I feel like this shouldn't bother me...

But it does....everything about it does!
My ex got engaged today. For the second time. I love this girl/lady/woman, whatever you want to call her. She's a beautiful person. Which makes me feel bad for feeling so jealous, and mad. I don't even know what I'm feeling really. First off I was jealous. If he had of been the man he is now, when we were together, who knows how we would have ended up. I loved him so much, and he was a jerk! They've been together for less than a year, and are engaged. Jealous... yes (and I feel smurffy for it) Mad, because a month ago, he decided he couldn't afford child support... so he called them up and applied for some thing which meant that he didn't have to pay CS. His application was successful, so now, he pays nothing. Yet, he can easily afford an engagement ring. His priorities haven't been with his daughter in a while now. His girlfriend... or I guess fiancée now, and her kids have been coming before his daughter for a while now.
Heh, I don't know, I feel smurffy for being jealous and mad and upset. The past week and a half has been such a whirlwind of emotions. My new nephew was born, my Nana passed away, I was told I have a "possible polyp" in my uterus.. meaning, it could also not be a polyp, either way, it needs cutting out of me, and I can't continue TTC until it's removed. I have my Nanas funeral on Monday, and my birthday Tuesday. I just don't know how to feel any more. I just want to feel numb  

End of my tantrum/rant

Then you should be jealous he still a self centred jerk who cares more about himself then his kids and this is why you are not with him now

You don't need to be jealous, he still sounds like a douche if that's the way he treats his own daughter... but I do understand it's upsetting that he's starting a life and manning up for someone else, that essentially was supposed to be your life... and I sure would be pissed about him not paying child support but buying engagement rings and supporting SOMEONE ELSE'S children.

Does he have any type of custody of your daughter where he has to provide for her at all?

Quoting ~Jekka~:" But it does....everything about it does! My ex got engaged today. For the second time. I love this girl/lady/woman, ... [snip!] ... on Monday, and my birthday Tuesday. I just don't know how to feel any more. I just want to feel numb   End of my tantrum/rant"

I would actually take that information to the court and get them to reapply cs. If he has been lying about finances he can actually go to jail.

Quoting MysticWitchKat:" I would actually take that information to the court and get them to reapply cs. If he has been lying about finances he can actually go to jail."

I was just about to add this. It hardly seems fair that his daughter has to go without what she deserves from him, just because his priorities are messed up. If he really was in financial hardship, that's one thing... but clearly, he's not.

You shouldnt be feeling jealous just mad and upset that he dont put his daughter first.

Quoting KatyRP:" You shouldnt be feeling jealous just mad and upset that he dont put his daughter first."

people can't help how they feel...


OP... ((hugs)) I get it. my ex husband was an smurf.. never put any effort into the relationship. We had 4 kids together.. he never did anythign with them, never bought them anything, and was only awake for half an hour aday before going to work.

now.. he's engaged, takes the kids places etc.. they say eh's great now. They hardly remember when he was mean.. while that's great for them.. It bothers me. I'd have stayed if he'd put in HALF as much effort in our marriage as he does now. Last year for my kids birthdays they got NOTHING. Not even a box made cake (and yes he can cook) their birthdays are all in May. 2 weeks later he gave her an engagement ring. ugh.

I would be going right back to court about the child support thing.

Thanks everyone... I've just had a really smurffy week, and the engagement just topped it all off.
He has his daughter 2 nights every second week. But it isn't court ordered. We never bothered to go through the courts. I've been thinking a lot about it lately though. I'm thinking of going and talking to a lawyer about it all. I know my daughter isn;t going to miss out on anything. SO is great, and plays the father role a lot better than her Bio dad. But that doesn't change the fact that he is still her bio dad.... and he needs to either leave altogether, or man up and be a better dad to her. It just isn't fair on her.