and then it is a gift, not a shackle. If it has always been a shackle for you, then perhaps somewhere along the lines you got some mixed messages growing up that make it hard for you to make a good choice in a partner. I don't know. I am not a princess in my house, I'd don't get pampered, I am not a maid, I don't do his laundry...I am a partner. I never get asked where I am going, what I am doing, who I talked to...I *may* get asked if I had a good time....we don't have that kind of thing with each other & never have. We talk about things, we just don't treat each other like we need to be answered to. For real - don't settle in your life for less than the real deal....it is worth it.

IDK what I'd do if Dh died or left or whatever. If I couldn't find something like I've had, I think I'd be alone until I could find it. Nothing else seems worth my time.

And yes - if a woman or man knowingly goes after a married person I do think it's immoral & slutty behavior, especially if that person is nothing more to them than a sexual conquest. I've known a few people who just want to see "if they can" and I think it's despicable behavior. The reason it is immoral is because EVERY person has weak times, times they are having low self esteem, times they may be overly intoxicated, times their relationship isn't at it's best & if someone chooses that time to try to seduce you - they are being a predator at that point. That isn't to say that you aren't responsible too for your own actions - but I myself had someone target me once. We were in a rough patch due to just life stuff & neither of us was doing anything "wrong" we were just having some growing pains in the relationship. Luckily I kept my head on & got myself away from that person with nothing happening, but I can't even like that person now. He should have actually been my friend like I thought he was & cared about me & helped me through the situation, not tried to capitalize on a rough time in my life by trying to make a play.

Sorry for the novel - I guess after reading 13+ pages I had a lot to say.  

Quoting Supafly★:" She and you don't think they exist. I do. I'm not "shaming" anyone. I've never called a girl a slut in my life, I don't think. But I've thought it in my head. "

Good for you I guess?

Quoting Kaleighshaleigh:" <blockquote><b>Quoting Supafly★:</b>" She and you don't think they exist. I ... [snip!] ... it's an actal word with an actual dictionary definition. People may not like the word, but that doesn't make the word unreal."

Yeah, I know. I would like to see what these people would call the woman who broke up their marriage or relationship.
My father and my mother's brother's wife(my aunt) had an affair for a couple years before my mother figured it out. When she did, it was pretty much a nightmare. She fell into a huge depression. My father continued to see my aunt after she kicked him out, but we couldn't tell my mother in fear that she would have a breakdown. This happened when I was 10 years old.
This woman I described is not a slut? Go ahead, girls, tell me that's not being an immoral smurfing smurf to put another woman and her 2 kids though that. Please go ahead and tell me that the situation was perfectly fine and she did nothing wrong.  

Quoting Supafly★:" Yeah, I know. I would like to see what these people would call the woman who broke up their marriage ... [snip!] ... and her 2 kids though that. Please go ahead and tell me that the situation was perfectly fine and she did nothing wrong.  "

No she could be described as a skuzzball though, as could he. But I also don't know the reality of the situation either, so I could not even say.

Quoting Supafly★:" Yeah, I know. I would like to see what these people would call the woman who broke up their marriage ... [snip!] ... and her 2 kids though that. Please go ahead and tell me that the situation was perfectly fine and she did nothing wrong.  "

And to be honest I would just leave because someone like that is garbage, and not worth my time if they can't be honest with me.

I've been with 2.

2 men. 2 women.

Quoting MysticWitchKat:" No she could be described as a skuzzball though, as could he. But I also don't know the reality of the situation either, so I could not even say."

I think you're right about not judging before knowing the situation. But what is the difference between skuzzball and slut? They're both not-nice names for not-nice people.

I waited until I was 25, I've only been with one guy, my fiance and father to my unborn son. I agree that it's more attitude than numbers that make a person a slut.

Quoting Supafly★:" I think you're right about not judging before knowing the situation. But what is the difference between skuzzball and slut? They're both not-nice names for not-nice people. "

Because slut is gender specific and promotes misogyny and rape culture. You can say all you want that you would call a man a slut, but the fact of the matter is you probably wouldn't and most people associate the word slut with a woman. I don't use ANY words that promote misogyny, racism, sexism, etc. I don't say words like slut, whore, skank, I don't use racial slurs, I don't use the word retarded. People need to realize their words do have a negative impact on society.

Quoting Supafly★:" I think you're right about not judging before knowing the situation. But what is the difference between skuzzball and slut? They're both not-nice names for not-nice people. "

Basically slut is tied to females as an end all judgement of their moral character. People throw is around like candy based on any behavior they deem unsavory. Girl has sex outside marriage-Slut, Girl smurfs 15 people in a year-Slut,Girl dresses in tight clothing-Slut,Girl gets a little tipsy then gets raped-Slut who was asking for it. The point is it's something primarily used to shame a certain gender for their behavior. Women get the brunt end of the abuse no matter what. How often do you see a girl stay with the guy who cheated on her yet go on a bash fest about the girl he did it with? She gets branded a slut of the highest order yet he simply was just a naughty boy. Skuzzball doesn't have the same negative connotations as slut

Three.

My first was a long term boyfriend and my son's sperm donor. I was 15.
Second was a BIG mistake, one night stand type of situation and I was 16 then.
My third is my current SO.