Do you ladies think it's possible to be in love and committed to someone but not want to get married to them?

(My friend and I were just talking about this lol. I think it's completely possible but she says it doesn't make senese.)

Yep. I would have never married DH if we could have avoided it, because I really see marriage as nothing but a piece of paper.
But since NC decided to be smurfs and pass Amendment One, it's a good thing we got married or I wouldn't be protected for smurf.

I think its possible to love someone, and want to be with them forever. But to me, there is no actual commitment aside from marriage. Without marriage, what other commitment is there?

Sure, buying a house/car/having kids together is a commitment to stay in each other's lives, but not specifically for romantic purposes. Marriage is the only commitment to a person out of love and wanting to stay with them, IMO.

Quoting Vodka Knockers:" Yep. I would have never married DH if we could have avoided it, because I really see marriage as nothing ... [snip!] ... since NC decided to be smurfs and pass Amendment One, it's a good thing we got married or I wouldn't be protected for smurf."

True but it signals a commitment to staying with that person.

Quoting Vodka Knockers:" Yep. I would have never married DH if we could have avoided it, because I really see marriage as nothing ... [snip!] ... since NC decided to be smurfs and pass Amendment One, it's a good thing we got married or I wouldn't be protected for smurf."

wait, isn't amendment one about gay marriage? how does that affect you?

You could.
I married DH because its proving to each other our commitment to one another. To some people it's just a piece of paper, to us it meant more

Its definitely possible. Sometimes it makes more sense to get married but that doesnt mean it has to happen for you to be in love with someone.

You can be committed without bring married. A piece of paper and some legal hurdles don't keep people together (shown by the 50% divorce rate) and if its the only thing keeping two people together its not the type of relationship I'd ever want to be in. love keeps people together for the long haul.

To me marriage is just the ideological and legal contract to the one someone has already made in their heart.

I didn't want to be married ever (we got married for monetary benefits and I am not ashamed to say it). I don't see it as a commitment, I see it as a bunch of B/S you'd have to go through in order to leave me, so he'd stay to avoid all of that (well, my SO would, I know some people, like his mom, get married and divorced every couple of years. Not much of a commitment for her and her partners!) whether he loved me or not. I thought of marriage as a show of commitment to the world, yeah, but not necessarily to your partner.

For me personally, I viewed it as SO MUCH MORE of a commitment that SO stayed with me when he could have walked out the door, no paper work, no waiting, no lawyers, no psychological "omg we're getting divorced before thirty, i'm a failure" crap.

I didn't wear a wedding ring for like, five years. I didn't take his name. The man is still here, still loves me, still committed, and in my weird-ass mind, that's the best thing ever. Not something he did because society does it, he proved to me his commitment in his own ways, every day, over and over. But! That is certainly my opinion and not for everyone  

Yes. I personally believe that marriage is nothing but a business contract. DH and I were married because I was military and it made sense to so he could receive benefits. You can have love and commitment without the piece of paper. However, I take our marriage and the vows we wrote for each other very seriously.

Quoting TrollMama:" I didn't want to be married ever (we got married for monetary benefits and I am not ashamed to say it). ... [snip!] ... to me his commitment in his own ways, every day, over and over. But! That is certainly my opinion and not for everyone  "

I really love that, sounds awesome.  

Yeah, I think you can be in love with out being married, in fact you shouldn't get married until you're in love. But I think of marriage as the ultimate commitment, it's kinda insulting to me when people say its just a piece of paper. To me that piece of paper was our way of showing each other that we were always going to take care of each other. It wasn't so its harder to leave each other, it's so it's easier to protect each other. Legally and otherwise.

So no, I think if you were really committed, you'd want to be married.

Quoting JiLLiAN.:" wait, isn't amendment one about gay marriage? how does that affect you?"

No, it makes it so that the only legally recognized union is a married man and woman. It affects unmarried couples, straight or gay.

Quoting Legendary Amanda:" Yeah, I think you can be in love with out being married, in fact you shouldn't get married until you're ... [snip!] ... easier to protect each other. Legally and otherwise. So no, I think if you were really committed, you'd want to be married."

 

it sickens me, the amount of people that post something on here, especially smurf that's MINOR and people are like "i'd leave" - why!? WORK IT OUT.

Quoting Vodka Knockers:" No, it makes it so that the only legally recognized union is a married man and woman. It affects unmarried couples, straight or gay."

ohhh. so what would be "unprotected" had you not gotten married? sorry, i just don't know anything about it.